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Substance Abuse
Dreading Christmas
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<blockquote data-quote="so ready to live" data-source="post: 725438" data-attributes="member: 20054"><p>Hello Mum. So hard during the holidays isn't it? Sadly, so hard every day too.</p><p></p><p>This is much like our son-we've said "you can't be nice to him or he starts in". So his calls/texts are blocked. We simply can't take his drama anymore. </p><p>You made a generous offer to help with phone bill-that's what he said he needed...and then he wants money???</p><p>We attended alanon for 6 mo. few years ago-The strongest line I remember is "if their lips are moving, they are lying" coming from an experienced Dad present that day. Sadly, this is true of my alcoholic/addicted son. I believe virtually nothing he says anymore. I used to think he "forgot, was mistaken" etc. until I finally saw the pattern of deceit. I was/am blind about him. It seems to me a simple manipulation for your son to show you a phone bill (ie. he just wants to do the right thing and pay his bill), then ask for cash instead. </p><p>They all have learned from the same playbook. </p><p>I find it so much easier now to just not believe a word. That said, we do call with "how are you doing?" every few weeks and then are grateful he's alive but get off phone quickly if drama begins. We will take him out to shop at Christmas for a rug that can't be returned to cover nasty floor of apartment he shares....</p><p>We never thought for a minute that we'd live like this...I'm sure you didn't either. From my heart to yours..blessings today.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="so ready to live, post: 725438, member: 20054"] Hello Mum. So hard during the holidays isn't it? Sadly, so hard every day too. This is much like our son-we've said "you can't be nice to him or he starts in". So his calls/texts are blocked. We simply can't take his drama anymore. You made a generous offer to help with phone bill-that's what he said he needed...and then he wants money??? We attended alanon for 6 mo. few years ago-The strongest line I remember is "if their lips are moving, they are lying" coming from an experienced Dad present that day. Sadly, this is true of my alcoholic/addicted son. I believe virtually nothing he says anymore. I used to think he "forgot, was mistaken" etc. until I finally saw the pattern of deceit. I was/am blind about him. It seems to me a simple manipulation for your son to show you a phone bill (ie. he just wants to do the right thing and pay his bill), then ask for cash instead. They all have learned from the same playbook. I find it so much easier now to just not believe a word. That said, we do call with "how are you doing?" every few weeks and then are grateful he's alive but get off phone quickly if drama begins. We will take him out to shop at Christmas for a rug that can't be returned to cover nasty floor of apartment he shares.... We never thought for a minute that we'd live like this...I'm sure you didn't either. From my heart to yours..blessings today. [/QUOTE]
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