Everyone is pretty aware of my latest dilemna with my Difficult Child - she has a warrant out for her arrest in the county she attended rehab in (about 5 hours away from home). She has another court date this Wednesday for another charge in our home county. So all day I've been thinking that she hasn't had her phone (because she broke it) so she only has access to one when the guy she is staying with his home from work so she probably doesn't remember about her court date on Wednesday BUT for her court date last week she was high on drugs and out in another town after her 'boyfriend' was arrested. She doesn't know about the warrant and I doubt remembers about her court date this week. I guess I'm questioning whether I, knowing that her court date if this week and knowing that she doesn't know it's on Wednesday, should tell her about it or not. She hasn't asked about any of her court cases since she's been gone and I don't know if that's because she just doesn't want to know because she's afraid of the trouble she's in or if she is just in a hopeless place in her mind and she's given up. I guess I'm doubting myself and what I thought I had planned to do which was let things take their course - if she showed up to court great, if not, it's on her. That said, she has no idea about the court date but if I tell her about the warrant and her court date, she won't go because she doesn't want to get arrested and I know that. If I don't tell her I'm going to feel as though I kept it from her purposely and allowed her to have yet another warrant issued. If I tell her about the court date and not about the warrant, I'll feel like I withheld information and she will accuse me of setting her up to get arrested when she shows up to court! If I tell her about it all, at least I won't feel like I've withheld information or trapped her but that will also guarantee that she won't show up and I will be paying the bond money. So many variables. My husband feels strongly that we should not pay the bond and therefore she needs to get put in jail. I can respect his feelings in that she has already stolen thousands from us and cost us probably thousands of dollars so he is not wanting to pay a penny more on her behalf - at least as long as she is living this life. Any advice? I feel, on one hand, that I've told her about her court dates in the past few months a million times and when she left this last time, on April 1st, I said no more! I decided not to keep managing her court dates and legal problems because I ultimately can't control the outcome. On the other hand, I can't help but feel like I'm being sneaky by not telling her the information I know about HER court cases to give her the ability to make her own decision. I'm open for suggestions!