easy child is not the same kid

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Californiablonde, Apr 2, 2014.

  1. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    As before his gallbladder surgery. Gone is my sweet, loving, helpful, happy go lucky kid. He has been replaced with somebody moody, irritable, and depressed. I miss my old easy child. Since the surgery two and a half weeks ago, his appetite has been next to nothing. He has been skipping full meals. Sometimes he will completely skip breakfast and lunch, then barely pick at his dinner. Some nights he sleeps fine. Others he barely sleeps a couple hours. This morning he was up at 2:00 in the morning taking a bath due to not being able to sleep.

    He was incredibly moody and snappy with me when I got him up for school this morning. He has been irritable a lot since his surgery. His grades are slipping drastically. He is getting an F in math and has 13 zeros. He is getting a D- in Language Arts, which he usually excels at. His other grades are in danger as well. He has uncompleted work in most of his classes. Normally easy child cares about his grades. Any missing assignments he may have, he makes them up immediately once he is informed that his grade has gone down a notch. Lately he couldn't care less about his failing grades.

    He also hasn't been wanting to spend time with the family. We usually go grocery shopping together and he helps me out. Lately he's been sitting by himself in the car and making me go in by myself. We typically all watch TV together after school, but easy child has been hanging around in his room and not participating. He has been full of nothing but attitude when I try and talk to him. A couple of times he's even told me to shut up. I am actually enjoying difficult child's company more than his lately. I don't know what the doctors did to him when they took out his gallbladder, but I want my old boy back. I keep wating hoping things will go back to normal, but each day is the same. Has anybody ever heard of this type of behavior after surgery? It's like he's completely changed personalities.
     
  2. Castle Queen

    Castle Queen Warrior in training

    Poor easy child...I can imagine being in pain could do have a lot of bad side effects, including those you mention. I read your other post; I get so mad when doctors don't take our concerns seriously! Is there another dr he can see- perhaps his gastroenterologist? They need to do something to help with-his pain.
     
  3. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    He just saw his gastroenterologist last week. He isn't concerned either. He did run some extra blood work and told him to eat a low fat diet, but didn't really comment on his pain. I miss my happy go lucky kid. He's just not the same anymore, especially his attitude. He's so irritable and short tempered. Totally un easy child like, and it makes me sad.
     
  4. Confused

    Confused Guest

    Im so sorry hes still not feeling well. I have never been through a surgery and am sure its not easy esp for a child. What about a Pain Management Dr? I think thats what you call them, or an ex-ray just to make sure everything is ok? I hope they listen to him and you soon!
     
  5. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    So far we have seen his pediatrican, gastroenterologist, and surgeon. Nobody is concerned. They all say it takes time to heal, which I get, but he seriously changed personalities. I'm thinking maybe some of the irritability is due to his lack of sleep. I bought some Melatonin tonight and I am going to give him some to see if that helps. I just want my boy back!
     
  6. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Twelve was the age when I noticed that my boy children (not girls) sort of detached from being with the family as much. 36, who was joined at my hip and still is in a way, started hanging out in the basement, watching TV alone there, who knows what else? Even Sonic got more involved in other things. Scott was never home, always on his bike going here and there. I don't think that pulling away a bit is abnormal. He IS a teenager.

    I don't know why he is cranky. Maybe he doesn't feel well yet. Maybe it's his age too. That's when 36 got REALLY nasty. I ain't seen nuttin' yet until he hit 12/13. He was never pleasant to others, but he had been sort of like my buddy until then and after puberty kicked in, NOBODY was in his good graces. He also started doing more wrong things, such as rabid shoplifting, which he was very good at. His friends were awed because he could shoplift over and over again and never get caught. But he didn't get that daring until he was near his teens.

    Your son will probably never change to the bad as much as 36 did. He may just recovering from surgery plus increased hormones. Hopefully you'll have your easy child back to normal in a few weeks. Good luck :)
     
  7. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    I know some of it could be normal teenage behavior. I should try not taking it to personally, I guess. He's changing and it's too be expected. Still, when he told me to shut up I was hurt. He has been getting more of an attitude in the last several months, even before the surgery, but since the surgery it's more pronounced. Maybe I should just give him some more time to heal.
     
  8. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    easy child had another horrible night of sleep last night. His pediatrician told me I couldn't give him melatonin like I wanted to. I have no idea why. The bottle says it's for use for ages 12 and over. Anyway, he slept terribly and was incredibly difficult to wake up this morning for school. I hope and pray he eventually catches up on his sleep. His attitude is being severely affected. I just want my old boy back.
     
  9. busywend

    busywend Well-Known Member Staff Member

    What does he say? Have you pointed it out to him? Does he see his mood as different since his surgery?
     
  10. scaredofhim

    scaredofhim Member

    Maybe he is suffering from post-operative depression. There are many articles about it on the internet. Surgery is very disruptive to the body, and to the mind in some individuals and children can suffer from post-op depression. There are a few factors related to surgery than can cause it, but anesthesia is a common cause and so is pain. I am no doctor, but maybe this is something you can mention to your son's physician and have them look into it.
     
  11. Californiablonde

    Californiablonde Well-Known Member

    As a matter of fact my boyfriend just showed me an article online about post operative depression. I really think easy child has it. His grades are getting worse. He has C's D's and F's. A couple of months ago he was on the honor roll. He has several zeros in several different classes. Normally he checks his own grades online, and if he finds his grades start slipping he makes up the work immediately. During spring break he barely made any progress making up any of his work. It was like pulling teeth to get him to do anything. Totally not like him. Normally he prides himself on good grades. Depression may certainly be what he is experiencing right now. It's certainly something to bring up at his next psychiatrist appointment.
     
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