easy child is home for spring break

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by StressedM0mma, Mar 17, 2013.

  1. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    And I am so happy to see her. But why am I sitting here in tears? I have been able to "handle" all of difficult child's behaviors and just kind of write it off I guess. But with easy child here, I can see how bad it is. And, I feel so bad that easy child had to come home to this. I have a loving sweet independent daughter, and one that will likely flunk out of H.S. and is so selfish that no one wants to be around her. And, easy child is already trying so hard with difficult child. She asked her to go shopping today. easy child said she is going to try to talk to her to see if she can figure out what is going on.

    I guess with easy child home, I cannot pretend that difficult child is doing well, or even OK. It is a major "smack in the face" that difficult child may never do much with her life. How I hope that I am wrong.
  2. Rabbit

    Rabbit Member

    Sending Hugs!
  3. Winnielg

    Winnielg New Member

    Good luck. Hang in there!
  4. JJJ

    JJJ Active Member

    Please do not look so far into the future! At your difficult child's age, I was so depressed that it was a miracle that I got out of bed at all. It took me a bit longer than my peers but I did eventually finish college and join the real world.

    Parenting difficult child's has taught me that, unlike pcs, the future has to be looked at in weeks (or sometimes days) instead of years.
  5. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Thanks JJJ. I am usually much better at going day by day it is just with easy child sitting right here telling me all of these wonderful things, and seeing how well she is doing, it shows me how dysfunctional difficult child really is. I guess I have been able to put my head in the sand a little since easy child has been gone. I pray daily that difficult child will be able to get her act together, and be an independent adult. Right now, I just want her to have passing grade for this quarter.
  6. Winnielg

    Winnielg New Member

    I came to the realization JJJ spelled out this year. She is so right. Now I look at how we will get thru this month and what goals should be set for things like executive function skills.
  7. buddy

    buddy New Member

    It does punch us in the stomach once in a while though. I get that.
    Enjoy your time with easy child! Use her to re-energize yourself!
  8. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Thanks Buddy. And, that punch in the stomach is what caught me so off guard. I plan on spending some good one on one quality time with easy child this week. She wants to go get her hair cut, shop for spring clothes, and she needs to get her eyes checked. I am hoping we can go out to lunch or breakfast once or twice too. She is such a sweet caring cheerful person that you can't help but be happy when she is around. Even difficult child seems happier.
  9. TerryJ2

    TerryJ2 Well-Known Member

    Awww, Stressed, I hear you! My easy child was home for spring break two wks ago. She comes into the house and chirps, "Hi!"
    difficult child comes into the house and usually doesn't say a word. When I ask him about his day, he snaps at me.
    I tell him I just want a normal conversation and he says he's tired and stressed.
    It is so different!
    When my easy child leaves, my heart feels like it weighs a ton, like there is really something heavy in there, like I ate too much or something.
    Hugs and strength.
  10. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    Thanks Terry. It is nice know that others understand. Friends say "sorry" or I get it" but they really don't. I feel the exact same way when my easy child leaves. My difficult child acts the same way when she gets home. And when I ask how her day was I get "fine." or "I don't have anything to talk about."

    husband even noticed the difference with easy child home. And, he doesn't notice much.
  11. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Two years ago, or even a year ago, I could have said something similar.
    With a difficult child... sometimes a year or 6 months or a particular intervention is all it takes to make a major difference on prognosis. We just don't know how many other "6 months" we have to go through to GET to the one that is the turning point.
  12. StressedM0mma

    StressedM0mma Active Member

    IC, thanks for the hope. husband was talking the other day about "the graduation countdown" and I explained to him that I cannot look that far ahead. That I can barely look to the next day. What you said helps me remember that she can make a turnaround. I pray rattle dance and pretzel everyday that she will manage to become a productive adult.
  13. Winnielg

    Winnielg New Member

    I agree Insane not sure how
    Many more 6 month periods we can either. Of course we are at the end of rope now but that is how we felt and lived for the last few years. Sigh

    Hang in there stressed!
  14. Jody

    Jody Active Member

    Boy I know how you feel. When my easy child comes home, it's almost as if we are "normal" Usually. I always worry so much about her (easy child) because, life has been good but it's also been hard and the pessimistic in me worries that something will happen to her. Nothing that good could go well in my life. Sounds terrible, I know but it's lurking back there. have fun shopping and enjoying every moment you have with her. difficult child is usually more happy when her sister is home too. I am too hoping that difficult child can pass this semester, and not have to take the year over. If she does it's on her.