The problem comes when you can't just walk away, privately shaking your head and wondering where his parents went wrong, because you are the parent....
Thank you, Dr. Riley. I just wanted to weep when I read the above because you said what I've been feeling but unable to put into words myself. Thank you for your reply to my question about remorse, and your honesty about the fact that I would find this book more useful than the other. I am looking forward to reading your ideas about the "big guy zone." I have noticed on a few occasions that when I give my son additional responsibility to emphasize that he's the "big brother" in this house, he seems ready to burst with pride, and he becomes very attentive to the task (usually "helping" me cook dinner).
SRL - if I may add my $.02 (as a former teacher) to your post about reading in a classroom and the ADHD child... I think it is essential that parents be fully aware of what kind of reading techniques are used in their child's classroom. Small groups working simultaneously on separate things that require attention can be distracting to typical children, let alone the ADHD child. I think good teachers do what they can to mix up their instructional techniques to reach most of their students at some time or another, but there will always be kids who slip through. I can also say from experience that it is really important for a parent to stay on top of their child's IEP with the teacher and check in regularly to make sure needs are being met. The importance of reading... real reading, not just word-calling, but full-blown reading comprehension... can not be overstated, and the better a foundation parents and teachers can lay at an early age, the better success ANY child will have down the line. Check in periodically with your child to make sure they're comprehending what they read and not just word-calling (ex: I had students who could read a whole paragraph out loud about a kid in a red shirt... and when they finished, they couldn't tell me what color the shirt was. -Even though they'd read the words out loud, they were not comprehending the meaning in their own heads).