easy child has "come out" and now I have some questions...

[svengandhi]

I am sorry that your husband is being so judgmental about your daughter. If she is truly gay, it is not a conscious choice. I believe that some people are genetically programmed to become gay (I think of men who are overtly feminine in this category). I also believe that some people become gay for other reasons and the possibility raised about your daughter subconsciously choosing a different type of R from yours and husband's makes sense.

Your daughter is very young and this could also just be a phase. My daughter has a friend who "came out" at 15 and now at 18, is seriously boy crazy and says that being gay was just something she thought would be cool at the time. This girl's best friend at the time is a gay young man who came out at the same time. I have read that many girls experiment with same sex but then switch to men, though frankly I never did and my daughter (16) says that she never has, either.

As for having sex, I don't know that 16 year old girls are having more or less sex with each other than with boys. The mother of the girl I mentioned above told me that at least, she didn't have to worry about her daughter getting pregnant if she was sleeping with girls!

You are reacting as a loving mother and I hope that you will be able to convince your husband that your daughter's preference is not a reflection on him or his parenting. How would he like it if she was with a boy who beat her and got her hooked on drugs? Would that be preferable to her being with a girl who treats her well?

I have not faced this issue yet, but 3 of my kids are really too young to know yet, so I might. I hope to have the same grace and acceptance that you do.

 

[Jungleland]

Tammy,

This is a tough thing for me as I am a very accepting person and my faith does not accept gay relationships. This is so hard because I feel as long a true love. with respect and happiness is the main core of a relationship, the gender shouldn't matter. So, I won't ever be able to be baptised in my faith.

easy child 1's best friend growing up ended up choosing a woman for her life partner. They are happy, sweet, community minded, wonderful gals who have now adopted a set of twins. I am so happy for them, as is easy child 1. We get to visit several times a year and I never have felt uncomfortable. However, several of her other friends have brought their hubbies or significant others over to meet their "other mom" and there are a few that make me very uncomfortable.

So, long story short, I am sorry your husband is being closed minded, but hopefully, with time, he will come to see that your daughter's happiness is much more important than the gender of the person she loves.

And, man oh man, is Joey one cutie patootie!!!!!!!! Granny's not too bad herself, lol!!

Hugs and love,
Vickie