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Dormant Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Reactive Attachment Disorder... encouragement welcome!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="moonglow" data-source="post: 318768" data-attributes="member: 256"><p>Wow..I a so so sorry. This must all be very heartbreaking. My sister adopted three children..all three had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) though she didn't find this out until later. They are all adults now..the youngest just turned 18 last spring and my sister gave him a letter of notice that he had to leaven the house in 30 thirty days. She did this because there is some law now that if someone is in your home for more then three days...somethings like that, they are considered to have legal rights to stay there. This happened to her boyfriend..he had a house he was renting and a friend needed a place to stay for awhile...lost his job and home. So being a nice guy he allowed his friend to stay...this friend was no friend at all though. He being a lazy bum..even moved his girlfriend in with him. Wasn't looking for work..just hoarded off of Buck..that is my sister's boyfriend (actually they are engaged now to be married). </p><p></p><p>So when Buck tried to call the police to force this guy out as he was refusing to leave, they told him about this law! Its crazy. So Buck had to give this guy thirty days notice to move out..and the guy stayed the whole thirty days too! </p><p></p><p>So my sister had to give notice to her youngest like that. He had been becoming increasingly verbally abusive..never helped around the house or did his chores. Was getting more and more threatening towards her. She is only five one and he was much taller then her. He was flunking out of school..doing nothing to find a job..just being a very mean and nasty bum! After what she went through with her two older Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) children...she had enough and wasn't going to put up with anymore. </p><p></p><p>He had lied and told the school she beat him up! They didn't believe him of course..no marks, no bruising. All three of them have claimed severe abuse by her and her late husband. None of it was true. What was true was they all had been severely abused and neglected by their bio-mom's and in foster homes they had been in. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /> Tiffany was the worse. She falsely accused my sister's late husband of sexually abusing her...had called CPS about it in fact. All because when he came home from work one day he found her in the house making out with a boy. This was back when she was younger and still in school. </p><p></p><p>Tony was already severely depressed and suffering health problems..my sister and him were divorced but he had two of the kids due to their horrible fighting among themselves. He couldn't handle their extreme behavioral problems. At that time neither one of them realized how bad it really was. That night, he drove out in the country and shot himself in the head. <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite3" alt=":(" title="Frown :(" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":(" /></p><p></p><p>Frankly I still blame Tiffany for that. She has done other terrible things since then...we also found out when she was younger she molested Kenny..the youngest one. We didn't find out about this until a few years ago..too many years had passed to press charges though. She is not allowed to be around him without supervision even though he is old enough to protect himself now. Due to the sexual abuse, Kenny is now dealing with some severe sexually perverted behaviors himself too. Which I won't post on here..its just too graphic and nasty. </p><p></p><p>On the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) sites I have read, these children did not bond with a parent when they were babies. They have not developed a conscious...they really don't care who they hurt..they have no guilt. There reasoning for what they do makes no sense. The only way I can deal with especially Tiffany is I see her as insane. Insane people do insane, irrational, stupid and terrible things sometimes. </p><p></p><p>I know it was not her fault she was abused and neglected as a baby and toddler and I know it wasn't her fault she was sexually abused in the foster homes. I realize this damaged her beyond any help outside of a miracle from God. </p><p></p><p>My advise to you is to get her out of the house as soon as possible! Before she does so much damage to your family and your son, that it can't be repaired. I would pray ..and I mean pray hard that the Lord put a hedge of protection around your family and your son and her too! </p><p></p><p>I am sorry your Christian friends didn't understand...I am a Christian myself. I realize many have been raised their whole lives as Christians and have never had to deal with such things. Shoot anyone regardless of their beliefs, struggles to understand these kids. Unless they have experienced it first hand, they have no clue what is going on.</p><p></p><p>Don't just kick her out. My sister never kicked any of them out..as they all obviously needed a great deal of help. She talked to their therapist and other mental health support people and started them off in apartments set up for people like them that needed extra help making it on their own. Their case workers checked on them constantly too.</p><p></p><p>Of course Tif got herself kicked out of that place for harassing the others living in the apartment building..was even homeless for awhile living in her car but she didn't care. She was not allowed to go back home due to what she did to Kenny who didn't tell anyone until she was out of there where he felt safe enough to talk about it. She lost her car eventually for unpaid tickets and even went to jail several times for that. Still didn't care.</p><p></p><p>Eventually my sister helped her get on disability. She, like the other two, are now diagnosis with bipolar. </p><p></p><p>There is more..alot more..too much to write. But I think you get the idea. I wish, oh how I wish there was an answer for these kids...a cure..a therapy that works but last time I checked none of the therapies out there work. We can only hope and pray the hard knocks life give them will eventually sink in that they cannot make the world work how they want it too...but they have to conform to it in order to survive and be happy. </p><p></p><p>Julie</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="moonglow, post: 318768, member: 256"] Wow..I a so so sorry. This must all be very heartbreaking. My sister adopted three children..all three had Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) though she didn't find this out until later. They are all adults now..the youngest just turned 18 last spring and my sister gave him a letter of notice that he had to leaven the house in 30 thirty days. She did this because there is some law now that if someone is in your home for more then three days...somethings like that, they are considered to have legal rights to stay there. This happened to her boyfriend..he had a house he was renting and a friend needed a place to stay for awhile...lost his job and home. So being a nice guy he allowed his friend to stay...this friend was no friend at all though. He being a lazy bum..even moved his girlfriend in with him. Wasn't looking for work..just hoarded off of Buck..that is my sister's boyfriend (actually they are engaged now to be married). So when Buck tried to call the police to force this guy out as he was refusing to leave, they told him about this law! Its crazy. So Buck had to give this guy thirty days notice to move out..and the guy stayed the whole thirty days too! So my sister had to give notice to her youngest like that. He had been becoming increasingly verbally abusive..never helped around the house or did his chores. Was getting more and more threatening towards her. She is only five one and he was much taller then her. He was flunking out of school..doing nothing to find a job..just being a very mean and nasty bum! After what she went through with her two older Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) children...she had enough and wasn't going to put up with anymore. He had lied and told the school she beat him up! They didn't believe him of course..no marks, no bruising. All three of them have claimed severe abuse by her and her late husband. None of it was true. What was true was they all had been severely abused and neglected by their bio-mom's and in foster homes they had been in. :( Tiffany was the worse. She falsely accused my sister's late husband of sexually abusing her...had called CPS about it in fact. All because when he came home from work one day he found her in the house making out with a boy. This was back when she was younger and still in school. Tony was already severely depressed and suffering health problems..my sister and him were divorced but he had two of the kids due to their horrible fighting among themselves. He couldn't handle their extreme behavioral problems. At that time neither one of them realized how bad it really was. That night, he drove out in the country and shot himself in the head. :( Frankly I still blame Tiffany for that. She has done other terrible things since then...we also found out when she was younger she molested Kenny..the youngest one. We didn't find out about this until a few years ago..too many years had passed to press charges though. She is not allowed to be around him without supervision even though he is old enough to protect himself now. Due to the sexual abuse, Kenny is now dealing with some severe sexually perverted behaviors himself too. Which I won't post on here..its just too graphic and nasty. On the Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) sites I have read, these children did not bond with a parent when they were babies. They have not developed a conscious...they really don't care who they hurt..they have no guilt. There reasoning for what they do makes no sense. The only way I can deal with especially Tiffany is I see her as insane. Insane people do insane, irrational, stupid and terrible things sometimes. I know it was not her fault she was abused and neglected as a baby and toddler and I know it wasn't her fault she was sexually abused in the foster homes. I realize this damaged her beyond any help outside of a miracle from God. My advise to you is to get her out of the house as soon as possible! Before she does so much damage to your family and your son, that it can't be repaired. I would pray ..and I mean pray hard that the Lord put a hedge of protection around your family and your son and her too! I am sorry your Christian friends didn't understand...I am a Christian myself. I realize many have been raised their whole lives as Christians and have never had to deal with such things. Shoot anyone regardless of their beliefs, struggles to understand these kids. Unless they have experienced it first hand, they have no clue what is going on. Don't just kick her out. My sister never kicked any of them out..as they all obviously needed a great deal of help. She talked to their therapist and other mental health support people and started them off in apartments set up for people like them that needed extra help making it on their own. Their case workers checked on them constantly too. Of course Tif got herself kicked out of that place for harassing the others living in the apartment building..was even homeless for awhile living in her car but she didn't care. She was not allowed to go back home due to what she did to Kenny who didn't tell anyone until she was out of there where he felt safe enough to talk about it. She lost her car eventually for unpaid tickets and even went to jail several times for that. Still didn't care. Eventually my sister helped her get on disability. She, like the other two, are now diagnosis with bipolar. There is more..alot more..too much to write. But I think you get the idea. I wish, oh how I wish there was an answer for these kids...a cure..a therapy that works but last time I checked none of the therapies out there work. We can only hope and pray the hard knocks life give them will eventually sink in that they cannot make the world work how they want it too...but they have to conform to it in order to survive and be happy. Julie [/QUOTE]
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Dormant Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Reactive Attachment Disorder... encouragement welcome!!!
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