Doing a trial with difficult child

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by busywend, Aug 28, 2007.

  1. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Stepmom and biodad are frustrated with difficult child. been there done that, huh? They need a break and difficult child has been begging to stay only at my house except for the every other weekend thing. We are trying it for 2 weeks. difficult child will be with me every night. I am excited and nervous.

    I am excited because it is they way it is supposed to be. My baby girl should live with me (haha - she is 16 now!).
    I am nervous, because she is a bear still. She is a teen afterall. I do have some PTSD from the past 6 or 7 years. She can be really moody, but I react much differently to it now.
    Also, she is 'fine' with boyfriend being there now and then. He even spends the night sometimes when she is there (I think three times!). After almost 5 years of dating - 'bout time, huh?!

    So, wish me luck. I am a mixture of feelings and emotions about this.

    :nonono: :smile:
    Somewhere in between these is where I hope we end up! LOL!
  2. Janna

    Janna New Member


    I can sort of relate to your feelings of anxiety with a reunification. Although she was still partially with you, it wasn't full time, and now it is.

    I think you're going to be just fine. You always have great advice here. You know what you're doing :smile:

    I'm keeping positive thoughts for you and a big glass of wine just in case :smile:

  3. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I hope it works out for you & difficult child. Have you two sat down and figured out the day-to-day stuff since she'll be full time: homework, dishes, laundry, etc?
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    I love a full house. I want all my beds to have someone sleeping in. sigh.
    hope you enjoy her. you have had some time to regroup and also are a much wiser woman now!
  5. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Fingers crossed!
  6. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Hope it goes well. It can be so scary when things change.


    PS. ant'smom if you need a bed filled I could use a vacation.
  7. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Good luck!
  8. AllStressedOut

    AllStressedOut New Member

    When I first read your post, I thought you meant difficult children boyfriend was spending the night 2-3 nights a week. I'm sooo blonde! Sorry, I confuse easily. You have to use small words and speak slowly, I guess that means I have to read slowly huh? LOL

    Enjoy the time with her!
  9. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    Good luck Wend. Does she not see her effect on people? I know my difficult child sort of misses the boat. He doesn't see that if every school says "no thanks" that maybe he might want to change how he is handling things.
    Does she recognize that she is making it uncomfortable to live with her?

    Teens are a challenge. I hope that you find her willing to work through being a teen with you so that the relationship is healthy.
  10. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Keeping fingers crossed and saying a prayer all goes well!
  11. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Allstressedout - no way would HER boyfriend stay her overnight. Just to clarify, my boyfriend of almost 5 years has only stayed over 2-3 times when difficult child was here - that is in almost 5 years.

    Thanks everyone!

    Fran, no she can not see how she affects people and/or the household. She can be downright mean to her little brothers at times (well only one of them). But, other times she is the best sister ever.
    Her mood swings and nastiness are pretty consistent to her PMS, too.

    Today I took her to her 2nd Gyn appointment. She is not active (I believe it for now) but I wanted her to know who to contact, where to go, to get used to talking to the doctor, be able to ask the questions and most importantly I wanted the doctor to talk to her about the HPV vaccine.
    She started asking questions on the way in the car. When I finally revealed just exactly which doctor we were going to (I had not lied at all) she started to flip out. I just stayed calm as I knew it was coming. She told me I lied. I told her I just never mentioned it for just this very reason. I knew I would not get you in the car if you knew. Can you blame me?

    She calmed down! It was amazing to watch. She filled out the papers in the waiting room (she checked 'not active') and went in before me. I had an appointment, too.
    She came out telling me all about the HPV and what we had to do next!

    I want to know the mojo the doctor used on her! :hypnosis:

    So far, so good. Keep those fingers crossed!