So, the last few days there have been a couple threads where I added my 2 cents on staying calm when dealing with a difficult child. I've taught myself to stay calm equally for my benefit as well as my kids'. Turns out I'm an all or nothing type of person. I need to ACTIVELY practice that authoritarian parental BELLOW. The one that gets their attention, but that doesn't push my blood pressure into the stratosphere. DD1 has had a rough week. Seems like it was an adverse reaction to medication, and now that we are starting to cut the suspected culprit down, she seems to be getting stable. Today was her first "good" day in over a week. I've been doing the eggshell tread trying to keep her from snapping (into violence or severe depression), and continued it today "just in case" So, bed time rolls around and she asks for another 1/2 hour. I allow it as long as she is engaged in an activity.. The 1/2 hour passes and I remind her it's time for bed. She starts begging and pleading for more time, and I am firm and say no, it's time for bed. She doesn't move. She says "No" OY! Yes, sweetie, it's time for bed. "you can't make me" I glare at her - no effect. Thoughts are racing wildly through my head. I so just want to lose my temper and start screaming, all the posts I've written about staying calm for me, flash before my eyes. I flip back and forth between the two several times, and then that light bulb lit up over my head - be loud, be strong, be firm. yeah, I can't do that, I start doing that I WILL start to lose it. BUT. what if I do it with just ONE syllable? NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It was a BELLOW. Not as bad as yelling or screaming. Not as gentle as the parental firm deep voice. It was loud, it was strong, it was CONTROLLED. Oh boy! That child got up and ran!!!!!!!! I was so like and since I was and My blood pressure did not go up and I was so proud of myself so to me! I was quite surprised it worked, but at the same time not all that surprised. 10 minutes later she came out, in tears, apologizing for not listening the first time. Oh, the poor kid! We talked it out and I gave her a big hug. And to be on the safe side asked her if that was at all her "trance" state (aka creepy) or if it was her. She told me it was all her. (another huge sigh of relief). So off to bed she goes and Mom learns another valuable lesson. Mom NEEDS to find that middle ground - where I can be firm and authoritarian, but not get myself into a tizzy. I can be calm and gentle, but I must have some "big guns" in my arsenal and I must be able to CONTROL them. I need to constantly switch it up and keep those kids guessing at how I will react next.