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easy child daughter having a hard time
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<blockquote data-quote="hearts and roses" data-source="post: 166678" data-attributes="member: 2211"><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">My H is a dry drunk. He hasn't had alcohol since December 2006 and while I am proud of him for that (and he claims he wants no part of it either), I am concerned because we've been down this path before and I know it is only a matter of time because he is not in any kind of program. He sees a counselor occasionally and although the counselor suggested AA, my H is resistant to attending meetings.</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">The other day, after a grueling but mere 3 hour drive through NY, he said, "God if I still drank, I'd want a cold cocktail right now". Of course, alarm bells went off in my head!! </span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">I know that as a non-alcoholic living with an alcoholic it is easy to take on more responsibility for the alcoholic's drinking. And that it's not up to her to make him stop and likewise, it's not up to you to make her see the light or hit an al-anon meeting. HOWEVER, I do not see the harm in perhaps picking her up a copy of good reading material relative to her position with her H. "Co-dependent No More" helped me a bit. Also, "The ACOA's Guide to Raising Healthy Children" REALLY REALLY helped me a lot considering that my H was an active drinker while my dds' were growing up. I often felt like I was doing cartwheels to bring a little 'normal' to our home despite my H's alcoholism. One or both of those books (and I'm sure there are thousands!) may help her to stop blaming herself and start putting the onus back on her H. You could simply give them to her without saying a word - just tell her you thought of her and H..."take what you want, leave the rest".</span></span></span></p><p> </p><p><span style="font-family: 'Garamond'"><span style="font-size: 12px"><span style="color: purple">Sending hugs, enjoy your time with the grandkiddies. </span></span></span></p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="hearts and roses, post: 166678, member: 2211"] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]My H is a dry drunk. He hasn't had alcohol since December 2006 and while I am proud of him for that (and he claims he wants no part of it either), I am concerned because we've been down this path before and I know it is only a matter of time because he is not in any kind of program. He sees a counselor occasionally and although the counselor suggested AA, my H is resistant to attending meetings.[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]The other day, after a grueling but mere 3 hour drive through NY, he said, "God if I still drank, I'd want a cold cocktail right now". Of course, alarm bells went off in my head!! [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]I know that as a non-alcoholic living with an alcoholic it is easy to take on more responsibility for the alcoholic's drinking. And that it's not up to her to make him stop and likewise, it's not up to you to make her see the light or hit an al-anon meeting. HOWEVER, I do not see the harm in perhaps picking her up a copy of good reading material relative to her position with her H. "Co-dependent No More" helped me a bit. Also, "The ACOA's Guide to Raising Healthy Children" REALLY REALLY helped me a lot considering that my H was an active drinker while my dds' were growing up. I often felt like I was doing cartwheels to bring a little 'normal' to our home despite my H's alcoholism. One or both of those books (and I'm sure there are thousands!) may help her to stop blaming herself and start putting the onus back on her H. You could simply give them to her without saying a word - just tell her you thought of her and H..."take what you want, leave the rest".[/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [FONT=Garamond][SIZE=3][COLOR=purple]Sending hugs, enjoy your time with the grandkiddies. [/COLOR][/SIZE][/FONT] [/QUOTE]
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