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Parent Emeritus
Drawing boundaries and not being ruled by sadness and guilt
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember1" data-source="post: 753945" data-attributes="member: 23706"><p>I can't compete with New Leaf's eloquence, but I echo that we can get so tied up in the chaos of our sick loved one that we can almost forget about our other loved ones. I was guilty of that and I am trying to make it up to them. </p><p></p><p>My daughter is on the brink of homelessness. At one time I would have rescued her from that to the detriment of the rest of us and it didn't help her either. She has to want to help herself. I can't fix her. I have always tried harder to help her than she tried to help herself. That doesn't work.</p><p></p><p>We are having holidays without Kay. It will make things peaceful. I wish it could be different but until/unless Kay changes a lot she can not join us and right now she doesn't want to. We cut out the money supply so she is furious. She says that means we don't love her. She is 33 with a useless husband and a child whom we are close to rescuing. It's horrible.</p><p></p><p>If you have a higher power, maybe give your son to God. If he abuses or once abused drugs then he is an addict. There is help foryou. Al Anon and Narcotics Anonamyous have both really helped myself and my husband. So has a private therapist. </p><p></p><p>I send prayers and hope you can start to see that you are not able to control anyone but yourself. Have a nice holiday.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember1, post: 753945, member: 23706"] I can't compete with New Leaf's eloquence, but I echo that we can get so tied up in the chaos of our sick loved one that we can almost forget about our other loved ones. I was guilty of that and I am trying to make it up to them. My daughter is on the brink of homelessness. At one time I would have rescued her from that to the detriment of the rest of us and it didn't help her either. She has to want to help herself. I can't fix her. I have always tried harder to help her than she tried to help herself. That doesn't work. We are having holidays without Kay. It will make things peaceful. I wish it could be different but until/unless Kay changes a lot she can not join us and right now she doesn't want to. We cut out the money supply so she is furious. She says that means we don't love her. She is 33 with a useless husband and a child whom we are close to rescuing. It's horrible. If you have a higher power, maybe give your son to God. If he abuses or once abused drugs then he is an addict. There is help foryou. Al Anon and Narcotics Anonamyous have both really helped myself and my husband. So has a private therapist. I send prayers and hope you can start to see that you are not able to control anyone but yourself. Have a nice holiday. [/QUOTE]
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Drawing boundaries and not being ruled by sadness and guilt
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