Stang - OH YOU ARE BAAAAAAAd.....df said TO THE CORNER.
Donna - I think there is a person that does come from the foster group place and it's all quite an elaborate smoke and mirrors game if you ask me. The last time we had minor problems with the way things were handled we were invited to a meeting at the foster care agency - and as I sat there - the office staff came out with a small cake, a sparkler candle and a certificate. THey handed the foster Dad the certificate and in front of us said "FOSTER PARENTS OF THE MONTH AGAIN."
DF just rolled his eyes - and said - "So how many times have you gotten foster parent of the year? Then under his breath "Whenever there is a problem with a parent?" SO they're all in it together. RIght now the state of SC is being forced to cut the budge about 121 million dollars. IT's a fine balancing act to get services and NOT make people so angry that you loose them. Believe me - I know. I reported that horrid group home that Dude stayed in - no running water, food, toilet - no transportation, no school....kids getting choked - and animals standing for weeks at a time in a small pen in feeces and urine......THe place was a fire trap - and yes it got reviewed - but only AFTER the owners were contacted by P&A (Protection and Advocacy) DSS, The licensing board for Residential Treatment Center (RTC)'s, heck even animal control called them to say "Um we're coming out (wink wink) next week to look at the animals. So everyone that did come out - gave at least a weeks notice to the owner.
They did initially shut him down. He had painted, hauled off the garbage, gotten food in the house, taken the logging chain off the fridge, sprayed for bugs, bought new beds and gotten linens from the Salvation army. When the people got there to inspect the place? Only the MINOR things were missing - like working windows, fire escape ladders, smoke detectors, fire extinguishers...things like that. So they closed him and then he filed under a new name, reopened a week later - and had younger kids there until his wife died (or was poisoned with too much insulin) and he started funding his girlfriends crack habit and didn't want the hassle. Money yes...hassle no. When I called each of the agencies - I was politely told to mind my own business. WHen I called ANimal control I was told they found NO instance to remove any animals - I asked them to look for the dead donkey - who died from starvation - they said "Oh the man buried it and it died from old age. The donkey was 3 years old." That told me what I needed to know about how this state treats its fosters and Residential Treatment Center (RTC) places.
Nomad - as far as hiring an attorney? While I'm tempted to - Dude has said that he just wants to let this die down. I am trying to live by my own volition and allow my 18 year old child to manage his own life. He's the one that lives there; he's the one that has to decide if he wants to call the police. This time the police were called and he refused to press charges. The adult children were not drunk (that I'm aware of) when they attacked him and to my knowledge do not drink. I'm willing to allow this to all settle if Dude is BUT should there be an instance of further intimidation, violence or anything that continually stresses Dude out - HE has told the foster family that he will press charges. They did their best to try to make it seem like nothing went on, and I don't know how stupid these people are to think that Dude would NOT tell us what happened, but I saw first hand what character they really have when the Foster Dad called me yesterday and excpected me to belive his home grown version of their truth which was.....the porch lights got unplugged, the batter charger got plugged in to Dudes car, the man came out and plugged the lights in 3 times. Dude got mad, left the house, went next door, told the crazy neighbor that he was being treated unfairly - and she called the law. HE NEVER mentioned the fact that his daughter choked Dude or that his son punched an dkicked DUdes car, or that he and his family all 6 of them blocked DUde from leaving the house when he got upset about his shirts being markerd on with a HUGE X.....but....
When I said "WEll that's a pretty watered down version of what I heard from two other people who saw your family do (then told him what I knew and said I'd be getting a police report) he changed his story but NEVER admitted to seeing anything until I said flat out - DID YOU NOT SEE YOUR DAUGHTER CHOKE MY SON? DID YOU NOT YELL TO YOUR SON TO STOP NOW BEATING ON THE CAR because the cop was still out in the road and you all thought he left?" THe cop saw it all. THEN he said "WEll I might have seen...." and then tried to change the subject several times - but when I kept brining him back to it and FINALLY said - YOU can evade my question about your children all you want - but you will answer me. THEN he finally said "Well I am ashamed of my children and how they acted last night." He never admitted anything.
SO here in SC to prove it? LONG, costly........and in the end since they have a day care, and parents who NEED them, and my son has a record - we would loose. People like this only respond to loss of cash or income...and DUde is smart enough to know that now....and that's what would hurt them. If DUde reports this now? They will drag out every stinking wrong/bad thing he's done since he showed up there. If Dude lets this go and has a police report - and something happens again? He has the numbers to have enough investigations going on that it would shut that place down and they would loose income and NOW we (parents) know it, neighbors know it, Dude knows it and the police know it by formal record.
I'm happy letting Dude make his own choices on this, but will be watching a lot closer and THEY ALL know it.
As far as rehoming him? We called around yesterday and there is NO place close - so it would be square one for DUde - he'd be 100 miles away from here....there are NO temp. foster homes and NO temp crisis centers for 18 year olds without traveling some distance. Dude has a record and a lot of fosters will not take kids with a felony charge. Also if he were to be moved 100 miles away - there goes his job, and being close to his family.
ITs' really an awful catch 22 - and the system knows how to play this just about as well as we do.
(we need a smiley with a quivering bottom lip)
