easy child 2 "girl stuff" question.

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Shari, Feb 4, 2010.

  1. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    easy child 2 has had her period for well over a year now.
    Previously, if she had any leaks, she would rinse out her undies and make some attempt to clean them. Recently, though, she's just getting them wet under the faucet and leaving them lie. Last night in the bathtub, this morning in the sink.
    How do you other moms handle this issue?
    If it matters, we have a 1 bathroom house.
  2. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    I don't know? I am still dealing with "Skiddies" all tangled up in the pants. Left lying on the floor. Shrug
  3. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    I havent had to deal with this...but...just thinking outloud...could you maybe keep a small container like a diaper wipe box or something along that size in the bathroom with oxyclean and water in it say under the sink and tell her to just insert said undies in there and you will collect them from there for washing?

    Maybe a slightly bigger container if she is there longer but if she is only there a night or two or three Im thinking a small container is big enough for a few pairs of panties.
  4. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not


    I feel for you. I wish I knew a way to solve this problem, too.

    Brace yourself, this is gross:

    When difficult child first started having her period, we went over very carefully how to take care of any 'accidents'. Well, she would just get the undies wet and then just leave them all over the bathroom (the sink, the counter, the tub--gross!!).

    So we reviewed the instructions again. Same result.

    It got to the point where even her little brother began giving her tips for washing instead of just leaving them in the sink!

    So, she started just throwing them away. This was great until she realized that she was rapidly running out of underpants.

    So then she began just balling them up and stuffing them under the bed. How do I know? The dog started dragging these nasty panties out to the living room and chewed the crotches out of them (she didn't actually eat them, just chewed them up and left the little nasty bits all over the living room carpet). GAG!!!

    I almost lost my lunch (literally) when I found that mess!!!

    So now we are back to explaining the process for properly washing them out--AGAIN!

    If I find something that works, I will let you know.

    I can also let you borrow the dog, if you feel that will be any incentive...

  5. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    She lives in a house of men....and she doesn't mind leaving them lying on the bathroom counter, floor, tub, wherever...I can't fathom having the dog eat them would be anymore of an incentive...lol

    And what blows me away is...she won't rinse them out if she pees herself...yet she leaves these lying everywhere...

    I like Janet's idea.
  6. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Unfortunately, I think you just need to keep hammering home the concept of cleaning up after herself. YOu can ask her, "If it were another 'particular substance' from a nearby area, would you be so cavalier about leaving it in the bathtub of sink for everyone to see?" I would think not.

    After that, I say you go out to the store and buy her special panties and call them her 'period panties' - ones she only wears when she is bleeding more heavily than the rest of the time.

    Another option is to buy liners to wear ALL THE TIME. Kotex makes a fabulous liner which is a little more heavier than just your average every day thin liners. The Kotex liners I'm talking about come in tall plastic wrapped packaging and they are great because they are not bulky but add protection. So, if she's using tampons, the liner will add extra protection for accidents or leaks or she could use them on lighter days to prevent accidents onto her panties. Another liner that I bought by accident one time was the Serenity liners for incontinence - haha. They are heavier but thin and work really well for protection against accidents as well.

    Is the option of putting her on BCPs to help regulating her periods a consideration at all?
  7. DammitJanet

    DammitJanet Well-Known Member Staff Member

    Oh good heavens above! The stuff I missed not having girls...lol.

    I know so much about boys and all their doings but girls...they are aliens to me. Guess I better get to studying because Keyana is almost 4!
  8. Andy

    Andy Active Member

    I was thinking along the same lines as Janet - a bucket of water to place them in.

    One option would be that bucket to be in the laundry room. She can take those items to the bucket.

    I would most likely put the bucket in the tub so if it tipped over no biggie.
  9. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Now for us, the bucket is a bad idea because our laundry room is a converted office--and there is no slop-sink or drain...just the washer and dryer.

    We really need to find a way to convince difficult child that she just needs the wash the darn things out!

    (And by the way--the dog found another pair today. aarrgghhh! Figures!!)

  10. Mattsmom277

    Mattsmom277 Active Member

    I think having a set of "period panties" could help. Stains aren't a big deal for that time of the month, reserving unstained for daily use the rest of the month. She obviously doesn't want to take time/effort to scrub the stains out. So I would go with the theory it probably won't change soon. Perhaps a plastic bag in the cupboard in the bathroom beside her tampons/pads? You could make one small cupboard for the supplies (tampons, plastic bag and the container with the "period" panties, the clean ones I mean). Have her place her soiled underpants into the bag and take a fresh clean pair from the bin when she's taking care of hygiene stuff throughout the day. You could then just dump the soiled items with some bleach and soap into a small load of wash for just them. They may remain stained, but it would protect her regular undies supply and promote not leaving them around for others to stare at. The gross factor I would play up for sure.
    If it becomes a real probem that won't resolve, I would just be blunt. Its gross and its a horrid habit and its not something everyone should have to put up. Therefore until she can be responsible, you will take all her undies to a hiding spot and she can have only access to the pair she is wearing when it is that time of month. You will require her to ask you for clean panties when needed, and that she will have 10 minutes from the time you supply them, to have scrubbed the stains out if they are present, and to have placed them to the appropriate place for proper laundering. She'll hate it! Imagine as a teen saying "Mom, I need underwear" "Mom, I cleaned my dirty underwear". I bet she'd get with the program right quick, then give her undie supply back when she earns it, with a caution that first slip of leaving them around the house, it reverts to asking you.
  11. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    Oh, good idea MM227. I have done the "clothing library" for various members of my home for years...checkout required...

    I'm getting her a lidded bucket of Oxyclean to keep under the bathroom cabinet. She has 2 already stained pair of panties, at least, that I didn't bother to scrub out any better (and don't think I'm going to...this is something she was doing and has quit). I'll put them in her box of supplies and we'll see what happens.

    Thanks for the ideas guys...er, gals.
  12. Shari

    Shari IsItFridayYet?

    It wll be interesting, too, to see what "supplies" she brings back.

    I just went to put things away and she has NOTHING here. She has taken it all.
  13. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    I'm a mean person. My mom passed when I was 19 and my 2nd to youngest sister was 13. She would leave them in the same way for all of us to deal with. I asked over and over, demanded, threatened, threw away. You name it, I tried it.

    I finally got fed up, put them on a paper plate, put a knife, fork, ketchup, mayo, and bread on the table and waited for her to get home from school.

    I simply asked if she wanted a snack or if I was going to have to deal with this EVER again.

    She almost puked at the thought/sight of it.

    'Nuff said!

  14. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    A couple of suggestions to add to the others.

    First - I endorse the "keep nagging" option. Take the child by the hand, lead her to the dirty undies and stand there, making her do it right. Then walk the dirty laundry into the laundry room and put them where they are supposed to be. It is not YOUR job to scrub out stains from everyone else's laundry. How else are they going to learn how to do their own laundry when they are adults?

    Second - I would buy "Depends" full undies, if she can't do this. They are actually very effective. Or failing that, packets of disposable undies for period times. If periods are really heavy, she needs to talk to you about it because that can be a big problem. I remember going through some rough times where I was literally wearing multiple pads, or pads plus tampons and still having accidents. With hindsight, I should have seen a doctor. Only my parents didn't take me to doctors unless it was really serious. Come to think of it, my kidney problems were identified because I took myself to the doctors who ordered the tests that found it. I still went through the surgery on my parents' insurance (it was before we had our current public health system). But I digress - try Depends.

    THird - teach her some fast techniques for cleaning the undies quickly and easily, then equip your laundry with general supplies for making the job easier in other clothing areas too.

    Fast technique No 1 - when cleaning blood especially out of clothing (especially cotton or poly-cotton) use SOAP.
    Step 1 - rinse out the undies under the tap. If you hold the stain (especially if it's fresh) right against the stream under the tap, it can wash it out almost completely. But sometimes it's a bit stubborn. That's when you grab the cake of soap and rub it on the stain directly, like you're using the soap like it's a crayon and colouring in the undies. Then finger and thumb - rub to lather up the soap. Then rinse.
    That should be enough, even if the stain is not completely gone. There is still enough soap there as residue, for the washing machine to have a bit of extra help.

    Fast technique no 2 - wet the undies down and rinse. Then leave them to soak in enzyme soak or oxy-action.

    Fast technique no 3 - spray the stains with vinegar, then leave the clothing to soak.

    overall rule - ALWAYS USE COLD WATER! And when you do your laundry, cold-wash. At the most, tepid. Hot wash is only for grease removal in clothing where it's already been through a cold wash and got everything else out. Warm water cooks protein, and the human body puts out protein in a lot of its wastes. Cook it, and you're stuck with the stain (or the smell). Have you ever had a t-shirt which you wash thoroughly, then you put on and as it warms up on your body, it immediately begins to smell like bad BO? It's because the sweat got cooked in at an earlier stage. Vinegar can still help even if it gets this bad.

    The vinegar spray (or splash) - we keep a bottle of No Frills vinegar in the laundry. We have some in a spray bottle for ease of use. It's this vinegar we use for the Ham Bag (they should be rinsed in a mix of vinegar and water before being put over the ham). Use the vinegar spray on any bodily fluid whatsoever. I include sweat in this.
    To treat clothing - you spray with vinegar, then you can just dump it in the laundry tub (or washing machine) and leave it until washing day. Doesn't matter if it dries.
    If it's really bad - then spray with vinegar and use enzyme soak.

    I was once given a suit coat that was badly contaminated with cigarette smoke and perspiration. The coat was really revolting, and I was told to get it cleaned if I could, or throw it away (the expectation was that it would be thrown away).
    I soaked the whole coat in vinegar. Then I put it into a tepid bath with enzyme soak. A lot of it. After 24 hours, it went into the washing machine for a full COLD wash. You should have seen the colour of the water! YUK!
    The coat came out crumpled and still a bit smelly, so I repeated the process - vinegar soak, then enzyme soak, then another wash. This time the coat came out with no odour at all - no cigarette smoke smell, no perspiration smell. And a stronger shade of black - all the brown had come away in the wash.

    So if the method worked for that coat, it will work for anything.

  15. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    I angrily told L it was gross and to knock it off. I made sure that she knew it was socially unacceptable. She's still a pig, but not in my home.
  16. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Interesting...might be a cultural thing. I was so ashamed of stained undies that I would sneak off to wash them out myself before I put them in the laundry.

    I didn't want anyone else to see the stains. I used to use dish detergent (washing up liquid) to clean away the stains and then, once the stains were gone, I'd put the laundry in to wash.

    Once I got wise to this, I held back several pairs of undies with any residual staining to be used for "period panties". I stll have some and will do so until I am SURE I am no longer cycling (this month's unwelcome return turned out to be a day of spotting)
  17. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    Isn't that funny? My mother was part of the "so ashamed" club that she taught my sisters and I to keep everything out of sight at all times. Products (or even the wrappers, heaven forbid!) were NEVER allowed to be thrown in the trash. We had to hide them in our bedrooms and then find a moment to wrap them in brown paper and sneak them out to the garbage cans at the street when nobody was looking. It was so extreme! like being a "ninja" of feminine hygiene.

    So now here I am trying to be a bit more reasonable with my own daughter...and she has taken it to the other extreme.


  18. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Well, I didn't have to hide used supplies until I could get sneak them out into the garbage.

    It was more that periods were something everyone knew we women had; but it wasn't something to be discussed.

    I never felt shamed by someone outside, and in fact, my mother had a very serious discussion with me about birth control and the like, which at eleven freaked me out a bit.

    It was simply a PRIVATE thing to be kept private. It was certainly not something I wanted my dad to see if he took his turn doing the laundry.
  19. DaisyFace

    DaisyFace Love me...Love me not

    I agree with that. It IS a private thing and should be kept private. Politely discreet.

    My mother was a little too extreme. There's private and discreet....and then there's just crazy.


  20. Marguerite

    Marguerite Active Member

    Nevertheless, DaisyFace - your mother's ninja approach might be all that will work here. Maybe somewhere between the two extremes, the girls could get the message.