Don't know what to do?

[robin5kids]

Hi! I am new here. i started looking up forums for spirited children and finally found this one.

I have 5 kids. My now 12 y/o has been a spirited children from the time he was about 3 y/o. We started noticing when he was 3 and 4 that he was having very long tantrums, over the smallest things. The tantrums continued for years. He could throw a tantrum over such silly things. Now he is 12 and still can cry at the drop of a hat.

Here are the things we have had to deal with:
1. Can be happy one minute and angry and sad the next second.
2. Still can cry like a baby over anything!
3. Has few friends
4. Gets frustrated about anything he does not want to do or can't do well.
5. Attacks siblings whenever they say or do anything he does like.
6. Can debate and argue about anything he feels is not fair till he is blue in the face.
7. When he is in a bad mood, he can't disengage and leave. He will follow us around and yell, call us names.
8. needs to be hugged at least 3-5 times before he goes to bed.

Good things about him:
He likes to go to sleep over camps and to his friend's house for sleepovers. When he is in a good mood, he is great company. He is great at many outdoor sports, like skateboarding, hiking, climbing, kayaking.

We just don't know what to do at home. He has not been a problem at school or at outside things, but recently he is starting to become a problem. He has started to cry and throw tantrums outside the house. During a swim practice I was watching, I saw he was arguing in the pool with another boy.

We have started seeing a therapist, but i just don't see how this is going to change things. I don't like medications, but I am starting to think he needs them.

Suggestions? Help?
Robin

 

[BusynMember]

I would take him to a neuropsychologist, not just a therapist. They are not good diagnosticians. It is hard for us to tell you what to do when we don't know if he has a disorder or mental illness of some sort because usually these special kids need to be treated in different ways.

Also, how was his early development and how does he relate to his same age peers now? Can he make good eye contact with strangers? Does he have an odd quirks or obsessions? How are his grades? Does he have or DID he have any sensitivity to loud noise, bright lights, textures of clothing, certain foods, crowds? Does he overly worry or have many odd fears or irrational fears?

At his age, he should be able to be frustrated without crying which makes me think that he should have a workup to see what's really going on.

Are there are psychiatric or neurological or substance abuse problems on either side of his genetic family tree? Remember, even if dad isn't around, your son carries 50% of his genes. I'd want to find out exactly what is going on (if you can) before he hits the terrible teens. That's NOT a good time to try to help your kid. Often they refuse any help at that time and can turn to drugs.

Whatever you decide to do, welcome to the board

 

[robin5kids]

Well dad and I are married and dealing with this together.
There is no drug abuse/ use history. Ds developed at a normal rate. He does have learning disabilities and he does have a sensitivity to noises, (Though not when he is screaming at me.) He likes all food. He did wet his bed, up to about 6 months ago when he started to out grow it.

Part of me thinks that he is a very sensitive boy that has a very low self esteem and there for acts out. Part of me just needs to have ways to deal with his outbursts, so i don't get sucked in.

The part of me thinks, (when he is having a full blown "attack".) that he needs to be sent away, or at least put on medications.