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General Parenting
Dreading the meeting-need good thoughts please
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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 399007" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A way for difficult child to write his apology letter - have him write the truth as he sees it. But part of that truth is acknowledgement of the teacher's honest belief that difficult child did something to the teacher. So what difficult child can say, honestly, is, "I am sorry you feel I did X to you. I do not remember doing X to you; if I did and I don't remember, I am sorry. I do not want to disrespect you because I value the effort you put in to teach me. Perhaps we can talk about this to help me understand better."</p><p></p><p>Would difficult child be OK with phrasing it this way? I agree, he should not be made to write a lie, and I accept that writing a letter of apology for something he may not have actually done, is very unhealthy. But difficult child may need to accept that he may have done something which had repercussions he did not realise, and which could have been honestly interpreted by a teacher as a deliberate affront, where none was intended.</p><p></p><p>Tell difficult child - if you accidentally step on a teacher's toes, you apologise even though it was an accident. it is human nature. We jostle, we do our own thing but it almost always infringes on someone else's space. So when we clash, even though we don't mean to, we apologise. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." it's not an admission of deliberate intent; it's an acknowledgement that no hurt was intended.</p><p></p><p>I agree - this insistence on right and wrong is very Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD).</p><p></p><p>Good luck with the new evaluation. The school should not use ODD as anything official. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is as valid as ODD as a label in this case.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 399007, member: 1991"] A way for difficult child to write his apology letter - have him write the truth as he sees it. But part of that truth is acknowledgement of the teacher's honest belief that difficult child did something to the teacher. So what difficult child can say, honestly, is, "I am sorry you feel I did X to you. I do not remember doing X to you; if I did and I don't remember, I am sorry. I do not want to disrespect you because I value the effort you put in to teach me. Perhaps we can talk about this to help me understand better." Would difficult child be OK with phrasing it this way? I agree, he should not be made to write a lie, and I accept that writing a letter of apology for something he may not have actually done, is very unhealthy. But difficult child may need to accept that he may have done something which had repercussions he did not realise, and which could have been honestly interpreted by a teacher as a deliberate affront, where none was intended. Tell difficult child - if you accidentally step on a teacher's toes, you apologise even though it was an accident. it is human nature. We jostle, we do our own thing but it almost always infringes on someone else's space. So when we clash, even though we don't mean to, we apologise. "Sorry, I didn't see you there." it's not an admission of deliberate intent; it's an acknowledgement that no hurt was intended. I agree - this insistence on right and wrong is very Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD). Good luck with the new evaluation. The school should not use ODD as anything official. Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD) is as valid as ODD as a label in this case. Marg [/QUOTE]
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