Don't know if this is a bit Occupational Therapist (OT)....therapy for easy child?

[lovelyboy]

Hi...I feel so stressed today....during the weekend my little easy child (3.5 yr) old told me and his dad that his dad peed on his face! We were both surprised.....Later when I asked my easy child again about this he said he is very upset with his dad, he doesn't like his dad....I spoke to husband about this and said he doesn't know anything about this, it's just child talk, I'm making to big thing of this. But my mothers instinct/ protection instinct kicked in!

easy child told me yesterday his brother peed on his arms and chest in the bath, they are not bathing together any more.

Today I don't know what to do with all this new info....Am I over reacting? Do I need to take my easy child to see a therapist? What if he tells her the same thing? Is there a way that they can assess with acurecy if something wrong happened? I can't risk my hasband being accused of such a thing? He loves this little boy with his whole heart....his face shines of joy when he sees him! He is always a loving, caring, responsible father. My little easy child also sometimes say stuff like the dog peed on his face, he will poo on my head...ect.

I'm also worried for my easy child mental wellbeing, he has been taking plenty of stress with his older brother's, minipulative, aggressive behavior towards us and him...It seems as if he is afraid of his brother. Sometimes when we are fighting with his brother he tries to protect his brother...telling him that everything is allright...this is so sad!

Am I to into this therapy thing...seing things that's normal as potential problems!

 

[HaoZi]

Sometimes we do get so used to issues that we lose sight of what is "normal" for kids. I don't have boys or the issue of sibling rivalry to deal with, so I'm not sure about the rest of your questions, but family and individual therapy for help dealing with a difficult child is pretty common.

 

[Allan-Matlem]

hi,

you know your husband , it would take quite a pevert and disturbed person to act in the way your 3.5 is describing

what I think 3.5 yo is saying - my dad did or I feel uncomfortable around him and it feels like being pee'ed in the face. it seems he is using this description of things in different circumstances

I don't think you need therapy but you can try and collaborate with him to get to the bottom of things. i would not talk about the words he is using , but rather start out with yes/no questions about his interactions between him and you/dad/brother - does he like , then expand to what do you like /dislike , can you tell me more etc - how things should play out when he feels understood is to say and that feels like somebody peeing your face . My gut feeling is not to go as far as mentioning the words but trying to then problem solve and address his concerns I think you should encourage husband to have more one on one time with 3.5 without you around - fun time connecting. Also important to relax the atmosphere at home and deal with problems not in the moment so there is less conflict.

Allan

 

[confuzzled]

in hindsight, my biggest mistake was NOT taking seriously the impact having a disabled sibling has on another family member, kids included.

i'm not totally sold that a 3.5 year old would benefit from long term "therapy" (just my opinion, many people think otherwise) but i do know, if i did it over again, i'd at the very least find a sibshop or some other outlet in which the easy child can vent stress without judgement and be able to talk about whats bothering THEM....kids handle stress in different ways than adults, and having even a slight difficult child can really affect another child.

(i too dont think i'd be necessarily alarmed at the choice of words because real communication is only starting to emerge, but i completely understand your perspective of how a professional might interpret them)

 

[InsaneCdn]

If you're working with a good therapist for difficult child, that person should be able to make time available to you, to discuss the impacts difficult child has on others and how to help the others cope. Not necessarily direct therapy for the easy child - but some sort of perspective?

 

[keista]

At 3.5 I don't think therapy would be anymore helpful than long chats with you. However, I do think it is a great idea for when he's older. Dealing with general stress in the family is, well, stressful on EVERYONE, and talking to an outsider can bring a lot of relief.

Now, as far as the pee-ing thing. Since he is only 3.5 I'm thinking there might be some language confusion going on. Does anyone in the house often used the expression "Pi***ed Off"? If so, then the ppe-ing on could be his version of getting "Pi***ed Off" I'd be asking what happened before and after these incidences. How he felt, what he did after he got pee-d on.

It could also be a general curiosity about pee-ing, and he could be 'fishing' for information from you as to if such things are appropriate, or acceptable. At 5 my son peed between the wall and the headboard. When I asked him why he did it, he simply stated that he was curious as to what would happen and what it would look like. He was a bit older, but he was language delayed and has Asperger's.

Ask him as many 3.5 y/o appropriate questions you can WITHOUT leading (in other words try not to put ideas in his head).

 

[DammitJanet]

The ages between 3 and 4 are when kids start getting into the potty language and seeing if they can get a reaction with it. This is when you will hear stuff like poopy head and pee pee stuff. My granddaughter loved to joke that she farted even if it was just a noise. She STILL loves all the bathroom talk...lol. I just roll my eyes at her. We told her boys fart and girls poot. LMAO. This age child can be so funny in what they say.

Now whether on not something really happened...ehhh, hard to say. I would really doubt your husband would start doing this on a second child if he didnt do it on the first. Maybe water fell off him in the rain and landed on the child and he took it as peeing. Who knows. Or even swimming.