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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 523300" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>Thanks for your response, Kttlc. Well, I guess it is a bit different. The problem isn't that I haven't understood J or he hasn't understood me. We understand each other perfectly: he wants something and I am saying no! He will not accept that no and will keep on and on trying to break me down, get me to agree. Which really pushes some button for me because I feel like I am being manipulated - which, unconsciously on his part, I am being. Even the tears and upset about everyone saying he is naughty was part of this unconscious manipulation campaign of his to get the toy he wanted. And I am ashamed to say that he did end up getting it, on the basis of a semi-compromise which is that we took all the money out of his piggy-bank to pay for it... </p><p></p><p>It's just the functioning that I read about so many times on this forum, the difficult child mindset of believing he must have what he wants and have it now, and for which I do not blame him morally because he is just a child but... it does really bug me. If anyone has any scintillating advice about this, or even any advice at all, gratefully received <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /></p><p></p><p>by the way, how is the ma and pa visit going?</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 523300, member: 11227"] Thanks for your response, Kttlc. Well, I guess it is a bit different. The problem isn't that I haven't understood J or he hasn't understood me. We understand each other perfectly: he wants something and I am saying no! He will not accept that no and will keep on and on trying to break me down, get me to agree. Which really pushes some button for me because I feel like I am being manipulated - which, unconsciously on his part, I am being. Even the tears and upset about everyone saying he is naughty was part of this unconscious manipulation campaign of his to get the toy he wanted. And I am ashamed to say that he did end up getting it, on the basis of a semi-compromise which is that we took all the money out of his piggy-bank to pay for it... It's just the functioning that I read about so many times on this forum, the difficult child mindset of believing he must have what he wants and have it now, and for which I do not blame him morally because he is just a child but... it does really bug me. If anyone has any scintillating advice about this, or even any advice at all, gratefully received :) by the way, how is the ma and pa visit going? [/QUOTE]
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