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dreading visiting jail!
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 109274" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Stands, </p><p></p><p>The first time I went to visit my son in jail, I had no idea what to expect. No knowing what to expect was more unnerving for me than the visit itself. Because you aren't a criminal - you don't think about the things that will happen when you enter an institution. </p><p></p><p>It's a good idea to ask your doctor for a 1/2 a valium and take it before you go. THIS will be a bizarre day full of lots of input your brain will try to process, while dealing with grief and joy.</p><p></p><p>There will be miles of fences</p><p>There will be razor wire in rows and rows</p><p>It will look sterile, void of color</p><p>It will look uncluttered</p><p>You will be asked repeatedly for drivers license and insurance</p><p>You won't be able to take in your purse only ID</p><p>You may have to remove your jewelry</p><p>You may get patted down by a guard</p><p>You may only have a detection wand run over your body</p><p>In some prisons you have to go into a room with lockers, change down to your shoes and then visit in jumpsuits with disposable slippers - but not likely where he is at. been there done that - WILD.</p><p>You will have to wait without explanation</p><p>The guards most likely will be stoic and non conversational</p><p>The only friendly people you will meet that day will be others family and your son</p><p>You may have to stay in your car while police dogs sniff your vehicle and mirrors on sticks are shoved under your chassis</p><p>You won't be able to take anything in through the gates</p><p>There will be several gates</p><p>There will be lots of buzzers</p><p>There will be an echoing of sounds as painted concrete blocks have the loudest echoing capabilities</p><p>The room will be noisy and at times seem loud</p><p>You may hear bad language (oy)</p><p>You will see people that look NOTHING like you've ever seen</p><p>It may smell - but of food or cleaner</p><p>There will be few decorations</p><p>If you have to go to the bathroom you will have to ask, be escorted and the door will be unlocked and you will have someone wait on you to return to the day room or visitation room</p><p></p><p>If you get though THAT the rest is easy - because the rest involves ONLY sitting and seeing, talking with, and smiling at your son. It's OKAY to cry. It's OKAY to let him know you hurt and that things are not the same without him, don't go overboard.</p><p>Take kleenex - put a few in your pockets - you may or may not be asked to throw them away. </p><p></p><p></p><p>The time with your son will go SO fast - think about the things you want to talk to him about BEFORE you go. It helps to keep the conversation going. Most of them want to know about things outside, old friends, family, the pets - funny things, day to day activities, baking, decorating, like that. </p><p></p><p>When it's time to go - you may get to hug - don't know about the security. If you can't - know this: </p><p></p><p>A lot of times the road for our children doesn't lead where we thought it would. Where he is? Is NOT where you would have him in a perfect world. But we don't live there - so he is where he is, he is not on the streets doing drugs or getting drunk and you can pray - ask him what he wants you to pray for him. Make sure you're asking for the same things - and just enjoy the time you have with your son, because you DO have a chance to spend some time with him. </p><p></p><p>I tried to think: </p><p>I have time that if something had happened and he had been taken I would SO appreciate, just an hour to talk. </p><p>I KNOW he's not where I want him - but this is his path - his life - his destiny to change - and if he finds that ability in prison - wouldn't you be happy for him? </p><p></p><p>-Remember Paul? </p><p></p><p>And know - you have friends here that will hold you and talk to you, and cry with you - and just tell you like it is when you get too far out there. (I'm so thankful for that) </p><p></p><p>YOU HANG IN THERE SUSAN - </p><p></p><p>Hugs</p><p>Star</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 109274, member: 4964"] Stands, The first time I went to visit my son in jail, I had no idea what to expect. No knowing what to expect was more unnerving for me than the visit itself. Because you aren't a criminal - you don't think about the things that will happen when you enter an institution. It's a good idea to ask your doctor for a 1/2 a valium and take it before you go. THIS will be a bizarre day full of lots of input your brain will try to process, while dealing with grief and joy. There will be miles of fences There will be razor wire in rows and rows It will look sterile, void of color It will look uncluttered You will be asked repeatedly for drivers license and insurance You won't be able to take in your purse only ID You may have to remove your jewelry You may get patted down by a guard You may only have a detection wand run over your body In some prisons you have to go into a room with lockers, change down to your shoes and then visit in jumpsuits with disposable slippers - but not likely where he is at. been there done that - WILD. You will have to wait without explanation The guards most likely will be stoic and non conversational The only friendly people you will meet that day will be others family and your son You may have to stay in your car while police dogs sniff your vehicle and mirrors on sticks are shoved under your chassis You won't be able to take anything in through the gates There will be several gates There will be lots of buzzers There will be an echoing of sounds as painted concrete blocks have the loudest echoing capabilities The room will be noisy and at times seem loud You may hear bad language (oy) You will see people that look NOTHING like you've ever seen It may smell - but of food or cleaner There will be few decorations If you have to go to the bathroom you will have to ask, be escorted and the door will be unlocked and you will have someone wait on you to return to the day room or visitation room If you get though THAT the rest is easy - because the rest involves ONLY sitting and seeing, talking with, and smiling at your son. It's OKAY to cry. It's OKAY to let him know you hurt and that things are not the same without him, don't go overboard. Take kleenex - put a few in your pockets - you may or may not be asked to throw them away. The time with your son will go SO fast - think about the things you want to talk to him about BEFORE you go. It helps to keep the conversation going. Most of them want to know about things outside, old friends, family, the pets - funny things, day to day activities, baking, decorating, like that. When it's time to go - you may get to hug - don't know about the security. If you can't - know this: A lot of times the road for our children doesn't lead where we thought it would. Where he is? Is NOT where you would have him in a perfect world. But we don't live there - so he is where he is, he is not on the streets doing drugs or getting drunk and you can pray - ask him what he wants you to pray for him. Make sure you're asking for the same things - and just enjoy the time you have with your son, because you DO have a chance to spend some time with him. I tried to think: I have time that if something had happened and he had been taken I would SO appreciate, just an hour to talk. I KNOW he's not where I want him - but this is his path - his life - his destiny to change - and if he finds that ability in prison - wouldn't you be happy for him? -Remember Paul? And know - you have friends here that will hold you and talk to you, and cry with you - and just tell you like it is when you get too far out there. (I'm so thankful for that) YOU HANG IN THERE SUSAN - Hugs Star [/QUOTE]
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