I have three adult children: 27 and 25-year old boy/girl twins. Most recently I discovered my daughter has been taking money from my purse and forging checks on my account. She had to admit to the checks since I had copies of them but she denied taking the money from my wallet. I discovered another forged check and confronted her at which point she admitted taking $20 from my wallet the night before. I had fallen asleep on the couch with my bag on the floor beside me, which means she had to sneak the bag literaly right out from under me. I got angry and slapped her when she called me dirty names then told her to leave....which she did along with her twin brother. I've been trying to get them to pay and/or help around the house but they seldom did anything. Even though it is really bad right now (I feel like ****), I do believe that the only way I could have gotten them to leave is by a big blow up like we had.
I've suffered through living with the three of them for the past three years - and have had all kinds of theft: daughter's twin brother stole money from my ATM and I've had two charge cards taken and used but wasn't able to prove which one of them did the taking. In addition to the theft, I've bailed the three of them out of jail, paid lawyers and fines for them. My son has a warrant on him for a failure to appear and my daughter has been arrested four times in the past two years alone - for DUI and shoplifting. She is presently driving on a suspended license in a car with expired tags BUT still drives. The day after she and bro left, I drove by my house on my lunch break and she was here but couldn't get in the house since I had locked all doors and fastened windows. She went off on me, screaming profanities, calling me every name in the book, accused me of punching her the night before - I didn't punch; I slapped her which is something I'm not proud of but I allowed her to get to me - which is how she operates. She tried it the day I drove by but I wouldn't let her get me going. When I asked her for my house key, she refused screaming at me the entire time (impressive performance for my retired neighbors) and threw the key into the yard. I made her pick it up and give it to me before I unlocked the outer door that is seldom locked and to which she didn't have a key. She loaded up her car with clothes, throwing stuff into the yard and driveway. Her boyfriend (who dumped her after three years after she got drunk AGAIN and went on a crazy all-night rant AGAIN) texted me to let me know he thought I was a dead-beat who didn't help her daughter and that my daughter had never had a family support system in any way.
I really do believe she has a serious mental disorder like bi-polar or something. She lies all the time and I wonder if she doesn't believe her own hype. Who knows what she told her boyfriend. I paid for her phone for a couple years but let her's go when the contract was up and she wouldn't answer my calls. I am still paying for the boys' phones but one contract is up and when I can pay my bill, I'll disconnect that phone. STill, I worry that they won't have phone service but I've been paying for these phones off and on since 2007.
I really don't know what to do about any of this. I'm not able to sleep through the night and am stressed beyond belief. Still, I''m so tired of drama and being demonized by my daughter, her brothers, and their friends. I'm wondering if I should attempt to mend bridges or just let all three of them deal with their own lives - without living here. They make no secret of the fact that they are only here because they have no where else to go and that they blame me for everything that is wrong in their lives (the criminal records, the failure to complete college, their failed relationships). My son, twin boy, even told me I had never tried to help him do anything. Will it ever get better? Or is this the way life will be with them forever? I feel like they take and take and take with little effort to give back anything.
I've suffered through living with the three of them for the past three years - and have had all kinds of theft: daughter's twin brother stole money from my ATM and I've had two charge cards taken and used but wasn't able to prove which one of them did the taking. In addition to the theft, I've bailed the three of them out of jail, paid lawyers and fines for them. My son has a warrant on him for a failure to appear and my daughter has been arrested four times in the past two years alone - for DUI and shoplifting. She is presently driving on a suspended license in a car with expired tags BUT still drives. The day after she and bro left, I drove by my house on my lunch break and she was here but couldn't get in the house since I had locked all doors and fastened windows. She went off on me, screaming profanities, calling me every name in the book, accused me of punching her the night before - I didn't punch; I slapped her which is something I'm not proud of but I allowed her to get to me - which is how she operates. She tried it the day I drove by but I wouldn't let her get me going. When I asked her for my house key, she refused screaming at me the entire time (impressive performance for my retired neighbors) and threw the key into the yard. I made her pick it up and give it to me before I unlocked the outer door that is seldom locked and to which she didn't have a key. She loaded up her car with clothes, throwing stuff into the yard and driveway. Her boyfriend (who dumped her after three years after she got drunk AGAIN and went on a crazy all-night rant AGAIN) texted me to let me know he thought I was a dead-beat who didn't help her daughter and that my daughter had never had a family support system in any way.
I really do believe she has a serious mental disorder like bi-polar or something. She lies all the time and I wonder if she doesn't believe her own hype. Who knows what she told her boyfriend. I paid for her phone for a couple years but let her's go when the contract was up and she wouldn't answer my calls. I am still paying for the boys' phones but one contract is up and when I can pay my bill, I'll disconnect that phone. STill, I worry that they won't have phone service but I've been paying for these phones off and on since 2007.
I really don't know what to do about any of this. I'm not able to sleep through the night and am stressed beyond belief. Still, I''m so tired of drama and being demonized by my daughter, her brothers, and their friends. I'm wondering if I should attempt to mend bridges or just let all three of them deal with their own lives - without living here. They make no secret of the fact that they are only here because they have no where else to go and that they blame me for everything that is wrong in their lives (the criminal records, the failure to complete college, their failed relationships). My son, twin boy, even told me I had never tried to help him do anything. Will it ever get better? Or is this the way life will be with them forever? I feel like they take and take and take with little effort to give back anything.