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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 155405" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>I think you made a wise decision. I hope you didn't give him a free day, though - misbehaviour should never be an excuse to get out of schoolwork. When difficult child 3 began to miss school for various reasons and I could never tell if he was genuine or not, I set in place the rule, "school work during school hours." That way if he was genuinely ill then he could go to sleep (always a good indicator that he isn't well) and if he was OK then he could sit in bed and do some schoolwork or read a text book. Or even do some academic stuff on the computer.</p><p></p><p>Why is putting him back on medications not a good thing? If he had epilepsy then you surely wouldn't withhold medication? Or diabetes? Why is it, then, that we let people give us such a hard time when our kids are on medications for ADHD?</p><p></p><p>I'm also not in favour of medicating kids just because it's the fashionable thing to do, or "we must do something; medicating him is something; lets medicate him." I do think a lot of kids are put on stims purely because parents want to feel they're giving their kid every chance (and often, every excuse). However, if a kid really benefits from it, then chances are he needs it.</p><p></p><p>We put difficult child 3 on stims when he was three and a half. This horrified a lot of people. We avoided telling people but of course in a small town, word gets around. Because he was attending pre-school at the time, teachers there, aides etc who didn't approve would tell us in no uncertain terms. But the positive difference it made to difficult child 3 couldn't be denied.</p><p>When he started school he was 5 - still very young to be on stims. His teacher was disapproving - until the day we forgot his morning medications. She changed her tune fast, on the topic of medicating kids who really need it.</p><p></p><p>difficult child 3's best friend was clearly very similar to difficult child 3 - autistic with ADHD. But his mother was being browbeaten by friends who felt that natural was best - especially if they sold it to her, at exorbitant prices. So he didn't get put on medications until last year. His teachers were ecstatic at the improvement in his behaviour and attention. The boy came home from school and said, "It's wonderful, Mum! There is so much interesting stuff at school!" He was at last 'waking up' and discovering that there is a world out there to learn about.</p><p></p><p>She takes him off medications on weekends and in holidays. She also will skip his medications if he seems to be doing OK in the mornings before school. Just about every time, the school complains. And it all comes from her lack of confidence in the wisdom of medicating him, because of all the people in her ear, people who really haven't got any medical training or any clue of just what her son needs.</p><p></p><p>If your son copes much better on medications, then unless there is a very strong reason not to dose him, I would do it. It's hard enough being a kid, we shouldn't make life even more difficult by not allowing every help they can legitimately use, especially if they need it. If it's a cold day, I'm not going to say, "My son should learn to go without his warm clothing, there are people in this world who regularly go without and they learn to cope really well. My son must also learn to cope, it will toughen him up."</p><p>No, I'd rather my son is warmly dressed so he isn't putting all his effort into trying to keep warm, but instead can better keep his mind on the job he's supposed to be doing.</p><p></p><p>Of course, if it's a hot day, I won't make him wear an overcoat... instead, we give them what is appropriate and necessary, for them and for their situation.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 155405, member: 1991"] I think you made a wise decision. I hope you didn't give him a free day, though - misbehaviour should never be an excuse to get out of schoolwork. When difficult child 3 began to miss school for various reasons and I could never tell if he was genuine or not, I set in place the rule, "school work during school hours." That way if he was genuinely ill then he could go to sleep (always a good indicator that he isn't well) and if he was OK then he could sit in bed and do some schoolwork or read a text book. Or even do some academic stuff on the computer. Why is putting him back on medications not a good thing? If he had epilepsy then you surely wouldn't withhold medication? Or diabetes? Why is it, then, that we let people give us such a hard time when our kids are on medications for ADHD? I'm also not in favour of medicating kids just because it's the fashionable thing to do, or "we must do something; medicating him is something; lets medicate him." I do think a lot of kids are put on stims purely because parents want to feel they're giving their kid every chance (and often, every excuse). However, if a kid really benefits from it, then chances are he needs it. We put difficult child 3 on stims when he was three and a half. This horrified a lot of people. We avoided telling people but of course in a small town, word gets around. Because he was attending pre-school at the time, teachers there, aides etc who didn't approve would tell us in no uncertain terms. But the positive difference it made to difficult child 3 couldn't be denied. When he started school he was 5 - still very young to be on stims. His teacher was disapproving - until the day we forgot his morning medications. She changed her tune fast, on the topic of medicating kids who really need it. difficult child 3's best friend was clearly very similar to difficult child 3 - autistic with ADHD. But his mother was being browbeaten by friends who felt that natural was best - especially if they sold it to her, at exorbitant prices. So he didn't get put on medications until last year. His teachers were ecstatic at the improvement in his behaviour and attention. The boy came home from school and said, "It's wonderful, Mum! There is so much interesting stuff at school!" He was at last 'waking up' and discovering that there is a world out there to learn about. She takes him off medications on weekends and in holidays. She also will skip his medications if he seems to be doing OK in the mornings before school. Just about every time, the school complains. And it all comes from her lack of confidence in the wisdom of medicating him, because of all the people in her ear, people who really haven't got any medical training or any clue of just what her son needs. If your son copes much better on medications, then unless there is a very strong reason not to dose him, I would do it. It's hard enough being a kid, we shouldn't make life even more difficult by not allowing every help they can legitimately use, especially if they need it. If it's a cold day, I'm not going to say, "My son should learn to go without his warm clothing, there are people in this world who regularly go without and they learn to cope really well. My son must also learn to cope, it will toughen him up." No, I'd rather my son is warmly dressed so he isn't putting all his effort into trying to keep warm, but instead can better keep his mind on the job he's supposed to be doing. Of course, if it's a hot day, I won't make him wear an overcoat... instead, we give them what is appropriate and necessary, for them and for their situation. Marg [/QUOTE]
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