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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 447785" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well - I think if it had to get to the point where I would HAVE to think - "Yes you are a screw up." ? </p><p></p><p>There wouldn't BE a conversation - because if there were repeated lying and stealing? He wouldn't be LIVING in my home. </p><p></p><p>How do I know this? </p><p></p><p>Because when our son got to the "Oh I am a screw up wha wha wha." point? We sat down with the police and he went to jail and got charged with a felony. </p><p></p><p>When you are taken in handcuffs to adult jail? You don't need dialogue with your parents to know you are a screw up - the judge tells you, and the threat of 30 years in prison pretty much dookies your pants for you and says "WOW did you screw up." </p><p></p><p>Doesn't sound harsh to me at all. After that? We didn't worry about the stealing bit. I can't say that there was never another lie, because I'm a realist. Kids -lie. And as far as hating me? Oh boy - let me count the days. My son called me names that turned my biker fiance pale. And then? We tossed him out for good and wished him well, didn't hear from him oh on and off for about a year and a half. Tough loved the rest of it best we could, and now I get a text or call about every or every other day. Growing up has begun. Whether it will stick is anyone's guess. Point to me is - I grew up. I no longer argue or banter with a child.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 447785, member: 4964"] Well - I think if it had to get to the point where I would HAVE to think - "Yes you are a screw up." ? There wouldn't BE a conversation - because if there were repeated lying and stealing? He wouldn't be LIVING in my home. How do I know this? Because when our son got to the "Oh I am a screw up wha wha wha." point? We sat down with the police and he went to jail and got charged with a felony. When you are taken in handcuffs to adult jail? You don't need dialogue with your parents to know you are a screw up - the judge tells you, and the threat of 30 years in prison pretty much dookies your pants for you and says "WOW did you screw up." Doesn't sound harsh to me at all. After that? We didn't worry about the stealing bit. I can't say that there was never another lie, because I'm a realist. Kids -lie. And as far as hating me? Oh boy - let me count the days. My son called me names that turned my biker fiance pale. And then? We tossed him out for good and wished him well, didn't hear from him oh on and off for about a year and a half. Tough loved the rest of it best we could, and now I get a text or call about every or every other day. Growing up has begun. Whether it will stick is anyone's guess. Point to me is - I grew up. I no longer argue or banter with a child. [/QUOTE]
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