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Does nothing work for your kid like it does the rest of the world?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 215252" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>Oh, she sounds SO much like easy child 2/difficult child 2! She also feels the cold a lot and also insists that the rest of the family adapt to HER needs.</p><p></p><p>Maybe it's an Aussie thing (temperate zone) and maybe it's because here it doesn't get cold enough to be life-threatening (as a rule), but we were raised with, "If you're feeling cold, put on another layer of clothes, don't turn up the heat until everyone needs it."</p><p></p><p>husband feels the heat, I feel the cold. So we sleep with him in lightweight cotton pyjamas and me in full thermal layers with double layer of down doona over the top. We adapt, so we can still manage to be together without making it intolerable for one, to make it acceptable for the other.</p><p></p><p>easy child 2/difficult child 2 bought a cooking thermometer which she used to measure the temperature of the bath water. It had to be 42 degrees C at the tap. She would then leave the bath for up to an hour, then add more hot water because it had gone too cold. Meanwhile we could have run several other family members trough the bathroom while we waited for her.</p><p>When she finally DID go to have her bath, we had to wait almost two hours at times, especially if she planned to both wash her hair and shave her legs.</p><p></p><p>Naturally this generally meant we had to turn on the hot water heater (which costs) because the solar-heated water would be used up fast, when she ran her very full bath. </p><p></p><p>husband & I are very happy now she's moved out. She and BF2 have to manage with a small bathtub with a small quick-recovery heater, which apparently is not only no longer recovering quickly, it is collapsing form exhaustion. It is also getting very expensive with power bills, as she empties the hot water tank entirely into the bath then has to wait half an hour for it to get up to her required 42 degrees C. Only it has to get up even higher now, because after half an hour, the amount in the bathtub has cooled to tepid.</p><p></p><p>At last she has to organise her bath and it cannot be our fault.</p><p></p><p>As for the "headstrong in her own self-defeat" (love that line) - that's easy child 2/difficult child 2. Only there's nobody around to rescue her. Nobody to hurt at either, most of the time, because BF2 works very long hours (to pay the power bill?).</p><p></p><p>Heather, I really don't know what to say except stand your ground politely (even when she isn't being polite) and weather the storms. Make alternatives available, introduce her to thermals but make it clear - if SHE won't use the sensible options you provide, then she has no right to complain.</p><p></p><p>Part of it, too, is the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) component of Asperger's-type symptoms. They are single minded in only seeing one possible solution pathway and cannot think laterally, especially when they get into the histrionics and panic about it all. I saw it on Saturday in difficult child 1's new mother in law - she was brilliant at planning a lot of the wedding, but on the day when things refused to go exactly according to her plants, she began to get very difficult indeed, I hear her snarl at the best man, "This is what happens when you refuse to have a wedding rehearsal!" (this was a very informal wedding, the bride was barefoot, we didn't NEED the formality or fuss and a rehearsal just wasn't going to be possible).</p><p></p><p>Heather, one possible solution is to get a ceiling fan installed in her room and your room - I know it sounds bizarre, but a ceiling fan will move hot air at the ceiling, back down to the room. husband & I have this in place. We have no central heating but will use a space heater in winter on really cold nights and have often turned on the ceiling fan (low is all you need) to help the space heater warm the room more effectively. I even got easy child 2/difficult child 2 to do this.</p><p></p><p>If all else fails, tell her it's good practice for living in a crypt (she's still Goth, isn't she?)</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 215252, member: 1991"] Oh, she sounds SO much like easy child 2/difficult child 2! She also feels the cold a lot and also insists that the rest of the family adapt to HER needs. Maybe it's an Aussie thing (temperate zone) and maybe it's because here it doesn't get cold enough to be life-threatening (as a rule), but we were raised with, "If you're feeling cold, put on another layer of clothes, don't turn up the heat until everyone needs it." husband feels the heat, I feel the cold. So we sleep with him in lightweight cotton pyjamas and me in full thermal layers with double layer of down doona over the top. We adapt, so we can still manage to be together without making it intolerable for one, to make it acceptable for the other. easy child 2/difficult child 2 bought a cooking thermometer which she used to measure the temperature of the bath water. It had to be 42 degrees C at the tap. She would then leave the bath for up to an hour, then add more hot water because it had gone too cold. Meanwhile we could have run several other family members trough the bathroom while we waited for her. When she finally DID go to have her bath, we had to wait almost two hours at times, especially if she planned to both wash her hair and shave her legs. Naturally this generally meant we had to turn on the hot water heater (which costs) because the solar-heated water would be used up fast, when she ran her very full bath. husband & I are very happy now she's moved out. She and BF2 have to manage with a small bathtub with a small quick-recovery heater, which apparently is not only no longer recovering quickly, it is collapsing form exhaustion. It is also getting very expensive with power bills, as she empties the hot water tank entirely into the bath then has to wait half an hour for it to get up to her required 42 degrees C. Only it has to get up even higher now, because after half an hour, the amount in the bathtub has cooled to tepid. At last she has to organise her bath and it cannot be our fault. As for the "headstrong in her own self-defeat" (love that line) - that's easy child 2/difficult child 2. Only there's nobody around to rescue her. Nobody to hurt at either, most of the time, because BF2 works very long hours (to pay the power bill?). Heather, I really don't know what to say except stand your ground politely (even when she isn't being polite) and weather the storms. Make alternatives available, introduce her to thermals but make it clear - if SHE won't use the sensible options you provide, then she has no right to complain. Part of it, too, is the Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) component of Asperger's-type symptoms. They are single minded in only seeing one possible solution pathway and cannot think laterally, especially when they get into the histrionics and panic about it all. I saw it on Saturday in difficult child 1's new mother in law - she was brilliant at planning a lot of the wedding, but on the day when things refused to go exactly according to her plants, she began to get very difficult indeed, I hear her snarl at the best man, "This is what happens when you refuse to have a wedding rehearsal!" (this was a very informal wedding, the bride was barefoot, we didn't NEED the formality or fuss and a rehearsal just wasn't going to be possible). Heather, one possible solution is to get a ceiling fan installed in her room and your room - I know it sounds bizarre, but a ceiling fan will move hot air at the ceiling, back down to the room. husband & I have this in place. We have no central heating but will use a space heater in winter on really cold nights and have often turned on the ceiling fan (low is all you need) to help the space heater warm the room more effectively. I even got easy child 2/difficult child 2 to do this. If all else fails, tell her it's good practice for living in a crypt (she's still Goth, isn't she?) Marg [/QUOTE]
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