Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Don't really know where to go from here...I'd love some advise!! (And I'm going to just vent)
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="helpangel" data-source="post: 619214" data-attributes="member: 7170"><p>So glad you found this soft place to land, the other parents here... I honestly don't think I would have survived without them. First and foremost you and husband MUST get on the same page of how you are going to handle these things and when disagree take it out of earshot of the kids. </p><p></p><p>Many parenting classes etc. here but what helped most was rewarding good behavior and ignoring the bad behavior. I would do a chore chart for all the kids (age appropriate for each one what responsible for) and put star or mark when each chore done then at end of week, reward everyone who complied with what I asked 75% of the time. The "good" kids see all the attention the misbehaving one is getting and if all 4 decide misbehaving is way to get mom's attention you are really gonna have a problem on your hands.</p><p></p><p>I would also suggest getting a neuropsychologist evaluation done, it might be Asperger's but my guess would be adHd (though none of us can diagnosis thru the internet). It is quite common for a kid with adHd to not have behavior problems at school but to act very ODD at home. </p><p></p><p>They sit in school frustrated having trouble concentrating with the other kids and smells, sounds, bright lights etc. its all they can do to hold it together and not embarrass themselves in front of the other kids. Then they finally get home and there is mom... good old mom, she's safe, no matter how horrible I act she still loves me and they lose it.</p><p></p><p>My youngest use to sit all sweet in school with her smiley face on acting like she understood stuff then would come off the bus fine. Inside the house it was common to burst out in tears throw self into bed declaring I just want to die with covers pulled over her head. Cutting herself became an issue when she was 7yo also.</p><p></p><p>Angel at first was opposite home was user friendly (we had learned to work around her quirks and not set her off) but school she was running them ragged. Use to get calls at work "she bit the principal, flipped the teacher, think she is still in building we can't find her GET HERE NOW" once in a while I could understand but 2-3 times every week!???</p><p></p><p>The behaviorist made it 15 minutes into first appointment with Angel (had 6 hours background with-me ahead) before she called the cops on my kid (slammed her in face with step stool). Felt I had wasted 6 hours of my life trying to work with her after seeing her in action wasn't qualified to train a dog in my opinion much less be anywhere near an explosive kid.</p><p></p><p>To avoid discussing too much in front of child I put together a parent info page that I would hand to new doctors, therapists etc. - one page double spaced easy to read keep it simple some examples but not any more then absolutely necessary. If hand them a 5 page book they won't read it, when it has all the info they would get out of 15 minutes ?ing you in front of kid and it only takes 3 minutes to read they seem to love this. Also you don't get beat up in the parking lot by your angry kid, angry kid ain't gonna want to go back to this therapist again anyway (all you did was talk about everything they did wrong in their whole life) Your words need to be upbeat and telling doctor what strengths are and what the kid is doing right (this is what kid needs to hear most) doctor can read your paper and they know what is going on.</p><p></p><p>School had a different parent input statement that they included as page 3 of her IEP, it was just an easy guide to help teachers know how to work with her, several teachers thanked me for putting it together as they want to teach not get bit or beat on. As with most things on the internet use what you can and discard the rest and welcome to your new online family.</p><p></p><p>Nancy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="helpangel, post: 619214, member: 7170"] So glad you found this soft place to land, the other parents here... I honestly don't think I would have survived without them. First and foremost you and husband MUST get on the same page of how you are going to handle these things and when disagree take it out of earshot of the kids. Many parenting classes etc. here but what helped most was rewarding good behavior and ignoring the bad behavior. I would do a chore chart for all the kids (age appropriate for each one what responsible for) and put star or mark when each chore done then at end of week, reward everyone who complied with what I asked 75% of the time. The "good" kids see all the attention the misbehaving one is getting and if all 4 decide misbehaving is way to get mom's attention you are really gonna have a problem on your hands. I would also suggest getting a neuropsychologist evaluation done, it might be Asperger's but my guess would be adHd (though none of us can diagnosis thru the internet). It is quite common for a kid with adHd to not have behavior problems at school but to act very ODD at home. They sit in school frustrated having trouble concentrating with the other kids and smells, sounds, bright lights etc. its all they can do to hold it together and not embarrass themselves in front of the other kids. Then they finally get home and there is mom... good old mom, she's safe, no matter how horrible I act she still loves me and they lose it. My youngest use to sit all sweet in school with her smiley face on acting like she understood stuff then would come off the bus fine. Inside the house it was common to burst out in tears throw self into bed declaring I just want to die with covers pulled over her head. Cutting herself became an issue when she was 7yo also. Angel at first was opposite home was user friendly (we had learned to work around her quirks and not set her off) but school she was running them ragged. Use to get calls at work "she bit the principal, flipped the teacher, think she is still in building we can't find her GET HERE NOW" once in a while I could understand but 2-3 times every week!??? The behaviorist made it 15 minutes into first appointment with Angel (had 6 hours background with-me ahead) before she called the cops on my kid (slammed her in face with step stool). Felt I had wasted 6 hours of my life trying to work with her after seeing her in action wasn't qualified to train a dog in my opinion much less be anywhere near an explosive kid. To avoid discussing too much in front of child I put together a parent info page that I would hand to new doctors, therapists etc. - one page double spaced easy to read keep it simple some examples but not any more then absolutely necessary. If hand them a 5 page book they won't read it, when it has all the info they would get out of 15 minutes ?ing you in front of kid and it only takes 3 minutes to read they seem to love this. Also you don't get beat up in the parking lot by your angry kid, angry kid ain't gonna want to go back to this therapist again anyway (all you did was talk about everything they did wrong in their whole life) Your words need to be upbeat and telling doctor what strengths are and what the kid is doing right (this is what kid needs to hear most) doctor can read your paper and they know what is going on. School had a different parent input statement that they included as page 3 of her IEP, it was just an easy guide to help teachers know how to work with her, several teachers thanked me for putting it together as they want to teach not get bit or beat on. As with most things on the internet use what you can and discard the rest and welcome to your new online family. Nancy [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
Don't really know where to go from here...I'd love some advise!! (And I'm going to just vent)
Top