does anyone else just lose it with-difficult child?

crazymama30

Active Member
I lost it with difficult child this morning, and have felt bad all day. Sometimes my buttons are easier to push, and he was jumping on them this morning. I am the adult, why can't I hold it together? I just have to remember I am doing the best I can, and I cannot be perfect.
 

Hound dog

Nana's are Beautiful
Has any parent of a difficult child Not lost it at one time or another????

We're all very very human. I know I lose it when my stress threshold has maxed out or I'm just so darn frustrated. I was never too proud to apologize. And I always worked harded to make sure it wasn't repeated. Although I have improved with age, and as my kids aged.

I found giving myself a few minutes of Time Out helped. And I had to learn to take care of myself, be good to myself so that those stress levels didn't reach the max. This is vital for me.
 

texasboys

New Member
thanks for all the words of wisdom. i just get so overwhelmed at times. i actually think i'm getting better at this, so that's why i can also get so down on myself - i should know better. you all are so wonderful - thanks for being there and listening!!
 

needabreak

New Member
Loose it.god i loose it all the time even when i tell myself todoy is going to be different.and it just never is.one day i hope i get it right.
 

Allan-Matlem

Active Member
Hi,
in my humble opinion a ' working with' , problem solving approach helps you stay out of a confrontational mode. When your kid is pushing your buttons , see the book/site http://www.bonnieharris.com/ I usually see it as a poor coping skill, kid has a problem , not me. The best way to deal with this is to avoid these situations by trying to create a relaxed atmosphere in the home, plenty of dance and music, dialog on general stuff etc . When we lose it gives us an idea how easy it is for our kids to lose. Really we and kids move forward when we feel good about ourselves , so we have to quickly look for the reset button and move on

Allan
 

Martie

Moderator
Kathy,

You are a math teacher so I hope you will resonate to the example below, and probably could explain it better than I did. I am quoting myself from something I wrote in SpEd101 recently:
You can roughly figure out the SD score from their evaluation: if she was only six months behind at that time, the SS would not have fallen much below 90 (which is within normal limits) Age equivalents are a mess because they have no relative meaning which is why SS should be used. What does it mean if a 12 month old child is 6 months delayed (an IQ of 50 comes to mind--with the hope that it won't turn out that way.) A lag of six months at age 8 is a concern but unlikely to trigger Special Education services (absent a performance problem which your daughter had) and at age 18--a 6 month lag is no big deal at all. It might yield a SS of 97 or 98 (because so many more months have been lived.) One can represent this mathematically: at 6 months-- 6/12; at 8 years 6/96; at 18 years--6/216.


This is why the projections so far into the future do not work and as a ratio, 2/3 will not continue to work although as a rough approximation in children, the idea is certainly useful. For adults, there may still be a lag--but it will be different. Also, it is unclear to me what a 40 year old acting like a 35 year old means.

Martie
 

givnmegryhr

New Member
I have little to no patience and I lose it alot. My husband is extremely patient ,but even he will reach a boiling point. I will keep in the back of my mind the he wins if I explode thing,but I also feel holding it all in will eventually make me physically ill. I have found just walking away helps alot of the time.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
We solved the getting dressed problem, when Lucas was younger, by dressing him the night before and letting him sleep in his clothes. It made it much easier to get him ready in the morning. I don't have to do that anymore.
I was at an event at school last night and there were quite a few Spectrum kids there that I hadn't seen for a few years. I'm always shocked by how much these kids improve. Unlike most disorders, rather than deteriorating, Spectrum kids tend to get much better with age. They still have Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) and they do need interventions, and conventional stuff still won't work with them, but they just seem to improve immensely. I don't know how it would be if they didn't get interventions, but I was shocked. A totally non-verbal kid two years ago was talking to his mother (garbled, but talking), hugging her, and was so much more alert and with it than two years ago that it staggered me. I hope you focus more on the Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) interventions than behavioral mod beacause, if he is Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD), the behavioral mod is in my opinion not anywhere near as good as helping the "different" child learn to cope in a world that he finds very confusing and frustrating. It just isn't the same thing as a psychiatric disorder, but requires different intervening and a different way of the parents looking at the child. They arent "bad"--they are trying to make sense of a world that makes no sense. Hugs.
 
Top