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easy child acting like difficult child this weekend
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<blockquote data-quote="rejectedmom" data-source="post: 50322" data-attributes="member: 2315"><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I was so traumatized from difficult child I tended to over react to small things... </p><p> </div></div></p><p></p><p>I think that is fairly typical of parents who have such different children.</p><p></p><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> As easy child got older he would use guilt. It was the "difficult child never has to worry about XYZ"...I told him that although he was a good kid and a easy child that he wasn't done cooking and it was a parents job to guide him and make him aware of better choices. Just because he was a easy child didn't mean he didn't need parenting. Consequences are what we use to help him be aware of his choice. </p><p></div></div> </p><p></p><p>I cannot tell you how many times I have told my kids both easy child and difficult child that this is my job and that i would be an irresponsible parent if I didn't speak up when they were on the wrong track.</p><p></p><p></p><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I like the conversational tone that DDD suggests. I try to keep an open attitude but I do have a tendency to resort to being authoritarian if I am surprised. </div></div> Well you are definately doing better than me cause I can do this even when I am not surprised.</p><p></p><p>I think parenting multiple children with a variety of different needs is a challenge that must be met with much grace, strength and flexibility. </p><p></p><p><div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I remind easy child that to those who are given much(compared to difficult child) that much is expected. He can't use the same ruler on his behavior as we do with difficult child. </div></div></p><p></p><p>I have said the same thing to my easy child. I also think communicating is critical in situations such as yours. I have gone back and apologized to my PCs when i realized that I had come down too hard onthem due to the stress that my difficult child's had imposed on the household. I found them to be very receptive and forgiving when I admitted my mistakes. When they used difficult child's as guidelines for their behaviors I would simply say "do you really want to be like difficult child? I expect more from you because you are capable of more. I only ask for your best effort whether it be your grades or your behavior." -RM</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="rejectedmom, post: 50322, member: 2315"] <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> I was so traumatized from difficult child I tended to over react to small things... </div></div> I think that is fairly typical of parents who have such different children. <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> As easy child got older he would use guilt. It was the "difficult child never has to worry about XYZ"...I told him that although he was a good kid and a easy child that he wasn't done cooking and it was a parents job to guide him and make him aware of better choices. Just because he was a easy child didn't mean he didn't need parenting. Consequences are what we use to help him be aware of his choice. </div></div> I cannot tell you how many times I have told my kids both easy child and difficult child that this is my job and that i would be an irresponsible parent if I didn't speak up when they were on the wrong track. <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I like the conversational tone that DDD suggests. I try to keep an open attitude but I do have a tendency to resort to being authoritarian if I am surprised. </div></div> Well you are definately doing better than me cause I can do this even when I am not surprised. I think parenting multiple children with a variety of different needs is a challenge that must be met with much grace, strength and flexibility. <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Fran</div><div class="ubbcode-body">I remind easy child that to those who are given much(compared to difficult child) that much is expected. He can't use the same ruler on his behavior as we do with difficult child. </div></div> I have said the same thing to my easy child. I also think communicating is critical in situations such as yours. I have gone back and apologized to my PCs when i realized that I had come down too hard onthem due to the stress that my difficult child's had imposed on the household. I found them to be very receptive and forgiving when I admitted my mistakes. When they used difficult child's as guidelines for their behaviors I would simply say "do you really want to be like difficult child? I expect more from you because you are capable of more. I only ask for your best effort whether it be your grades or your behavior." -RM [/QUOTE]
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easy child acting like difficult child this weekend
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