Hello I am new and searching for sanity, My son has been difficult from the time he was born. Lots of counseling, he doesn't learn from his mistakes. I kicked him out at 19 because I just could not take it any more. I hear that from so many parents. He stole money from me, stole my car keys and gave them to his friends to steal my car. When it was found they told the truth and the police called me, 'we just want you to know you have a serious problem at home' yes I know. It's sad to be so scared when the phone rings in the middle of the night and feeling relieved your child is in jail because you at least know where his is and you feel he is safer there than on the streets. I tried everything I could afford. He would not cooperate in counseling, tough love just made him more angry. He was in hospital teatment for 3 weeks. Stealing, jail, in treatment for 6 months, back out same ole same ole. Court ordered treatment for 9 months, he walked out with 2 months to go. They called me and said he was to be arrested. I found him and he said I thought I could leave. 2 more months added. He started out gifted and at 16 I drove him and sat in the car to make sure he didn't leave while he took the GEDs. He was finally getting better about 3 years ago and my daughter and I discussed how much more responsible he was acting. He actually took a year long auto program and had an agreement for a job the day he finished the program with the understanding that he would work for the owner for 2 years. 2 weeks after starting the job he walked out - he had met the girl of his dreams and they were moving and going to college together. For the first year they were together things were going OK they were both in college (he is on deans list) and working at part time jobs- I had never met her or talked to her. He called me last January and they were going to a concert in another state and wanted to visit on the way back. I haven't seen him in 2 years and I was so looking forward to the visit. For the last 2 years I had actually looked forward to his calls, I was so happy! When they drove up the car (hers) looked like something a 12 yo would decorate with all of the stickers. They get out of the car and she has purple and pink hair, piercings all over her face and black lipstick and nail polish. She is 36 years old!!! She has her own dog grooming business, so OK! The entire 2 days she argued with someone on the phone constantly. We were going out to eat and she got a phone call and started screaming 'stop the ca,r stop the car'. My husband was driving (we have been married 12 years) and pulled over, she gets out of the car and argues more on the phone. Her mother just has been told she needs (the mother) a second surgery for breast cancer. They have had mix ups with the hotel and are short of money so I give them $50 to get back home. My husband says she was just so emotional over the news of the surgery. If that was the case why did they stop over at a friends instead of going home to be with the mother??? My mother's intuition was thinking very bad things are coming. A few months after the visit she starts sending me emails complaining about my son and asking for money. I just ignore them. Then in August she calls and is screaming at me and I really can't understand what she is saying. I'm in a store so I tell her I can't hear and can't talk and hang up. When I get in my car and check I have 9 messages from her and some are very nasty. I get home and tell my husband about the calls and later check emails and she has sent me 3 of the nastiest emails so I just block her. I call my son to see what is going on, have to leave a message and he doesn't call be back. They have had a fight. In August he left me a message that she was a psycho and has broken his glasses and smashed his phone and kicked him out - they were finished. I had no way to get in touch with him and didn't hear from him for months. Thenhe started sending me messages that he was homeless but still on the deans list and the professors knew of his situation and respected him for trying so hard. Then n November he started asking for money, and more money and more money. I sent him money in December and sent him $300 for Christmas and 4 days later he wanted $50 to have the phone turned on. What is going on? I can only contact him by email and I tell him a phone is not a necessity and I have my own bills to pay. The very next morning she starts calling at 6AM leaving messages that she has my SSN, bank account, and all of my emails are coming to her. She calls me nasty names and says if my son committs suicide it's my fault and what a horrible other I am and was, after husband and I both ask her to stop calling and she doesn't I call the police. The girl frind tells poice that he is homelss and suicidal and doesn't live there because the mother will not allow it. They have had a fight and he is going to kill himself. The police tell me to get her email address off all of my accounts and gives me the mother's switchboard number to call her. It's all a lie. He still lives there - they fight a lot - they break things and he cuts himself and threatens suicide then goes to a friends house a few doors down. The mother has found a glass tube with stains on it and asks if it is theirs and breaks it. I tell her the next time this happens call the police. I know she will not. Husband says my emails are forwarded to her maybe by a virus. I call and NO this has been manually directed to her and 2 other addresses. My son sent me an email blasting me for making her upset by spamming her and I email him back. Why would I be stupid enough to send her emails with my account info on them?? Someone has changed the password twice on my bank account. They can't take out money only view the transactions. I'm sick over this and I send an email to him telling him I'm turning it over to the police and I will arrest anyone messing with my accounts. I now change my passwords weekly. I can't blame it all on her but they are toxic together and she is a b****. One great thing is that if she had not called me with the ranting I would not have known she was getting copies of my emails since November. I'm sure my son hacked my passwords, but she knew it because they were sent to her starting in November. I was all ready to tell my son before this you have to move back to the city and get a job I can't give you money anymore. I'm really annoyed with ME for falling for the scam. BUT seriously angry with him for scamming me. I do not care what the circumstances the 'bank of retired mother' is closed. He is now 33 and she just turned 37. She has burned all bridges to ever talking to me and he has to clean up his act and apologise in a way I will believe. NOT WORDS, ACTIONS! I'm so dissappointed but positive the drugs are back with all of the drama and the lies. I pray and meditate a lot, but I am turning it over to a higher power, it's out of my hands. For the first time in my life I am putting me and my husband before my son. Mothers are not taught or wired to do that, it's not easy. I am so happy that he does not have children. Have a blessed day everyone!!!!