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easter at the loony bin
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<blockquote data-quote="Malika" data-source="post: 422466" data-attributes="member: 11227"><p>It is a question of boundaries. Janet talked about feeling uneasy and unhappy about Billie (and Billy? Must get confusing at times <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite1" alt=":)" title="Smile :)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=":)" /> ) asking questions to do with her finances. A stepping across a certain boundary. It is the same thing here. However "right" she may be in her discipline techniques, it is inappropriate to step across her daughter-in-law to implement them with the latter's daughter. Which is not to say it doesn't happen all the time... And I think where there is a relationship of basic trust and affection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, no harm done... It would probably be appreciated. But here... Star is surely right. It will not improve the situation or change anything... </p><p>I'm afraid there is no one way to parent... there are different approaches, different schools of though, all respectable and serious - and actually radically different. In the end, there is what works. And that is something that others cannot really say from the outside - it is a unique dynamic with a particular child. It doesn't sound as if what is happening with Hailie is good or successful but, to play devil's advocate, we are only getting Janet's side of the story. Inevitably, there will be other sides to that story... Billie sounds as if she is in need of help and guidance in terms of her parenting... If Janet could befriend her, maybe she could offer that help and guidance in ways that Billie could accept and appropriate. But I totally understand that that is yet another of things to file under Easy To Say and Hard To Do...</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Malika, post: 422466, member: 11227"] It is a question of boundaries. Janet talked about feeling uneasy and unhappy about Billie (and Billy? Must get confusing at times :-) ) asking questions to do with her finances. A stepping across a certain boundary. It is the same thing here. However "right" she may be in her discipline techniques, it is inappropriate to step across her daughter-in-law to implement them with the latter's daughter. Which is not to say it doesn't happen all the time... And I think where there is a relationship of basic trust and affection between mother-in-law and daughter-in-law, no harm done... It would probably be appreciated. But here... Star is surely right. It will not improve the situation or change anything... I'm afraid there is no one way to parent... there are different approaches, different schools of though, all respectable and serious - and actually radically different. In the end, there is what works. And that is something that others cannot really say from the outside - it is a unique dynamic with a particular child. It doesn't sound as if what is happening with Hailie is good or successful but, to play devil's advocate, we are only getting Janet's side of the story. Inevitably, there will be other sides to that story... Billie sounds as if she is in need of help and guidance in terms of her parenting... If Janet could befriend her, maybe she could offer that help and guidance in ways that Billie could accept and appropriate. But I totally understand that that is yet another of things to file under Easy To Say and Hard To Do... [/QUOTE]
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