Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
don't know what more to do !
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 95734" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am so sorry things are so bad for y'all. I really think that if you can take a bit of time to recharge your batteries you may feel better able to cope.</p><p></p><p>I know it is a cliche now, but it really does take a village to raise a child. I know it is HARD to ask for help, but it sounds like you are doing it.</p><p></p><p>Getting past the resentment is tough. You feel he is doing these things on purpose. Some he may be, mostly he is having a very tough time.</p><p></p><p>If he hits you or the baby HOSPITALIZE HIM. Take him to the ER and insist on an admission. REFUSE to leave with him. He cannot be allowed to hurt anyone. If you think of it as preventing him from years of guilt it is easier to handle (it is then a PROACTIVE decision and not a REACTIVE decision). </p><p></p><p>My difficult child has caused permanent damage to my hand. It was while he was very unstable and violent. We were trying to get his stuff ready to go to the psychiatric hospital. This was several YEARS ago. He now feels a huge amount of guilt (NONE that I put on him, it is HIS reaction). While he does not live with us, we see him very frequently. He often takes my hand and rubs it, even gives it a kiss if it very painful.</p><p></p><p>I would do ANYTHING to keep him from having this guilt over his actions. I wish I was able to prevent the attack (he attacked me) partly because the hand hurts, but mostly because it is a very heavy burden for a child to carry. My son was 11 when he did this, he will be 16 in 2 weeks. LONG time already. We ARE working with him to get him to see he should NOT feel guilty. He was ill, it is over, and I bear no grudge or hard feelings. I love him wiht all my heart.</p><p></p><p>Push for the neuro exam. When you see the neuro INSIST on a sleep deprived EEG _ test for seizures. My daughter was "diagnosed" with ADHD and depression (she really has PTSD and seizures) and the medications made her much worse. It has taken over a YEAR to get her seizures controlled, and it has not been easy. If I hadn't known to INSIST on a neuro exam and EEG we would not have know.</p><p></p><p>Even the neuro did NOT think the test would find anything. He is AWESOME, and he was the first to sayshe was misdxed. </p><p></p><p>It is difficult to change your parenting style, but often our kids do best when we are the least reactive to their behaviors NOT to ignore them, but to be calm about them.</p><p></p><p>I have given you this suggestion before, but PLEASE go to <a href="http://www.loveandlogic.com" target="_blank">http://www.loveandlogic.com</a> and LISTEN to the audios. The seminars are AMAZING and WELL worth the time and cost (the one I went to was less costly than a doctor visit and helped MUCH more). The love and logic institute even has a book about using love and logic with kids with special needs.</p><p></p><p>Sending hugs, and PROUD of you for continueing to fight for your child. If you want to talk about any of the love and logic stuff, or other stuff (including living with a violent child) feel free to PM me. (put the cursor on my name on the left side next to my post and click to send a private message). I will be happy to help any way I can, including going through our ordeal with a violent child and 2 others to protect.</p><p></p><p>Hugs,</p><p></p><p>Susie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 95734, member: 1233"] I am so sorry things are so bad for y'all. I really think that if you can take a bit of time to recharge your batteries you may feel better able to cope. I know it is a cliche now, but it really does take a village to raise a child. I know it is HARD to ask for help, but it sounds like you are doing it. Getting past the resentment is tough. You feel he is doing these things on purpose. Some he may be, mostly he is having a very tough time. If he hits you or the baby HOSPITALIZE HIM. Take him to the ER and insist on an admission. REFUSE to leave with him. He cannot be allowed to hurt anyone. If you think of it as preventing him from years of guilt it is easier to handle (it is then a PROACTIVE decision and not a REACTIVE decision). My difficult child has caused permanent damage to my hand. It was while he was very unstable and violent. We were trying to get his stuff ready to go to the psychiatric hospital. This was several YEARS ago. He now feels a huge amount of guilt (NONE that I put on him, it is HIS reaction). While he does not live with us, we see him very frequently. He often takes my hand and rubs it, even gives it a kiss if it very painful. I would do ANYTHING to keep him from having this guilt over his actions. I wish I was able to prevent the attack (he attacked me) partly because the hand hurts, but mostly because it is a very heavy burden for a child to carry. My son was 11 when he did this, he will be 16 in 2 weeks. LONG time already. We ARE working with him to get him to see he should NOT feel guilty. He was ill, it is over, and I bear no grudge or hard feelings. I love him wiht all my heart. Push for the neuro exam. When you see the neuro INSIST on a sleep deprived EEG _ test for seizures. My daughter was "diagnosed" with ADHD and depression (she really has PTSD and seizures) and the medications made her much worse. It has taken over a YEAR to get her seizures controlled, and it has not been easy. If I hadn't known to INSIST on a neuro exam and EEG we would not have know. Even the neuro did NOT think the test would find anything. He is AWESOME, and he was the first to sayshe was misdxed. It is difficult to change your parenting style, but often our kids do best when we are the least reactive to their behaviors NOT to ignore them, but to be calm about them. I have given you this suggestion before, but PLEASE go to [url="http://www.loveandlogic.com"]http://www.loveandlogic.com[/url] and LISTEN to the audios. The seminars are AMAZING and WELL worth the time and cost (the one I went to was less costly than a doctor visit and helped MUCH more). The love and logic institute even has a book about using love and logic with kids with special needs. Sending hugs, and PROUD of you for continueing to fight for your child. If you want to talk about any of the love and logic stuff, or other stuff (including living with a violent child) feel free to PM me. (put the cursor on my name on the left side next to my post and click to send a private message). I will be happy to help any way I can, including going through our ordeal with a violent child and 2 others to protect. Hugs, Susie [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
don't know what more to do !
Top