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<blockquote data-quote="AnnieO" data-source="post: 405676" data-attributes="member: 6705"><p>Zeph - Welcome! As many people have said, and many will - I am glad you found us - but still - sorry you had to.</p><p> </p><p>First off, please, please - do not blame yourself. It is not your failure. I'm seeing that you are trying very hard.</p><p> </p><p>I don't know how the laws are written in England. Heck, I'm not sure I understand the ones here! You say your son barely sees his father - and I know this is hard - but is the visitation court ordered? And... Did his behavor change suddenly, or was it always there? Because if X's new wife is trying to get difficult child out of the picture, you never know what she might do. I'm a stepmother myself, and though I love my two, sometimes I just wish they'd go stay at their mom's for a while. And then I feel bad, because we have custody for good reason. And if your X was abusive to <em>you</em>...</p><p> </p><p>Has difficult child ever had a full evaluation? You said that you haven't taken him to the doctors. That would be a good place to start. I don't know if they call them neuropsychs there... But I do know we found out some things about my stepson, Jett, that we needed to know. </p><p> </p><p>What about any kind of counseling? Honestly, an "amicable" divorce is hard on kids (well, the adults, too). So anything with any ugliness takes its toll. The stories he comes up with sound like what he wishes life was like. This isn't terribly uncommon.</p><p> </p><p>When I first joined the board, I was ready to throw in the towel. I'm still frustrated, but I have a lot of people here who back me up, jump down my throat when I need it, and generally just love me. You'll find that too. Few of us have met in real life, but that doesn't matter. Anyway, if you can get hold of a copy of the book "The Explosive Child" by Dr. Ross Greene, you will find it eye-opening. Not all of the approaches work for all of our children, and some only work part of the time, but the information in it is invaluable.</p><p> </p><p>{{{{{HUGS}}}}} Welcome to our family!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="AnnieO, post: 405676, member: 6705"] Zeph - Welcome! As many people have said, and many will - I am glad you found us - but still - sorry you had to. First off, please, please - do not blame yourself. It is not your failure. I'm seeing that you are trying very hard. I don't know how the laws are written in England. Heck, I'm not sure I understand the ones here! You say your son barely sees his father - and I know this is hard - but is the visitation court ordered? And... Did his behavor change suddenly, or was it always there? Because if X's new wife is trying to get difficult child out of the picture, you never know what she might do. I'm a stepmother myself, and though I love my two, sometimes I just wish they'd go stay at their mom's for a while. And then I feel bad, because we have custody for good reason. And if your X was abusive to [I]you[/I]... Has difficult child ever had a full evaluation? You said that you haven't taken him to the doctors. That would be a good place to start. I don't know if they call them neuropsychs there... But I do know we found out some things about my stepson, Jett, that we needed to know. What about any kind of counseling? Honestly, an "amicable" divorce is hard on kids (well, the adults, too). So anything with any ugliness takes its toll. The stories he comes up with sound like what he wishes life was like. This isn't terribly uncommon. When I first joined the board, I was ready to throw in the towel. I'm still frustrated, but I have a lot of people here who back me up, jump down my throat when I need it, and generally just love me. You'll find that too. Few of us have met in real life, but that doesn't matter. Anyway, if you can get hold of a copy of the book "The Explosive Child" by Dr. Ross Greene, you will find it eye-opening. Not all of the approaches work for all of our children, and some only work part of the time, but the information in it is invaluable. {{{{{HUGS}}}}} Welcome to our family! [/QUOTE]
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