I felt so good today because I have made it for three weeks without feeling really bad about no contact with my daughter, I have seen my grandson but I go through her boyfriends dad (where she is currently living with my 3 year old grandson) I got a text today that Im sure was her but from his phone that said my grandson has been talking about me and would like to see me, which has always been how she gets me to pick him up so she can have a break!! From what I don't know, because she is still doing nothing but sitting on her butt and watching her child. My first reaction was to cave in and go get him even though I had plans, but I said no, and that I would pick him up on Friday after work. Then her two older boys came by my house and were kinda telling me how fed up they are with her, she calls them for money and cigarettes, her oldest helped her get a computer and said she doesn't even do anything on it that could help her, and the 17 year old said yeah just wait till she stops getting my child support money (which she has always used for her own needs, never his) Once again I thought wow they are starting to understand and it made me feel good. Then a few hours later my mood plummeted because I started thinking....What if she starts feeling everyone is against her and she takes the suicide route!! She has become such a recluse, never goes anywhere and gets very uncomfortable when she goes out in public, but she still keeps the chip on her shoulder where Im concerned, She still talks to her sister some,but Im still the evil mom that wont take her in. I want her to hit bottom hoping she finally tries to get her life together, but in the back of my mind the thought of her taking her life over all of this makes me wonder How I could live with myself!!1 I get so confused!!!!