N
Nomad
Guest
husband and I went to see the expert of all experts today. A therapist that we see periodically for advice who is almost famous in our area. She always does my heart good....she had a little different take on it all......wont go into all the details.
However, she did say that it would be much better for difficult child to buy into going to such a program.
Last night, difficult child vehemently explained that she did not want to go to a group home (was almost violent about it) and strongly said she didn't want anyone coming to her home...like a caseworker. difficult child has lots of fears about group homes based on some things she has heard...most, if not all of which, are ideas that are not true.
The therapist suggested that we work a plan with difficult child to loan her the money this one more time to go into an apt. with support services. Support services would include a housekeeper willing to spend a little time "teaching" difficult child to clean probably twice a month and a caseworker weekly.
We would not loan difficult child the money to get into an apt. this one last time, unless she agrees to 1) sign a contract agreeing that this is her last attempt at apt. living and 2) agree to support services. difficult child would sign an agreement/contract with us that if she is evicted from this apt. that she would go into a group home without argument.
In the mean time, I am to look into group homes and do my best to let difficult child know that we would not place her in a home that sounds like the ones she has heard about. If we find one that is particularly nice, we should try to get difficult child to visit.
A long time ago, I looked into group homes and support services and I was dismayed at how little was available. Unfortunately, I did not write down what I found.
First thing this morning, I called SSI, several state/social service agencies, the main university's program on autism, a well known group home in the next city, several agencies that work with parents with special needs children and the social worker helping difficult child to get a job ....asking about group homes and whether or not difficult child is entitled to any help getting a social worker, case worker, coach, etc to come to her home. All either said they didn't know or to leave a message. Out of the many messages I left, no one returned any of these calsl.
I did not get any information at all by day's end. I am hoping to get some information tomorrow or shortly thereafter.
We are meeting difficult child for breakfast tomorrow...we'll see if she goes for this proposal.
However, she did say that it would be much better for difficult child to buy into going to such a program.
Last night, difficult child vehemently explained that she did not want to go to a group home (was almost violent about it) and strongly said she didn't want anyone coming to her home...like a caseworker. difficult child has lots of fears about group homes based on some things she has heard...most, if not all of which, are ideas that are not true.
The therapist suggested that we work a plan with difficult child to loan her the money this one more time to go into an apt. with support services. Support services would include a housekeeper willing to spend a little time "teaching" difficult child to clean probably twice a month and a caseworker weekly.
We would not loan difficult child the money to get into an apt. this one last time, unless she agrees to 1) sign a contract agreeing that this is her last attempt at apt. living and 2) agree to support services. difficult child would sign an agreement/contract with us that if she is evicted from this apt. that she would go into a group home without argument.
In the mean time, I am to look into group homes and do my best to let difficult child know that we would not place her in a home that sounds like the ones she has heard about. If we find one that is particularly nice, we should try to get difficult child to visit.
A long time ago, I looked into group homes and support services and I was dismayed at how little was available. Unfortunately, I did not write down what I found.
First thing this morning, I called SSI, several state/social service agencies, the main university's program on autism, a well known group home in the next city, several agencies that work with parents with special needs children and the social worker helping difficult child to get a job ....asking about group homes and whether or not difficult child is entitled to any help getting a social worker, case worker, coach, etc to come to her home. All either said they didn't know or to leave a message. Out of the many messages I left, no one returned any of these calsl.
I did not get any information at all by day's end. I am hoping to get some information tomorrow or shortly thereafter.
We are meeting difficult child for breakfast tomorrow...we'll see if she goes for this proposal.
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N
Nomad
Guest
Oh....
She actually only does not have the money for rent, 'cause her SSI check comes in shortly after the first week of the month. She is slightly off. We could easily front her rent money and she could easily pay that back immediately. husband is the designated payee....he can pay himself back.
In terms of first month's deposit, she hasn't had any trouble getting this reduced or even eliminated due to the economy. difficult child likes working for husband and if she can work a deal with the new renter, than this would be helpful. If there is no deposit then with-i in one week of the new month, her debt would be paid off. IF there is a small deposit, she could pay off the deposit by working for husband. He happens to legimately need the work at the moment and was considering hiring a college student, but is willing to hire her for the job.
It would be very nice if with help difficult child is able to manage a place of her own, but we know that it's not very likely. Surely, it would be preferable...but again, not likely.
The therapist said that if she could slowly buy into the idea of going to a group home, she would be much less likely to balk, make life difficult for herself, the folks at the group home, us, etc. Much less likely to be a total failure.
This plan gives her one final opportunity to try living on her own, but with full and real knowledge and acceptance that this is it. It also buys me time to investigate group homes and if we see trouble ahead, encourage difficult child to visit.
We noticed that she was more honest with us the other night...a small window to talk about her disabilities and we did take advantage of it.
husband and I are talking this morning about adding to the contract her going to group therapy at the local university instead of seeing her current therapist. Group therapy might be better for her and it is less expensive. With a professional coach or caseworker coming to her home....this could be more practical for her immediate needs. Again, it would be very nice if it all worked out, but we are aware of the odds. The whole thing is a win/win scenario actually.
She will not get the money or support unless she verbalizes that this is the very last time and that she is willing to go into a group home if she is evicted from this new apartment...and yes, a repayment plan will be in the contract.
She actually only does not have the money for rent, 'cause her SSI check comes in shortly after the first week of the month. She is slightly off. We could easily front her rent money and she could easily pay that back immediately. husband is the designated payee....he can pay himself back.
In terms of first month's deposit, she hasn't had any trouble getting this reduced or even eliminated due to the economy. difficult child likes working for husband and if she can work a deal with the new renter, than this would be helpful. If there is no deposit then with-i in one week of the new month, her debt would be paid off. IF there is a small deposit, she could pay off the deposit by working for husband. He happens to legimately need the work at the moment and was considering hiring a college student, but is willing to hire her for the job.
It would be very nice if with help difficult child is able to manage a place of her own, but we know that it's not very likely. Surely, it would be preferable...but again, not likely.
The therapist said that if she could slowly buy into the idea of going to a group home, she would be much less likely to balk, make life difficult for herself, the folks at the group home, us, etc. Much less likely to be a total failure.
This plan gives her one final opportunity to try living on her own, but with full and real knowledge and acceptance that this is it. It also buys me time to investigate group homes and if we see trouble ahead, encourage difficult child to visit.
We noticed that she was more honest with us the other night...a small window to talk about her disabilities and we did take advantage of it.
husband and I are talking this morning about adding to the contract her going to group therapy at the local university instead of seeing her current therapist. Group therapy might be better for her and it is less expensive. With a professional coach or caseworker coming to her home....this could be more practical for her immediate needs. Again, it would be very nice if it all worked out, but we are aware of the odds. The whole thing is a win/win scenario actually.
She will not get the money or support unless she verbalizes that this is the very last time and that she is willing to go into a group home if she is evicted from this new apartment...and yes, a repayment plan will be in the contract.
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