drama at our house right now

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by in a daze, Jul 10, 2010.

  1. in a daze

    in a daze Guest

    Tried to post a longer thread...didn't seem to work.

    difficult child found out this morning that the psychiatric doctor was informed about his misuse of the Adderal. Became very angry. The appointment is on Monday. We thought we had talked him down; he sounded more conciliatory, said he would go to appointment, but not with us (parents)​

    We went out for a few hours and this is what we found:​

    difficult child, lying on bare mattress. Strong smell of smoke. Not cigarettes, husband thinks it's pot (doesn't smell sweet like I remember, just kind of musty) Ashes on the bedside table. Very angry. Says he is DONE with us.​

    difficult child had been somewhat cooperative last two weeks. No evidence of drinking in the house lately. He had called psychiatric office for refill of Adderal as he said he needed it to focus and concentrate for this class he is taking. A different doctor in the practice wrote the rx. I picked the rx up, had it filled, and locked it up. I dole it out to him each day. Mind you, this is only because he is taking the class (although he probably needs it every day anyway)​

    Well, we are close to being DONE with him. If he messes up this class, he can just forget about finishing his degree any time soon, along with a host of other privileges which he doesn't seem to appreciate.​
  2. Bean

    Bean Member

    Hey there. Welcome aboard. :)

    Maybe I missed it, but how old is your son? Is he in college? Working? Does he live with you?
  3. in a daze

    in a daze Guest

    Hi there...23y/o, had to pick him up from his university in May because of heavy drinking and bizarre behavior. He has 9 more semester hour left to get his degree. He is presently taking a summer class which ends next week. He has half hartedly tried to look for a part time job. He lives with us, his parents and his sister.
  4. CrazyinVA

    CrazyinVA Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Welcome to the board! I'm sorry you're going through this right now. Having a child who abuses alcohol or drugs is very difficult. I understand getting to the point where you are "done." Many of us have found great comfort in the halls of Al-Anon or Nar-Anon groups, which can be a great support.

    Doling out his Adderal is a tricky thing. I tried doling out pain pills with Oldest, but honestly, it only gave her something else for which to resent me and actually gave her another reason to "need" them (in her warped sense of justification, of course) She find more "creative" ways to get them (i.e., stealing them). In the end I decided it was just another form of enabling. If she was going to abuse the drugs, she wasn't going to get any assistance from me, including me trying to control her intake of them.

  5. Bean

    Bean Member

    So, because he was kicked out of school and has no job, he has to stay with you guys. 23... considering that he was thrown out for drug/alcohol use, does he recognize this as a problem? Can you get him into a program and have sobriety be a condition of him living with you?
  6. in a daze

    in a daze Guest

    We are working with the therapist...alcohol use has decreased, haven't found any empty vodka bottles last 2 weeks...we did smell some kind of smoke in his room yesterday.

    He came out of his room a couple of times last night to fix himself something to eat. Doesn't talk. Didn't try to engage him. Still in room, lying on his bed (sleeping?)

    He better study, pass this class, and go to the doctor tomorrow or we are done. Use of computer and phone will be seriously reconsidered, as will paying for any further education.

    We will see how the day progresses.

    We are talking about checking out Al-Anon or Families Anonymous.