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General Parenting
Does seeing a neurologist help any?
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 330375" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>They're not deliberately faking it, either - it's just that ALL of us, as we grow, learn social skills. People with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) are really bad at learning social skills and need to find a different way to learn. But EVERYBODY moves towards "fitting in" in whatever way we can. it's instinctive. You're in high school, all the other girls are wearing blue headbands and so you pester your mother to buy you a blue headband too. It's more complex than that, but over time we learn which fork to use, how to use a table napkin, how to ask nicely for something, how to greet people. We watch other people and observe their successful interactions and copy their example. We do this without thinking. The autistic person often has to have their attention drawn to this and shown (or modelled) how to do it, but the motivation is always there at some level.</p><p></p><p>But to a large extent, they're still faking it, and often feel like frauds because they know they're 'bunging on' a veneer of civilisation, because it is what society expects. But if they had to stop and analyse (as adults) how they manage to blend in, it would be difficult.</p><p></p><p>Temple Grandin's first book (I think it was her first) was called, "an Anthropologist on Mars" because she feels like an alien observing human behaviour, always the alien but becoming quite an expert in how humans behave.</p><p></p><p>Interestingly, difficult child 1 is also fascinated with animal behaviour, as is Temple Grandin. difficult child 3 too will often ask about various animals, "Why did it do that?"</p><p>He is trying to use animals as a simple model of human behaviour, to understand the link between thought and action. Such knowledge will help his own social skills - I do believe this is why the more high-functioning autistics are often interested in animal behaviour. Bot my boys are remarkable mimics ad they use this to teach themselves to mimic normal human behaviour. It makes people react to them in a more friendly way, and this reinforces such behaviour and they do it all the more.</p><p></p><p>GoingNorth, have you found yourself over the years taking special interest in animal behaviour?</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 330375, member: 1991"] They're not deliberately faking it, either - it's just that ALL of us, as we grow, learn social skills. People with Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) are really bad at learning social skills and need to find a different way to learn. But EVERYBODY moves towards "fitting in" in whatever way we can. it's instinctive. You're in high school, all the other girls are wearing blue headbands and so you pester your mother to buy you a blue headband too. It's more complex than that, but over time we learn which fork to use, how to use a table napkin, how to ask nicely for something, how to greet people. We watch other people and observe their successful interactions and copy their example. We do this without thinking. The autistic person often has to have their attention drawn to this and shown (or modelled) how to do it, but the motivation is always there at some level. But to a large extent, they're still faking it, and often feel like frauds because they know they're 'bunging on' a veneer of civilisation, because it is what society expects. But if they had to stop and analyse (as adults) how they manage to blend in, it would be difficult. Temple Grandin's first book (I think it was her first) was called, "an Anthropologist on Mars" because she feels like an alien observing human behaviour, always the alien but becoming quite an expert in how humans behave. Interestingly, difficult child 1 is also fascinated with animal behaviour, as is Temple Grandin. difficult child 3 too will often ask about various animals, "Why did it do that?" He is trying to use animals as a simple model of human behaviour, to understand the link between thought and action. Such knowledge will help his own social skills - I do believe this is why the more high-functioning autistics are often interested in animal behaviour. Bot my boys are remarkable mimics ad they use this to teach themselves to mimic normal human behaviour. It makes people react to them in a more friendly way, and this reinforces such behaviour and they do it all the more. GoingNorth, have you found yourself over the years taking special interest in animal behaviour? Marg [/QUOTE]
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