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Parent Emeritus
Dormant Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Reactive Attachment Disorder... encouragement welcome!!!
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<blockquote data-quote="katya02" data-source="post: 318852" data-attributes="member: 2884"><p>Welcome, and I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. I don't know about being on the victory side of anything - we seem to go one step forward and three steps back these days - but I and many others here have been on, are still on, the painful journey. I don't think that anyone who hasn't been down this road can really understand.</p><p></p><p>When you are accused of abuse by a child you love and have devoted your life to, you do find out who your real friends are. People are quick to judge, even those who should know better. We have also lost friends and relationships due to behaviors and accusations from our difficult child. </p><p></p><p>At least you're aware of the triangulation your daughter engages in; most kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) are masters at it and they expertly manipulate the adults around them. Forewarned is forearmed. You can refuse to have any private conversations with your difficult child; insist that every interaction be with witnesses, so that words and actions can't as easily be twisted and misrepresented. Is your older difficult child at home? If she's not in college, is she working? Is your son still at home? These things will affect how you can approach your interactions with your older difficult child. </p><p></p><p>I hope you and your husband can hold onto each other, and perhaps get some couples' counseling to help you through this, validate your position, and help you map out a strategy for coping with both of your kids. Last year we found a family counselor tremendously helpful when we had to make some tough decisions about our difficult child and write up a contract with conditions for him living at home. An objective, experienced counselor can be like gold.</p><p></p><p>So sorry this is happening; it's heartbreaking. But you know the good things you've done for your kids, and you know that without your care and love they would be in a bad place today. You can hold onto the fact that you did right by them and gave them the best chance you could. Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="katya02, post: 318852, member: 2884"] Welcome, and I'm so sorry to hear of your situation. I don't know about being on the victory side of anything - we seem to go one step forward and three steps back these days - but I and many others here have been on, are still on, the painful journey. I don't think that anyone who hasn't been down this road can really understand. When you are accused of abuse by a child you love and have devoted your life to, you do find out who your real friends are. People are quick to judge, even those who should know better. We have also lost friends and relationships due to behaviors and accusations from our difficult child. At least you're aware of the triangulation your daughter engages in; most kids with Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) are masters at it and they expertly manipulate the adults around them. Forewarned is forearmed. You can refuse to have any private conversations with your difficult child; insist that every interaction be with witnesses, so that words and actions can't as easily be twisted and misrepresented. Is your older difficult child at home? If she's not in college, is she working? Is your son still at home? These things will affect how you can approach your interactions with your older difficult child. I hope you and your husband can hold onto each other, and perhaps get some couples' counseling to help you through this, validate your position, and help you map out a strategy for coping with both of your kids. Last year we found a family counselor tremendously helpful when we had to make some tough decisions about our difficult child and write up a contract with conditions for him living at home. An objective, experienced counselor can be like gold. So sorry this is happening; it's heartbreaking. But you know the good things you've done for your kids, and you know that without your care and love they would be in a bad place today. You can hold onto the fact that you did right by them and gave them the best chance you could. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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Dormant Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) Reactive Attachment Disorder... encouragement welcome!!!
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