Don't get comfortable when things are good

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by everywoman, Mar 4, 2007.

  1. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I know that! I had just gotten to the point that I was able to relax a little and this weekend has been a disaster.

    To begin with difficult child is very unhappy in program. He is back to his old manipulation and lying. He is under the infulence of an older guy who is feeding him information that he is taking as the gospel. The director is telling us one thing, difficult child is telling us another. We are looking for another program---but I'm not sure that is the answer.

    PCdaughter and her boyfriend have been at each other for weeks. She broke up with him yesterday when she realized he had relapsed. Last night she was on the phone with me and had pulled up to a gas station to talk about her plans for the night. He pulled up with his exgf. easy child lost it and went into the station and slapped him. He followed her out and words were exchanged. He grabbed her and threw her cell phone. She can be brought up on charges of simple assault. She was wrong! I am not excusing her actions. But...this relationship is toxic. I want her out of it. If I forbid her to see him, I'm afraid of creating a Romeo/Juliet scenerio.

    On top of all that husband has the flu...and there is nothing in the world as needy as a sick male!

    Help! I am powerless in all three situations right now. PCdaughter has not acted like this since she was 14. She is usually mature and together. difficult child was doing so much better...he has always chosen the wrong role models. husband did go to the doctor, but he will be home soon hacking and moaning....Calgon, where are you???
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I hear you Katmom!!! I am in the same boat... the words hectic, chaotic, tornado do not do it justice....

    Hang in there... we are in the flu zone also...
  3. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    {{{katmom}}} Remember to take a little time out for yourself. You need to regenerate so you can face all of this without endless worries.

    easy child needs to figure this out on her own - nothing you say or do and no amount of worry will help her come to that decision.

    You're doing all you can with difficult child right now.

    husband will get better. Maybe a little chicken soup will help?

    Other than that, I love the calgon idea. Hugs -
  4. Sunlight

    Sunlight Active Member

    so, three adults are having troubles. those three need to find answers to their own problems. you can offer husband some comfort, but he cannot take it out on you if he is sick.

    rent a good movie, wrap in a comfy blanket and zone out with husband on the couch.
  5. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Thanks for the support ladies. difficult child just called. We had director take the keys for the truck from him----that seems to be at the center of the issues---and he "doesn't have a way to get to the laudromat." I told him to figure it out on his own. He said, "If I don't do my landry, I can't work this week." I responded, "Well, I will have no extra money, so I guess you will do without if you don't work." There you go!

    easy child just came down to get something to eat. She spoke and was civil. Oh well, not my problem.

    husband has the flu! He is on the way home.
  6. Kathy813

    Kathy813 Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Sorry to hear about your troubles. The flu has hit hard here, too. Many of our students and teachers have had it.

    I went to tutor one of the kids that I work with for a make up session (our regular Thursday time was cancelled due to severe weather) on Friday after school. When I got there, her mom called down from upstairs that their son had a high fever and that she would keep him upstairs away from me.

    I noticed that the my student seemed very lethargic but we proceeded with the session. She complained of the house being very hot while I thought it was comfortable. As the session went on, I noticed that she seemed to be getting flushed so I cut the lesson a little short. I told her mom that I thought she had two sick kids, not one. :ill:

    Sure enough, the mom felt my student's forehead and said it was warm. I think she came down with the flu while I was there!

    I'm keeping my fingers crossed that my flu shot worked!

    Here's hoping that things settle down for you and that your husband feels better quickly.

  7. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    I had my shot also. It's also run rampant here. One of my homebound students called me Thursday to tell me not to come she was sick. She is to call me after the fever has been gone 24 hours. I have the flu shot every year after having the flu every Christmas for 3 years straight. This year, after my bout with pneumonia, I also got that shot.
  8. timer lady

    timer lady Queen of Hearts


    I never become complacent/comfortable when it comes to difficult children or the flu. They will both take you down! :smile:

    Take care of you; the rest of the adults in your family will work this out - or they won't. :wink:
  9. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member


    Sounds like you need some time away! Sorry things with difficult child are rough and easy child too. I hope husband is feeling better soon. Sending good thoughts things start to calm down soon.
  10. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    Time away sounds good, WO, especially if like Linda said "they won't" LOL! calls. At least I have some sanity there---and I teach high school juniors---how sad is that---I find my sanity with a bunch of teenagers!!! I know things will calm down soon, it just seems to all come on you at once, on a weekend when I had nothing to do but relax!
  11. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Oh, no, Kat!
    Well, the flu will pass, hopefully; and easy child will learn from this experience with-her exboyfriend... maybe she's just at that age? I don't know what to say about difficult child and the older guy's influence. Sigh.
    Glad you can go back to school tomorrow.
  12. rejectedmom

    rejectedmom New Member

    Kat i hope things settle down again soon. I am still praying for your difficult child i really want the Residential Treatment Center (RTC) to work. Maybe the director will be able to get through to him. I hope you are sleeping on the couch so husband doesn't give you the flu too. (((HUGS))) _RM
  13. Loris

    Loris New Member

    I hope things calm down soon. You're right, it always seems to hit at once!
  14. Fran

    Fran Former Site Owner

    <span style='font-size: 11pt'>katmom, I'm sorry for that sinking feeling that comes when a difficult child goes back to old behaviors. My difficult child didn't have the ability to sort through what was good information and what was destructive information. He never knew you could cut a class. Never even considered it until someone told him he could. It was all down hill after that. It's not that the person was bad but gave poor advice. difficult child wasn't able to decipher what was in his own best interest.
    I don't have any answers but I think reminding him of the consequences when he doesn't go to work is a good one.
    I'm always hopeful that the next choice, intervention,Dr.,medication, organization will be the "one" thing that will make it all come together for my difficult child. I know you are disappointed that you have to deal with the same old, same old.
    It's unfortunate that easy child daughter is addicted to this relationship. I think it's pretty common in girls to want to keep going back to something that causes them an adrenalin rush. Even if it's self destructive. It's all a matter of degree. How many times does this scenario play out before she realizes it's not in her best interest.
    You do have your hands full. Sorry husband is sick too.
    Hugs. Hope Monday is a bit better. </span>