Does This Sound Suspicious to You? Opinions, please...

[DaisyFace]

OK--here's the scenario:

difficult child's birthday is Friday.

difficult child comes home from school yesterday and says she has an English project that she is working on with a group from class. It's due Monday. They won't be finished so they will need to stay after school on Friday to work on it.

Me: What's the project?

difficult child: O we're doing a thing on Romeo and Juliet. We have to read it and answer questions and then maybe do some kind of presentation.

Me: What part won't be finished?

difficult child: O I don't know. We didn't start it yet.

Me: Well, what do you need to do after school?

difficult child: We'll probably start a power-point.

Me: You're going to first start a power point on Friday after school for a project due Monday?

difficult child: No, we'll already have it started. We'll just need to finish it.

.........................

A few more questions went on like this....but you already have the "gist". So--does this sound like a legitimate school project to you or an excuse to stay after school for some other reason?

 

[smallworld]

You could always email the English teacher about the "project" . . .

 

[crazymama30]

My nose smells something fishy, and there's no tuna fish in the house. Let her go, but maybe you or another adult should go with her, or worse, get the names and numbers of the other kids' parents and call them, or call the teacher for whom the "project" is due and see if it is real.

Suspicious? Oh yah.

 

[Marguerite]

"Who else is in your group?"

"How about they all come here after school on Friday? I'll pick you all up in the car, you kids can work in the living room and I'll make big bowls of popcorn for you all while you work."

And also ring the teacher.

I also wouldn't be trusting her to lie straight in bed. It seems to me that she knows that you don't trust her, but she has to get schoolwork done and therefore school can be a handy excuse. Considering how much she has fought in the past to NOT do her schoolwork, having her seeming to be comfortable about staying back outside school hours to do more school work - doesn't wash with me.

I find it fascinating that they haven't even started on it yet, she is very vague about all details except EXACTLY what they will need to do after school on Friday!

Call the teacher. Then turn up early to drive difficult child home afterwards and wait for her, sitting up the back of the classroom with your knitting. If she declares it embarrassing to have you sitting there like a duenna - then that is her problem. Trust once lost has to be re-earned.

Marg

 

[TerryJ2]

Great answers!

 

[AnnieO]

Reminds me strongly of Onyxx who likes to say "a friend" but won't tell us WHO.

Now? Have to know WHO, have their cell # if they have one and the parents HOME number. AND clear it with parents. Parents don't have a land line? OK, we drive there - and go to the door.

Plans have changed many times due to this...

 

[klmno]

Yep- if it was my difficult child and he never cared about this project until a "special" day, it would indicate a definite plan and manipulative tactic.

I think I would either require them to work on the project at our house or I would need to talk to whomever was going to be at the school to see what time, where, etc.

 

[DaisyFace]

Thank you, ladies!

Yes, this was VERY fishy sounding to me....but I wanted some opinions to make sure that I wasn't being overly paranoid.

 

[klmno]

You know, DF, many times I have thought that I must be losing my mind and have just become paranoid due to PTSD with my difficult child.....only to find that he was really sneaking that much and sometimes even more. I think it comes from him playing on how much I care and want to trust him.

 

[gcvmom]

I'd email the teacher to get clarification. Could be they're getting time to start the Powerpoint in class tomorrow and/or Friday. Sounds like they're studying the same stuff my difficult child 1 is (he's a freshman) because they're finishing up R&J now.

by the way, my easy child's birthday is Friday, too!

 

[susiestar]

I agree that this is fishy beyond belief. Why does she care about THIS assignment suddenly? If this is so different that she cares about it when she doesn't care about ANY schoolwork most of the time, well, why can't she tell you what the assignment it? It MUST be very special because she truly does not give a rat's patootie about school if you go by her usual attitudes/behaviors. Also, how can she just "know" that they won't be finished on Fri afternoon? Why not stay after today or tomorrow instead of Fri?

in my opinion it is an excuse to do something else unsupervised. I would show up as school is being dismissed and sit with her while she and the group work. in my opinion you will learn there is no group and no assignment, or at least no assignment that needs her to work with others for several hours on a Friday.

Many hugs. You are NOT paranoid. She really IS this sneaky.

 

[timer lady]

Sounds like plans are being made by difficult child & her "friends". If this is a project that truly needs to be done contact school & ask for the assignment. THEN offer to have difficult children friends at the house to work on the big assignment due. Give them a place to do said assignment.

When my mom smelt fish in the air, she'd do the same; my sibs & I do the same for our kids. Works wonders to rid the air of that fishy smell.

 

[DaisyFace]

A quick update:

difficult child came home from school yesterday and immediately wanted to have an answer about staying after school on Friday. I told her that her Dad and I were leaning toward "No".

Well, for a kid who doesn't give a fig about school--she had a pretty strong reaction....VERY upset. I got the "That's not fair!" and the whole nine yards.

And according to the teacher (who keeps her assignments posted online)....yes there is a group project--to be worked on IN CLASS.

 

[Shari]

Oh yeah, if she got ticked off? Really smelly. (insert hand-wringing emoticon here saying "Drat! Foiled again!")

Went thru this with difficult child 1. While easy child 1 had earned and maintained trust, difficult child 1 lost it repeatedly, so, like Step, it was 20 (or more) questions (all verifiable) before he was allowed to do squat.

When I went to visit him this past March, Wee went outside to play and I asked him where he was going and with who, and difficult child 1 hollered from the couch "See? She STILL does it!"

 

[DammitJanet]

Of course its in class! Schools cant expect kids to get together on group projects outside of school when they are young. Heck even older. Most dont drive and parents work these days.

If kids need to work on group projects they do them in school.

 

[AnnieO]

Snicker... That's kinda funny. difficult child dug herself in, huh?