We rely on op-shops where we can, we only buy new stuff that's on sale or discounted in some other way. Otherwise we wouldn't be able to afford it.
When our older kids were younger, especially the girls, we set a specific amount per year they could puttowards clothes. Anything else - get a part-time job abd buy it yourself, or count on hand-me-downs.
With the boys, they tend to prefer hand-me-downs because the fabric is softer and worn in.
If you have to beggar yourself to get the fashion items the kids crave then you're not doing them any favours. In fact, all it will do is feed their desperation to look fashionable NOW, before they get out of their teens and become dowdy and ragged like their parents.
The other important thing if you're planning on getting him a fresh wardrobe (avoid the word "new") is PLAN. Make sure that what you do get, whether 2nd hand or not, all coordinates. You've seen the magazine articles that say, "One classic item can be dressed up or down, good quality may cost a bit more but is worth it in terms of the wear you get out of it." Not if the kid refuses to wear it! But what one kid will refuse to wear, another kid might love. That's why op-shops do such a roaring trade.
Tell the kids you're doing the responsible thing for te planet, too - op-shops sell clothes fairly locally (not too local - and if the kid is concerned about this, go visit an op-shop in the next town) and whenever we re-use stuff, we're completely eliminating the manufacturing cost from our own ecological footprint. YOu might not believe this, but our kids generally are taught in school to consider the environment and this might 'sell'.
Another option is to teach the kids how to sew.
I was horriified a few years ago when I went to buy jeans for difficult child 3. I couldn't get them 2nd hand because he's so long andskinny, you can't get op-shop jeans in his size very often. Then he would wear out jeans in a matter of days sometimes, so I would patch the jeans. I looked around to see how other kids were wearing their "worn out" jeans, often the jenas purchased in that condition NEW, and did the same adjustments to difficult child 3.
When I went to the store to buy him some new jeans I was appalled - all I wanted was plain denims, not those pre-faded thin fabric rubbish. We needed strong canvas, not pre-weakened fabric. The best I could find not only had the paler patches dyed on (to make the jeans look old and faded in the high wear areas) but also had darker spots dyed on (to look like oil spots) and another colour overlaid to make them look dirty - I am not kidding! And of course all this interference with the look of the jeans costs money, so these trousers that already had holes in, always looked worn and dirty from the first day he wore them, were a lot more expensive.
I had to buy a pair, I managed to avoid the ones with the printed on oil spots, but the ones we got always looked bad because the colour was designed to look dirty, even after they had been washed thoroughly.
The best jeans to wear, in my opinion, are the ones which have been honestly faded, honestly worn. You can tell - the jeans which have earned their wear "match" the body inside. Even if you get them 2nd hand, if the jeans fit you then chances are, the already-earned wear pattern will also fit your body.
Or maybe this is the problem with kid these days - to be caught wearing honestly worn jeans is an open admission of poverty and being working class? While to wear jeans which close inspection will reveal to be designed to look worn and faded has that touch of falseness that reassures the observer that the wearer isn't really working class and poor, they just dress expensively to look like it.
Frankly, it all comes down to the back story. When I was a kid, I remember falling in love with faded jeans, the day I saw a young couple wearing matching Levi 501's, well-faded to a pale blue in the high wear areas (seat, front of thighs, the waistband, the knees). The girl had threaded a colourful scarf through the belt loops and together, they looked carefree and happy, the epitome of the freedoms of the early 70s. My mother was scandalised, which totally sold me. I loved the look because the romance it implied was the back story. It told of long walks through the bush, maybe sleeping rough at the rock festivals followed by a dawn swim at Byron Bay. Chances are, those kids had never done any of those things but they HAD worn those jeans to the point of good, honest wear.
What would jeans like that go with?
Anything you want! Anything from an old t-shirt with holes, to a satin sequinned blouse and black stiletto heels for a movie premiere.
These days fashion is far more open and variable, fashion is whatever you want it to be. Gone are the days when everyone had to wear the exact same items because you simply couldn't get anything else. Fashions now are in hemlines (although even those are variable) and in the range of colours. But if a certain style doesn't suit you (even if it looks fabulous on someone else) then you have choice these days.
And this goes for guys as well as girls.
I was watching Aussie TV yesterday and they were interviewing the fairly new pop icon Mika. He's British (with Lebanese background) and his music has been described as Freddie Mercury mixed with Elton John. The kids love his music and love his fashion style. And he said - his mother makes his clothes! She also designs them. He does some design also, then lets his mother make it up. He and his family do all the design on his album covers, his staging for concerts - the lot.
CHances are if your kid turned up at school looking exactly like Mika, he'd get beaten up. But if he could sound like Mika - probably not. It's being able to carry off whatever you aim for.
A person's style is being determined in the mid-teens and onward. Sometimes that style is conservative, sometimes it's more adventurous. But it's always a personal statement.
The thing is - self-expression needn't bankrupt you. The more personal touches are what sets a person apart in terms of their individuality. part of the personal touch is in what you choose to acquire, then in how you choose to wear it. Wear a badge as well? A scarf? Odd socks? If you accidentally put on odd socks but tell everyone you did it on purpose, you have just made a fashion staement. If you become known for always wearing odd socks deliberately, it becomes part of your persona.
The weird thing is - kids are the msot conservative when it comes to fashion. Everyone esle is wering THAT brand of jeans wityh THIS style or in a particular colour. As a rsult, these kids are more likely to look the same, in their zeal for self-expression.
So sit with him, find out what styles he likes, then plan. Don't just charge in and say, "This looks good," and get it. What does it look good with? What does he already have that fits? If not, what does he like to wear?
And always begin your trip with the op-shops. It's the environmentally responsible thing to do. It's also going to mean you can afford a great deal more!
Marg
