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Dr. Riley checking in to Early Childhood Zone
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<blockquote data-quote="Dr. Douglas Riley" data-source="post: 253920" data-attributes="member: 6888"><p>CH547: Thanks for your interest in my books. I do not recommend that you read <em>The Defiant Child</em> at this point, given that your son is still so young. You will definitely find my current thoughts on children in his age range in <em>What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You</em>, because there are entire sections of the book written specifically for children his age. </p><p> </p><p>As for remorse in a four year old: You will have to watch closely to determine if your son feels sad only when he gets caught, as opposed to feeling sad after an explosion even though there has been little to no confronting him or scolding him about his behavior. Oppositional kids don't feel a lot of regret over their actions - they just keep doing the same behaviors over and over.</p><p> </p><p>In reading your post, I am paying particular attention to how your son blew up when one of his friends talked to him while he was eating. This is a very good example of what I would term a "roadmap" explosion. Most likely he was engaged in eating, did not anticipate being interrupted in any manner, and blew up when he was indeed interrupted. </p><p> </p><p>Your son is at the perfect age to begin the training that I refer to in Chapter Two of the new book as "big guy" training. It will involve lots of role play and is also based on high levels of positive verbal feedback and praise for appropriate behavior, otherwise known as staying in the "big guy zone." I have nothing but an optimistic outlook for kids your son's age who are doing the same behaviors, as experience has taught me that once you adopt some very straightforward strategies and stay with them consistently, his behavior will begin to change. Please keep in mind that virtually every child I write about in the new book has a lengthy history of exploding on friends, family, teachers, everyone. They sometimes hit, kick, punch, yell, and act in every embarrassing way known to man. So, again, I am very optimistic.</p><p> </p><p>Doug Riley</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Dr. Douglas Riley, post: 253920, member: 6888"] CH547: Thanks for your interest in my books. I do not recommend that you read [I]The Defiant Child[/I] at this point, given that your son is still so young. You will definitely find my current thoughts on children in his age range in [I]What Your Explosive Child Is Trying To Tell You[/I], because there are entire sections of the book written specifically for children his age. As for remorse in a four year old: You will have to watch closely to determine if your son feels sad only when he gets caught, as opposed to feeling sad after an explosion even though there has been little to no confronting him or scolding him about his behavior. Oppositional kids don't feel a lot of regret over their actions - they just keep doing the same behaviors over and over. In reading your post, I am paying particular attention to how your son blew up when one of his friends talked to him while he was eating. This is a very good example of what I would term a "roadmap" explosion. Most likely he was engaged in eating, did not anticipate being interrupted in any manner, and blew up when he was indeed interrupted. Your son is at the perfect age to begin the training that I refer to in Chapter Two of the new book as "big guy" training. It will involve lots of role play and is also based on high levels of positive verbal feedback and praise for appropriate behavior, otherwise known as staying in the "big guy zone." I have nothing but an optimistic outlook for kids your son's age who are doing the same behaviors, as experience has taught me that once you adopt some very straightforward strategies and stay with them consistently, his behavior will begin to change. Please keep in mind that virtually every child I write about in the new book has a lengthy history of exploding on friends, family, teachers, everyone. They sometimes hit, kick, punch, yell, and act in every embarrassing way known to man. So, again, I am very optimistic. Doug Riley [/QUOTE]
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