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Does juvy really help?
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<blockquote data-quote="MyHrt31" data-source="post: 256838" data-attributes="member: 6666"><p>Thanks! I have to wonder exactly how much difficult child can control his aggressiveness. He threw a chair and it hit a teacher. The principal admitted that he did not mean to hit her, she just ended up in the way. She was trying to stop him from going after another kid who was teasing him and who hit him (at least that's what my difficult child told me). </p><p> </p><p>The thing is, the night before this happened, I knew his anger and aggression had become increasingly worse over the last few weeks. He's going to an alternative school thats supposed to be for "behavior problem kids". At first, he was doing great. There were no issues except for the fact that he did not want to do his schoolwork (this he obviously can control). The last few weeks, he has come home every day talking about other kids teasing him and hitting him. I've addressed the issue with the teachers and they say that they tried turning his desk to face the wall so he can not see the other children. If he hears them, he'll turn around an mock what they do (they stick him the finger, curse, throw things at him).</p><p> </p><p> Thursday night (the night before he got into trouble), I showed him a video of boot camp so he could see what juvy was like. I explained that this is where the judge sends children who make bad decisions. He promised me he would have a GREAT day the next day. I dropped him off at 8 that morning and reminded him about the video. He promised he would do great because he did not want to go there. He was truly scared and I honestly believe that he did want to do better. He got into class and a kid stuck out his tongue at him and called him a name. difficult child decided to tell the kid to keep his tongue in his mouth or else (of course, this set the other kid off). My difficult child swears that the other kid hit first (I still have to ask the teacher about this) and it escalated to him throwing a chair to "scare the kid off". My difficult child was immediatlely remorseful and was worried about his teacher. </p><p> </p><p>He ended up in the principals office. She called me and told me to come and get him and that she wanted to speak with me. When I got there, she was talking to him very loudly about "how she knows he is doing everything just for attention and that this has nothing to do with his exceptionality" She told me that everything he does is for attention and that he threw the chair so he could get attention. HUH? I just shrugged it off because I am used to people trying to psychoanalyze my difficult child and thinking that they hold doctoral degrees. Whatever, lol.... </p><p> </p><p>So anyways, she went on and on about "if i were your mom, I would make you clean and i would stand over you with a fly swatter the entire time" and "your mom wants to believe in you because she loves you but I can see right through you. You are doing this all for attention and you know EXACTLY what you are doing" and "the judge is going to fix you" Stuff like that... I let her go on because I was so stressed over the phone call that I couldn't think straight and I was afraid I'd say something I'd later regret. I kept my mouth shut and took him home. </p><p> </p><p>I made him clean the house and all the toilets and he was happy as can be (what 9 year old would rather clean toilets than be at school... I guess mine, lol). He told me that he deserved every punishment I gave him and that he was very sorry. He lost computer and Wii privileges for the weekend. He is irritated about it but he is not lashing out at me. </p><p> </p><p>I guess I am just worried that it will traumatize him if he ends up there (in juvy). He's got sensory integration disorder and people yelling scares the *#_# out of him. He holds his ears when I put the bathwater on so I can imagine what that kind of environment will do to him. I'm sure it will frighten him at first but maybe he'll get used to it. </p><p> </p><p>I was just wondering if it could be something useful for his many disorders or if I should fight it. I have a meeting with the school on Monday. He was supposed to go back to his regular school but because of this, he will most likely have to stay at this "behavior school". I don't know if I should agree to keep him there or demand that they send him back to his other school. I have already asked for one on one aid and an assistive technology assessment for him for when he went back to the other school. I suppose I'll have to demand these two things at this school. </p><p> </p><p>I am just running out of options (we do not have Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s in this area) and juvy looks like it may be a possibility. He's not exposed to drugs, alcohol, or violence. His only friend is also Aspie and they spend most of their time watching Star Wars and talking about light sabers. He's never brought a "weapon" to school although he has a habit of either hiding under tables and chairs or throwing or pushing them at people when he's upset. No parent wants to see their kid go there and I will if it means it can help BUT if it will make things worse, than I plan to fight it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="MyHrt31, post: 256838, member: 6666"] Thanks! I have to wonder exactly how much difficult child can control his aggressiveness. He threw a chair and it hit a teacher. The principal admitted that he did not mean to hit her, she just ended up in the way. She was trying to stop him from going after another kid who was teasing him and who hit him (at least that's what my difficult child told me). The thing is, the night before this happened, I knew his anger and aggression had become increasingly worse over the last few weeks. He's going to an alternative school thats supposed to be for "behavior problem kids". At first, he was doing great. There were no issues except for the fact that he did not want to do his schoolwork (this he obviously can control). The last few weeks, he has come home every day talking about other kids teasing him and hitting him. I've addressed the issue with the teachers and they say that they tried turning his desk to face the wall so he can not see the other children. If he hears them, he'll turn around an mock what they do (they stick him the finger, curse, throw things at him). Thursday night (the night before he got into trouble), I showed him a video of boot camp so he could see what juvy was like. I explained that this is where the judge sends children who make bad decisions. He promised me he would have a GREAT day the next day. I dropped him off at 8 that morning and reminded him about the video. He promised he would do great because he did not want to go there. He was truly scared and I honestly believe that he did want to do better. He got into class and a kid stuck out his tongue at him and called him a name. difficult child decided to tell the kid to keep his tongue in his mouth or else (of course, this set the other kid off). My difficult child swears that the other kid hit first (I still have to ask the teacher about this) and it escalated to him throwing a chair to "scare the kid off". My difficult child was immediatlely remorseful and was worried about his teacher. He ended up in the principals office. She called me and told me to come and get him and that she wanted to speak with me. When I got there, she was talking to him very loudly about "how she knows he is doing everything just for attention and that this has nothing to do with his exceptionality" She told me that everything he does is for attention and that he threw the chair so he could get attention. HUH? I just shrugged it off because I am used to people trying to psychoanalyze my difficult child and thinking that they hold doctoral degrees. Whatever, lol.... So anyways, she went on and on about "if i were your mom, I would make you clean and i would stand over you with a fly swatter the entire time" and "your mom wants to believe in you because she loves you but I can see right through you. You are doing this all for attention and you know EXACTLY what you are doing" and "the judge is going to fix you" Stuff like that... I let her go on because I was so stressed over the phone call that I couldn't think straight and I was afraid I'd say something I'd later regret. I kept my mouth shut and took him home. I made him clean the house and all the toilets and he was happy as can be (what 9 year old would rather clean toilets than be at school... I guess mine, lol). He told me that he deserved every punishment I gave him and that he was very sorry. He lost computer and Wii privileges for the weekend. He is irritated about it but he is not lashing out at me. I guess I am just worried that it will traumatize him if he ends up there (in juvy). He's got sensory integration disorder and people yelling scares the *#_# out of him. He holds his ears when I put the bathwater on so I can imagine what that kind of environment will do to him. I'm sure it will frighten him at first but maybe he'll get used to it. I was just wondering if it could be something useful for his many disorders or if I should fight it. I have a meeting with the school on Monday. He was supposed to go back to his regular school but because of this, he will most likely have to stay at this "behavior school". I don't know if I should agree to keep him there or demand that they send him back to his other school. I have already asked for one on one aid and an assistive technology assessment for him for when he went back to the other school. I suppose I'll have to demand these two things at this school. I am just running out of options (we do not have Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s in this area) and juvy looks like it may be a possibility. He's not exposed to drugs, alcohol, or violence. His only friend is also Aspie and they spend most of their time watching Star Wars and talking about light sabers. He's never brought a "weapon" to school although he has a habit of either hiding under tables and chairs or throwing or pushing them at people when he's upset. No parent wants to see their kid go there and I will if it means it can help BUT if it will make things worse, than I plan to fight it. [/QUOTE]
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