Drama this week, newborn taken

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by Masta, Mar 21, 2008.

  1. Masta

    Masta Member

    Below is alot to read, but for those of you who know my story its worth the read, you will be shocked.

    My difficult children hubby (18yrs old) took their 2 week old baby out with his mom shopping on monday. He didn’t return home with their baby son. He left his son at his moms and came back to difficult children apartment with a keep the peace officer to retrieve his clothes. My difficult child didn’t know what was going on. It turns out difficult children hubby was out all day getting a restraining order on my difficult child and temp custody papers as well as trying to expunge his juvie sex offender record.

    The claims in the restraining order are… my difficult child has been physically violent towards her hubby and she is threatening to harm her baby and everyone else around her including herself. None of which are true.. I know my difficult child has issues but they aren’t these sorts of issues.

    Tuesday morning I took difficult child to the court house to see what the heck is going on because all of this was a surprise to her. She was served papers at the courthouse. We retained a kick butt lawyer by the end of the day. Lawyer files papers to expedite the hearing for the restraining order because infant needs to be breastfed. Papers were also made up and granted for difficult child to breastfed her baby every 2 hrs. we took those papers with police officers to get the baby…hubby would not hand baby over. Hubbies mom said difficult child can feed in her home. We wouldn’t allow it coz the restraining order states difficult child cannot be in the home of hubby or her own apt, Wednesday we get a court date for Thursday.

    We gather police reports difficult children hubby has made (he has pre meditated all of this with his mom for some time). (difficult child and hubby were separated a week before the birth of their child). difficult children hubby has called the police over incidents that aren’t true to make a paper trail. difficult child didn’t know about it.

    difficult child went to the doctor Wednesday complaining of severe throbbing in her tummy. Turns out her hubby raped her 4 times last week (2 weeks post partum) he has been mentally, emotionally, verbally abusive throughout their 5mth marriage). Turns out difficult child is pregnant. 2 urine tests taken doctor didn’t tell difficult child she wanted me to handle it coz of difficult children situation. doctor did take blood to make sure we get the results today. We have to file a police report. difficult child didn’t know if you were married and you refused to have sex that it was rape. difficult children uterus is infected from the sexual intercourse. Which is proof.

    Thursday, yesterday we go to court and we have so many people we know from difficult children past who are professionals attend the hearing with us. difficult children hubby brings his parents, 2 sisters (one is a minor) and a teen friend. I think difficult children hubby retained free lawyer.

    Judge heard all the facts and based on us running around getting police reports contradicting difficult children hubbies stories and a doctors report from difficult children doctor that we had just went and seen.. we won the baby back.

    Anyway after we won the court hearing hubby had 2hrs to return the child. His lawyer didn’t want to .my lawyer said if the baby wasn’t returned a pick up order would take affect which means police and guns.

    Hubby returned the baby in time but handed over 1 baby bag of items. He has had access to the apt all week and has cleared all all of the baby belongings and wont hand them over. He did not purchase any of them. He also has my daughters belongings (clothes).

    This afternoon (Friday) we get the blood results back.. negative difficult child isn’t pregnant. The 2 urine tests were a false positive. Baby checked out good.

    Very exhausted running around after my difficult child and dealing with all of this.

    difficult child is filing for divorce her lawyer had her fill in the papers when we met her.

    Custody … father of the baby gets 2hrs x 3 times a week in the home where baby resides which is my home. I have to supervise.. difficult child isn’t allowed to be here coz of the restraining order. When the baby is older the hours will increase. I don’t think father of the baby will come coz we don’t get along. I wont let any of his family or friends come into my home.

    Don’t know if we can ask to be reimbursed for buying the baby stuff for baby coz father didn’t hand over babies belongings. Don’t know if we can ask to for attorneys fees either.

    My next step is now dealing with living with my difficult child!! I will start a new post for that.

    I am emotionally, mentally and physically drained from all that has happened.
  2. SRL

    SRL Active Member

    Oh my, what an upsetting and heartaching time for you all.

    I would advise you to contact the nearest domestic violence resource center. We've just worked with one for a family member--they were helpful with info and provided a great deal of support, including free legal services. There was also a lot of help available that our family member didn't utilize: housing, therapy, help in finding a job, etc.

    It was arranged so that our family member could have a sheriff present at the house to go pick up her things and you should be able to do that to retrieve the baby stuff. Both times the sheriff arrived before she did and it kept what would have been a shouting match (at best) civil and safe. If someone more neutral could go in to retrieve the baby stuff it would be easier.

    Good luck to you and your family--
  3. Marcie Mac

    Marcie Mac Just Plain Ole Tired

    Masta, am glad you got difficult child and the baby out of there.. finger crossed she learned something from this experience this time- you have been saying for a while what was probably going to go down about the baby, and you were right.

    I think I would be getting one of those nanny cams for his visits at your house just to be on the safe side. This guy and his family are pretty devious and there is probably a plan B in the working since plan A didn't work out for them.

  4. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    You don't know how glad I am that she and the baby are with you.

    Ya did good, grandma.
  5. DDD

    DDD Well-Known Member

    Of course you are exhausted. It was one major stressor on top of another major stressor. I'm so sorry that it has been so difficult and surely hope that difficult child will do counseling with the Victims Advocates and also take (or retake) parenting courses to assure the babys health.

    Sending hugs and prayers yours way. DDD
  6. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful


    And saying prayers. Oh, my! To go thru all of that it absolutely horrid. I'm glad you were able to regain custody of the baby.

    In most states difficult child's hubby will be required to either return the taken items or replace the cost of the items. I know this cuz my Mom's been divorced like 6 times. I know that doesn't help much at the moment, though.

    Why don't you look for freecycle in your area and request baby items and such for them? Ought to help some at least.
  7. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    That's awful, Masta! I hope that the rest of it will be expedited as soon as possible. Lisa's idea for Freecycle is a good one.
  8. Star*

    Star* call 911........call 911

    Masta -

    Congratulations on giving the child the best possible place to live. Hard to start out life in such turmoil - but better to know now and have it over and done with. I hope this speed-matured your daughter. Apparently when you don't think it can get any worse it can; and very quickly.

    The best advice you've gotten was to get daughter into counseling at a domestic violence shelter. They will have access to clothes and baby items.

    Coming from the heart of someone who left a HOUSE full of things behind - LET IT GO. People will come out of the wood work to be generous to a baby. Tell the police you have no car seat if you don't - they have programs. Get on the internet and type in newborn freebies. Lisa's suggestion for Freecycle is excellent - Craigslist.org has a freebie help too.

    Let him keep the stuff - he'll have to look at it all the time and I hope he does and I hope every bag and box and blanket remind him that he's a sneaky, underhanded jerk and when your grandchild is 18 and asks about his past I hope things have changed.

  9. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    I think I'd give up on the "stuff" too! This baby is only two weeks old - in another month or so all those baby clothes won't even fit him anymore and he'll have to have new ones anyway!

    And about a car seat ... in almost every area the county health departments provide "loaner" car seats free of charge to those that need them. When the child outgrows the smaller size infant seat, you can take it back and they will give you the next bigger size.
  10. scent of cedar

    scent of cedar New Member

    Nothing to add to the excellent advice you have been given, other than to tell you that I admire your strength, courage, and persistence in trying to protect your child and your grandchild.

    Know that my thoughts and prayers are with you and your daughter.

    What a horrible, nasty person this male seems to be.

    It's probably the mother-in-law, right?

    You were correct all along.

    What she seems to want is that baby, and the welfare help that goes with it, whatever it costs either the mother or the child.

    Be certain that mother-in-law does not somehow worm her way into being present in your home when the so-called father exercises his visitation rights.

    I just know that is what is coming next.

  11. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    What a week you had! So glad you got Baby back where he belongs. Lots of hugs and prayers going out to you and your family.
  12. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader


    There are many resources available to help with needed items, as the others already mentioned.

    Sending hugs - you will need your strength these coming months. I will send up some prayers for all of you. You did the right thing by bringing difficult child and baby to your home. Peace~
  13. PonyGirl

    PonyGirl Warrior Parent

    Just sending caring thoughts. (((((BIG HUGS)))))