Drained

[sostressed]

I'm new here, my name is Sarah and my son has ODD. I'm very very frustrated and warn out, sometimes it's hard to go on. I'm a single mom of 2 and just getting up in the morning is hard knowing i'm just going to have to battle through another day with my son. My health is going to deteriorate if my stress level keeps rising. Ever since December my son has been in a group home due to his behavior, it was getting so bad to the point my daughter and myself were being physically affected by my son, my son is 9 almost 10. He just returned home 3 weeks ago and it hasn't been easy.. i've been in tears most of the time, although he tells me he loves me etc and the punishments I have put into place. It just seems no matter the amount of authority placed to keep my son in line he reacts the opposite that an average kid would, for example will throw things and punch walls or me for that matter or just plain will not follow through with the punishments or will make it so hard for me to deal with in regards to the punishments. I dunno how much more of this I can take.. it's too much for one person to take.

 

[nvts]

Sarah! You're no longer one person in it alone. You've come to a great place. You'll find acceptance, friendship and tons of information.

First things first: Has he had a thorough neuropsychologist done? Many of us believe that ODD is a symptom rather than a diagnosis.

Next: Primary here: have you told your doctor what's going on? I'm worried that you've got a full-blown depression going and you need to consider some intervention. If you're not at your best it's going to make it way harder to deal with him.

Try reading a book called "The Explosive Child". It's a pretty quick read and will give you an idea as to how he thinks - then you can work at heading him off at the pass!

Why did they let him out of the group home if he's still violent?

A few more questions:

How was his early development? Does he have issues with loud/strange noises, itchy tags, hates different foods that he's never even tried? Is he an authority on certain subjects, toys or games? Is there a history of any type of mental health, developmental disabilities, drug/alcohol abuse in the family?

Sorry for getting personal, but the answers can definately help with figuring out strategies with him. Does he do a lot of this in school?

Sarah, we're here for you...like I said, it's a good group and we've been through the ringer collectively! Gotta hit the grocery store - will be back in a couple of hours.

Hold on and hang in there!

Beth

 

[whatamess]

Hugs to you. I agree with reading The Explosive Child, it really gave me a new perspective on my son's behaviors and how I approached them. Since then his most severe outbursts have decreased significantly. It always felt like we had to 'win the fight' with him, show him who was in charge and these clashes were when the most intense behaviors occured.

Anyway, glad you found this place, lots of supportive people with great information.

 

[BusynMember]

I'm on board with not thinking ODD is anything more than a symptom of a bigger disorder. Are there psychiatric issues or substance abuse on either side of your son's family tree? How was his early development? Does he understand how to relate to his same age peers? Is his speech and eye contact good? Has he tried medications? Did they help or make it worse? What was he on?

I would take him to a neuropsychologist. I've been through the gamut of diagnosticians because I have bipolar and my son is on the autism spectrum and in my opinion NeuroPsychs are the top diagnosticians (they are NOT neurologists). Pediatricians, therapists, and even psychiatrists don't do the extensive testing that they do. They really don't even seem to know how.

I hope you give us more info so you can help us. My guess is bio. dad probably had some very severe issues which is why you're no longer with him. But the child is still genetically his and there IS biology. You may want to do a signature for us like I have done below.

Oh, yeah. Welcome to the board. We DO understand!

 

[sostressed]

Thanks to you all, yes there's a history of schizophrenia in his fathers side, his grandfather had it, he tells me he sees things in a strange way sometimes, he's very irritable all the time, there's definitely something there and he really needs a lot of help..the doctors he's seen doesn't take him seriously, it seems he's all about money.