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Parent Emeritus
Done, so why do I feel worse?
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<blockquote data-quote="DDD" data-source="post: 462333" data-attributes="member: 35"><p>First, I'm sending caring and supportive hugs your way. That is foremost because you have agonized over your decision and I believe that your choice was not spur of the moment or uncaring. Don't second guess yourself. Living with you he was not making progress. Maybe...just maybe...in the new environment he will. Fingers crossed.</p><p></p><p>As to the "reasons" why his intentions and his actions don't jive? It could be alot of things. I have raised three ADHD kids. My first known as GFGmom on the Board is now in her mid forties. She has developed into a pita of major proportions but...she needed a very structured work environment because she just can't go from A to Z with-o</p><p>alot of structure. My Ex was the one who suggested she work for the State as a CO. I was aghast, quite truthfully, and thought he was nuts. Believe me he is not my cup of tea. on the other hand she functioned adequately because she had very strict rules of behavior at the prison so her ADHD wasn't really allowed to flare. My grandsons are a different version. The older one (now 24) does best with alot of structure too...but due to a bunch of different reasons he thinks like a leader but lives as a follower. The younger one (almost 21) has Asperger's etc. plus the ADHD. He wants a job so badly but misreads situations and ends up "shooting himself in the foot" as he randomly has ideas that do not jive with his capabilities. </p><p></p><p>None of them have Executive Functioning abilities although each is unique. They "want" alot but don't know how to get it. It is a sincere desire followed by almost no action because they can't figure out what action to take. Maybe that is the problem with your son...maybe not. But it is frustrating and painful to have a child that you love who just can't "get their act together". Keep hoping for the best and stay prepared for the worst. Hugs. DDD</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="DDD, post: 462333, member: 35"] First, I'm sending caring and supportive hugs your way. That is foremost because you have agonized over your decision and I believe that your choice was not spur of the moment or uncaring. Don't second guess yourself. Living with you he was not making progress. Maybe...just maybe...in the new environment he will. Fingers crossed. As to the "reasons" why his intentions and his actions don't jive? It could be alot of things. I have raised three ADHD kids. My first known as GFGmom on the Board is now in her mid forties. She has developed into a pita of major proportions but...she needed a very structured work environment because she just can't go from A to Z with-o alot of structure. My Ex was the one who suggested she work for the State as a CO. I was aghast, quite truthfully, and thought he was nuts. Believe me he is not my cup of tea. on the other hand she functioned adequately because she had very strict rules of behavior at the prison so her ADHD wasn't really allowed to flare. My grandsons are a different version. The older one (now 24) does best with alot of structure too...but due to a bunch of different reasons he thinks like a leader but lives as a follower. The younger one (almost 21) has Asperger's etc. plus the ADHD. He wants a job so badly but misreads situations and ends up "shooting himself in the foot" as he randomly has ideas that do not jive with his capabilities. None of them have Executive Functioning abilities although each is unique. They "want" alot but don't know how to get it. It is a sincere desire followed by almost no action because they can't figure out what action to take. Maybe that is the problem with your son...maybe not. But it is frustrating and painful to have a child that you love who just can't "get their act together". Keep hoping for the best and stay prepared for the worst. Hugs. DDD [/QUOTE]
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Done, so why do I feel worse?
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