Bean
Member
In reading another thread, this got me thinking:
One of the problems we've had in the past year is that every time my daughter would be in a situation of needing help, the majority of information would come from her.
For example, she went to a state-funded, dual-diagnosis tx center for four months, but we were only scheduled to meet with staff once a month. The majority of her treatment came from what she herself reported.
So I called. I called her social worker, I called and talked to the psychiatrist, I made sure that they also had information from us. Unfortunately, it was two days before she was scheduled to be released that she actually blew up while she was there. She managed nearly 4 months without blowing her stack the way she would routinely here at home. I was so badly hoping that her tantrum while she was in tx would buy her more time there -- course not, though -- she still got out on time.
Worse yet was when she turned 18 and was in a group home. They didn't talk to us at ALL. So all the information they got was what she'd give. And she can tell some doosies. I'm sure she snowed them quite well. I tried to be in contact with them as well, but they said she was 18 and an "adult" so they really just treat her like that.
But that's a whole 'nother rant.
Anyway, I was told to, and would highly advise others the same -- keep a journal, for those of you that have teenagers who are starting to rage or act out. Keep it simple, just enter things like:
Date 1: Freak out - smashed fist through window
Date 2: Ran away for a day
Date 3: Skipped school
Date 4: Came home high/drunk
Date 5: Physically threatened sibling
And just keep adding to it. And share it freely with staff that needs to work with your child. Video taping, or audio is a good idea, too. We've taped our daughter and re-played it to her, and she was quite embarrassed.
Some people, bless their hearts, are completely receptive to a parent's input and want that additional information because it is beneficial to the tx they provide. And some don't care.
Step-son may have snowed everyone else well enough that you are not believed and are even accused of victimizing him. Many abusers are very clever at hiding their behavior from well-meaning people. We believe you. You are not crazy. If necessary you may need to set up cameras in the home to tape him in action. Hopefully not but you must do whatever it takes to keep yourself and any other children safe from him.
One of the problems we've had in the past year is that every time my daughter would be in a situation of needing help, the majority of information would come from her.
For example, she went to a state-funded, dual-diagnosis tx center for four months, but we were only scheduled to meet with staff once a month. The majority of her treatment came from what she herself reported.
So I called. I called her social worker, I called and talked to the psychiatrist, I made sure that they also had information from us. Unfortunately, it was two days before she was scheduled to be released that she actually blew up while she was there. She managed nearly 4 months without blowing her stack the way she would routinely here at home. I was so badly hoping that her tantrum while she was in tx would buy her more time there -- course not, though -- she still got out on time.
Worse yet was when she turned 18 and was in a group home. They didn't talk to us at ALL. So all the information they got was what she'd give. And she can tell some doosies. I'm sure she snowed them quite well. I tried to be in contact with them as well, but they said she was 18 and an "adult" so they really just treat her like that.
But that's a whole 'nother rant.
Anyway, I was told to, and would highly advise others the same -- keep a journal, for those of you that have teenagers who are starting to rage or act out. Keep it simple, just enter things like:
Date 1: Freak out - smashed fist through window
Date 2: Ran away for a day
Date 3: Skipped school
Date 4: Came home high/drunk
Date 5: Physically threatened sibling
And just keep adding to it. And share it freely with staff that needs to work with your child. Video taping, or audio is a good idea, too. We've taped our daughter and re-played it to her, and she was quite embarrassed.
Some people, bless their hearts, are completely receptive to a parent's input and want that additional information because it is beneficial to the tx they provide. And some don't care.
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