N
Nomad
Guest
Things are much the same here...but I'm feeling frustrated and in need of some support.
I/we had several weeks of weird difficult child related "stuff" and I had two or three unusual for me days of severe STRESS. I have migraines and autoimmune issues (Lupus/Sjogren's Syndrome) and stress takes its toll on me in a major way. My blood pressure is also an issue...been a bad year or two health wise, in general. Fortunately, I can say that I have largely detached and I don't have days like this nearly as much anymore.
As I have mentioned before, difficult child moves, on average, every six weeks. She has been in and out of apartments for perhaps four years (since she first moved out of the home). Either she gets evicted or she evicts herself. She is constantly out of money, she is constantly in a state of emergency, she constantly wrecks things like her microwave or doesn't have clothing, because she forgets to pack her clothes when she moves...
About two months ago, she went on a rampage, because someone in her building passed away and the police came and there was yellow tape around the place. I was unsure if she was using this as an excuse to move OR WHAT! She said the guy was murdered. We called the police and explained that difficult child has a mental illness diagnosis and is unwell and asked if they would tell us if the man was murdered or died of unnatural causes. They were understanding and assured us that it was natural causes. We had agreed to loan her deposit money for a new apartment if, in fact, the man was murdered; since we felt she might be living in a dangerous area. BUT, when I found out that he simply died of natural causes, I told difficult child that I would NOT give her any money. This is a fact of life and she needed to get OVER IT!
But, of course, she did not listen. She left without her stuff and stayed with a friend for two weeks. The apartment manager was nice enough to store her stuff in a closet or something, but said would only do so for a week or two. She borrowed $100 from husband, who made her promise that if she moved or even talked about moving again before Christmas then she would NOT got with us to a family get together out of the city for Christmas.
She moved downtown to some horrible hole in the wall. Then, against our wishes, she got a dog. Then, she got warnings that she would be kicked out of this new place because the dog was crying night and day and bothering people. She had only been in the new place for about a week when this happened! Then she panicked and got paranoid that everyone hated her and said she wanted to move out (thereby breaking the Christmas agreement with husband). I was a little conflicted, as she didn't join us for Christmas last year. I think husband was secretly thrilled!!! Thoughts on this?????????????????????????????????? (by the way, all of this was for nothing, as she had a perfectly fine place...it is just that someone died in the bldg.!)
Then, she left that place...then all sorts of weird confusion back and forth, much turmoil, lots of false starts, COUCH HOPING, STRESS, and now she is in the mother in laws quarters of a home relatively close to our home. She has stayed at this home once before. We think they (the owners) have money problems. The funny thing is they have TWO difficult child KIDS OF THEIR OWN, but they wont have anything to do with them. We think the owners of the home think she is better than their difficult child kids as other than an occasional drink (which shows up on her big time, since it does NOT mix well with her medications), she doesn't do drugs. However, she is majorly difficult child! Maybe they like the fact that the know they will get paid since husband is the designated payee on her disability checks.
All she has left to her name is a mattress, a few clothing items and a hot plate. She says someone stored her microwave for her, but there was food in it and it smelled so bad, she threw it away. What irks me to no end is when I asked her who was responsible for cleaning the food out before it was stored, she doesn't answer. And she omplies that it is no ones fault that the food was in it and it had to be thrown away. WTH?
I told her that I have given her about four or five microwaves in the last several years and she says I have only given her one or two. (I give them to her as b-day gifts...or I buy them very cheaply from garage sales. She has no memory of us getting them for her repeatedly). We have also gotten her about two mini refrigerators. Have no idea what happened to them. This time, she will have to buy her own frig and microwave.
We have offered to get her a social worker, but she says she will kill herself if one shows up at the door and she will not keep any appointments with one. I have thought of bribing her with a microwave and mini frig. if she would allow one to come periodically to help her, but I sense that unless she personally buys into the help...it is a waste of time and money.
As a side note; generally speaking difficult child is likable...but often has trouble living with folks. She refuses to clean up after herself and makes horrible decisions and has horrible mood swings, etc.
I just needed a little vent; thanks for listening (reading).
It's as if she is a vagabond and no matter what we do, she is perfectly happy living this way. It is so sad...but I move on.
I/we had several weeks of weird difficult child related "stuff" and I had two or three unusual for me days of severe STRESS. I have migraines and autoimmune issues (Lupus/Sjogren's Syndrome) and stress takes its toll on me in a major way. My blood pressure is also an issue...been a bad year or two health wise, in general. Fortunately, I can say that I have largely detached and I don't have days like this nearly as much anymore.
As I have mentioned before, difficult child moves, on average, every six weeks. She has been in and out of apartments for perhaps four years (since she first moved out of the home). Either she gets evicted or she evicts herself. She is constantly out of money, she is constantly in a state of emergency, she constantly wrecks things like her microwave or doesn't have clothing, because she forgets to pack her clothes when she moves...
About two months ago, she went on a rampage, because someone in her building passed away and the police came and there was yellow tape around the place. I was unsure if she was using this as an excuse to move OR WHAT! She said the guy was murdered. We called the police and explained that difficult child has a mental illness diagnosis and is unwell and asked if they would tell us if the man was murdered or died of unnatural causes. They were understanding and assured us that it was natural causes. We had agreed to loan her deposit money for a new apartment if, in fact, the man was murdered; since we felt she might be living in a dangerous area. BUT, when I found out that he simply died of natural causes, I told difficult child that I would NOT give her any money. This is a fact of life and she needed to get OVER IT!
But, of course, she did not listen. She left without her stuff and stayed with a friend for two weeks. The apartment manager was nice enough to store her stuff in a closet or something, but said would only do so for a week or two. She borrowed $100 from husband, who made her promise that if she moved or even talked about moving again before Christmas then she would NOT got with us to a family get together out of the city for Christmas.
She moved downtown to some horrible hole in the wall. Then, against our wishes, she got a dog. Then, she got warnings that she would be kicked out of this new place because the dog was crying night and day and bothering people. She had only been in the new place for about a week when this happened! Then she panicked and got paranoid that everyone hated her and said she wanted to move out (thereby breaking the Christmas agreement with husband). I was a little conflicted, as she didn't join us for Christmas last year. I think husband was secretly thrilled!!! Thoughts on this?????????????????????????????????? (by the way, all of this was for nothing, as she had a perfectly fine place...it is just that someone died in the bldg.!)
Then, she left that place...then all sorts of weird confusion back and forth, much turmoil, lots of false starts, COUCH HOPING, STRESS, and now she is in the mother in laws quarters of a home relatively close to our home. She has stayed at this home once before. We think they (the owners) have money problems. The funny thing is they have TWO difficult child KIDS OF THEIR OWN, but they wont have anything to do with them. We think the owners of the home think she is better than their difficult child kids as other than an occasional drink (which shows up on her big time, since it does NOT mix well with her medications), she doesn't do drugs. However, she is majorly difficult child! Maybe they like the fact that the know they will get paid since husband is the designated payee on her disability checks.
All she has left to her name is a mattress, a few clothing items and a hot plate. She says someone stored her microwave for her, but there was food in it and it smelled so bad, she threw it away. What irks me to no end is when I asked her who was responsible for cleaning the food out before it was stored, she doesn't answer. And she omplies that it is no ones fault that the food was in it and it had to be thrown away. WTH?
I told her that I have given her about four or five microwaves in the last several years and she says I have only given her one or two. (I give them to her as b-day gifts...or I buy them very cheaply from garage sales. She has no memory of us getting them for her repeatedly). We have also gotten her about two mini refrigerators. Have no idea what happened to them. This time, she will have to buy her own frig and microwave.
We have offered to get her a social worker, but she says she will kill herself if one shows up at the door and she will not keep any appointments with one. I have thought of bribing her with a microwave and mini frig. if she would allow one to come periodically to help her, but I sense that unless she personally buys into the help...it is a waste of time and money.
As a side note; generally speaking difficult child is likable...but often has trouble living with folks. She refuses to clean up after herself and makes horrible decisions and has horrible mood swings, etc.
I just needed a little vent; thanks for listening (reading).
It's as if she is a vagabond and no matter what we do, she is perfectly happy living this way. It is so sad...but I move on.
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