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Substance Abuse
Dropped son off at hospital this morning
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<blockquote data-quote="New Leaf" data-source="post: 678896" data-attributes="member: 19522"><p>Hi RN, I am sorry for your hard day yesterday, and for all of the stuff leading up to this. It is true, nothing changes if nothing changes.......</p><p>20 is so young, but an adult in the eyes of the law. I can see your concern about making him leave the house, as you have said, he has no place to go. The hard part of all of this is that while in our homes, our d cs use this as an <em>easy route to continue as is.</em> It is a rock and a hard place.</p><p>But, one way to look at it, is that by<em> housing our addicted children</em>, we are basically <em>funding their habit</em>.</p><p>They do not have the responsibility of taking care of themselves.</p><p>They use this as a license to do what they want.</p><p>What they want, is to get high.</p><p> RN, please don't get me wrong, but when we give kids these ultimatums, if we don't act on them, then things <em>just get worse</em>.<em> It will be a joke to him</em>. He will take advantage of you. It happened to me. Unfortunately, when our d cs are in the throes of addiction, drugs become #1, everything and everybody becomes secondary.</p><p> This is theft. Fraud. You can press charges. You have the prescription container and it is traceable to him. It sounds drastic, but I am saying this because it seems you are willing to have him picked up on the outstanding warrant.</p><p>I will tell you that I have often seen jail as a means for my two to wake up. <em>Wished </em>they would go to jail. What kind of mother wishes that?</p><p>A mother of drug addicts..........me.</p><p></p><p>If you do not go this route and son is still living with you, make sure you lock all of your valuables up, and watch your mail, because these kids can get credit card numbers off of statements. No one ever imagines their own, stealing from them, but it happens to the nth degree. I had a few treasured heirloom rings stolen. They were not of much monetary value, but were in my family for generations. It was heartbreaking to know that one of my children did this, pawned them, for drugs.</p><p>My husband had a 25 year collection of found rings and jewelry, <em>gone,</em> we came home to the little safe they were in, pried open.</p><p>Of course "No one did it". "We must have been robbed....."</p><p></p><p>We were, by our children.</p><p></p><p>Mom gave me a gold pocket watch from my great great grandfather, I returned it to her, because I did not want the same to happen.</p><p>My two have broken into my home.</p><p>I have come home from work to find meth addicts in my back yard.</p><p>This is all very frightening.</p><p>This is what can happen when our addicted d cs live with us.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry RN, it is all so difficult. It is hurtful and distressing and damages our hearts and health. I know most of your concerns are due to your sons mental health issues, but other moms will tell you that even adult children with these issues are responsible for their choices and have got to learn how to walk a better path. Most of our kids, mh issues or not, will not get better in our homes.</p><p></p><p>It is a failure to launch.</p><p></p><p>If your son has no where else to go, there are options for him out there. Shelters, Salvation Army rehabs. It is not what we imagine for our kids, but if they will not follow house rules, tow the line, then what else can we do? It becomes a matter of our own safety and self respect. The kids continue on this path of self destruction and disrespect in our homes.</p><p></p><p>We are the only ones who can stand up and say "No more, this will not happen in my home."</p><p>Parents will tell you that things began to change, when they did this.</p><p></p><p>What begins to change is that we get our lives back.</p><p></p><p>Whether or not the kids change, <em>is completely up to them.</em></p><p></p><p>We have no control over their lives and their choices.</p><p></p><p>This is a lot to think on RN. I know it is very, very hard. You are here now, reading and posting. Keep that up, it is so helpful to know we are not alone in this.</p><p></p><p>Change comes one small step at a time.</p><p></p><p>I am glad you have your husband to help you walk through all of this. Hold on to one another and keep communication open. Go to meetings, al anon or nar anon. I went to a counselor to help get my head on straight.</p><p></p><p>Work on you, educate yourself about addiction. I am sure you already have done this, considering it has been five years.</p><p></p><p>The choices you make on how you will deal with this are your own. We are not experts here. Just moms and dads who have walked similar journeys, at different places on the path. Use the advice that works for you. Know that we all are sharing our stories, not only because we care, but also because it helps us as well........</p><p></p><p>I am wishing you strength. I know you are in a very tough place right now. Take things slow and think things through. Take time for yourself, you have value and you matter.</p><p></p><p>Most of all know that you are not alone.</p><p></p><p>(((HUGS)))</p><p>leafy</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="New Leaf, post: 678896, member: 19522"] Hi RN, I am sorry for your hard day yesterday, and for all of the stuff leading up to this. It is true, nothing changes if nothing changes....... 20 is so young, but an adult in the eyes of the law. I can see your concern about making him leave the house, as you have said, he has no place to go. The hard part of all of this is that while in our homes, our d cs use this as an [I]easy route to continue as is.[/I] It is a rock and a hard place. But, one way to look at it, is that by[I] housing our addicted children[/I], we are basically [I]funding their habit[/I]. They do not have the responsibility of taking care of themselves. They use this as a license to do what they want. What they want, is to get high. RN, please don't get me wrong, but when we give kids these ultimatums, if we don't act on them, then things [I]just get worse[/I].[I] It will be a joke to him[/I]. He will take advantage of you. It happened to me. Unfortunately, when our d cs are in the throes of addiction, drugs become #1, everything and everybody becomes secondary. This is theft. Fraud. You can press charges. You have the prescription container and it is traceable to him. It sounds drastic, but I am saying this because it seems you are willing to have him picked up on the outstanding warrant. I will tell you that I have often seen jail as a means for my two to wake up. [I]Wished [/I]they would go to jail. What kind of mother wishes that? A mother of drug addicts..........me. If you do not go this route and son is still living with you, make sure you lock all of your valuables up, and watch your mail, because these kids can get credit card numbers off of statements. No one ever imagines their own, stealing from them, but it happens to the nth degree. I had a few treasured heirloom rings stolen. They were not of much monetary value, but were in my family for generations. It was heartbreaking to know that one of my children did this, pawned them, for drugs. My husband had a 25 year collection of found rings and jewelry, [I]gone,[/I] we came home to the little safe they were in, pried open. Of course "No one did it". "We must have been robbed....." We were, by our children. Mom gave me a gold pocket watch from my great great grandfather, I returned it to her, because I did not want the same to happen. My two have broken into my home. I have come home from work to find meth addicts in my back yard. This is all very frightening. This is what can happen when our addicted d cs live with us. I am sorry RN, it is all so difficult. It is hurtful and distressing and damages our hearts and health. I know most of your concerns are due to your sons mental health issues, but other moms will tell you that even adult children with these issues are responsible for their choices and have got to learn how to walk a better path. Most of our kids, mh issues or not, will not get better in our homes. It is a failure to launch. If your son has no where else to go, there are options for him out there. Shelters, Salvation Army rehabs. It is not what we imagine for our kids, but if they will not follow house rules, tow the line, then what else can we do? It becomes a matter of our own safety and self respect. The kids continue on this path of self destruction and disrespect in our homes. We are the only ones who can stand up and say "No more, this will not happen in my home." Parents will tell you that things began to change, when they did this. What begins to change is that we get our lives back. Whether or not the kids change, [I]is completely up to them.[/I] We have no control over their lives and their choices. This is a lot to think on RN. I know it is very, very hard. You are here now, reading and posting. Keep that up, it is so helpful to know we are not alone in this. Change comes one small step at a time. I am glad you have your husband to help you walk through all of this. Hold on to one another and keep communication open. Go to meetings, al anon or nar anon. I went to a counselor to help get my head on straight. Work on you, educate yourself about addiction. I am sure you already have done this, considering it has been five years. The choices you make on how you will deal with this are your own. We are not experts here. Just moms and dads who have walked similar journeys, at different places on the path. Use the advice that works for you. Know that we all are sharing our stories, not only because we care, but also because it helps us as well........ I am wishing you strength. I know you are in a very tough place right now. Take things slow and think things through. Take time for yourself, you have value and you matter. Most of all know that you are not alone. (((HUGS))) leafy [/QUOTE]
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Dropped son off at hospital this morning
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