easy child is now officially a difficult child and I don't care

[Abbey]

Seriously. I don't care. I've mastered detachment in the grad level of course 404.

I'm so livid at this kid, but it's HIS problems, not mine anymore.

He was supposed to start college yesterday. To the best of my knowledge, it didn't happen. Let me backtrack.

We have been paying his cell phone for a couple of years. We had an agreement that when his contract was up on Sept. 17, he was on his own with it. Since we have moved, he has only answered our calls ONCE, and that was last night. I know he gets our messages because I know how cells work. If you leave a message, then call back, it goes directly to voicemail. Nope...not his. He listens, erases, then you can leave a new message. So yesterday I call and he actually answers. He's at work. (He's supposed to be at college.) I said, "You NEED to call me tonight as your cell is going to be cut off."

"What? I thought I had to December?"

"Nope...two days. Call tonight."

Did I get a call? Nada.

Let me backtrack a bit more. Before I called him, I check online my Cingular site. HE UPGRADED HIS FLIPPING PHONE TO A BLACKBERRY!!! That means another 2 year contract on his line.

I called Cingular and explained that he is NOT authorized to upgrade or do anything on this account. The account is in MY name, not his. Fortunately, they hear this all the time and reversed the contract and activation fees...and...will be shutting his line off in one day now. But, I have to pay for the phone. Nope. Not going to happen. YOU let him do this without my consent. They said they'd get back to me.

The whole thing boils down to one thing - girlfriend. Going to school means being a good 30 minutes away from her, getting rides, taking the bus, whatever. I don't really care. You don't want to go to college? Don't go, but you're not doing it on my dime. You flipping find out how to live, work, pay for your car that your bio mom cosigned for (CAN YOU SAY STUPID), pay insurance, cell bill, food, etc.

He was on a full ride scholarship and threw it away. What a stupid arse.

So, once again, I'm the evil step-mom. Well, I'm the one who raised your arse for the last 15 years, so take that and run with it. Now you won't be able to talk to chicky momma or go to school. Have fun making subs every day.

(sorry...small vent here. Where the heck is my corner?)

 

[hearts and roses]

I would be mad and disgusted and backing away as well, Abbey. This is his mess, let him clean it up. That's how I feel about my easy child right now. I see her making bad choices right this very minute but my hands are tied. They are old enough to learn thier own lessons.

Good luck with staying calm.

 

[Hound dog]

Good grief. Can't blame you for being furious. Stupid boy is thinking with the wrong head. The one without a brain. ugh!

Don't blame you for letting the chips fall where they may. I'd do the same. But boy is Mr. Love gonna regret this down the road.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

That takes some jujus to upgrade on your account when he knew it was being shut down anyway. And adding a blackberry adds services....gracious. I don't blame you for shutting that down. I know what it is like to stop school for a "love" interest. Stupid move. But of course he won't understand that. Stay strong.

beth

 

[Genny]

Sometimes being several states away is a good thing. Easier to detach that way. Somehow I have a feeling he'll be calling soon (when he needs money).
What does husband think about all this? I hope he's as flaming mad as you are! Oh well, maybe biomom will come to the rescue - until she gets stuck with his car payment

Okay, okay, I'm going to the corner now...

 

[butterflydreams]

I think you are doing the right thing. Throwing away a full ride scholarship! I would be livid. The whole upgrade the phone thing - unacceptable. Not only does that extend the contract but as mrscatinthehat said it adds services - I know I handle all the Blackberry's for my firm I work for.

Keep strong.
Hugs,

Christy

 

[gcvmom]

Sounds like he is overdue for a healthy dose of Natural Consequences! You don't need the corner, young lady -- you need a medal for putting up with his irresponsibility for so long! So vent away, it's been hard earned

 

[Abbey]

husband is on board, which is remarkable for him. I am also so pleased with Cingluar, aka AT&T, for responding in the way they did.

I'm just so PO'd that he couldn't just come clean and say...ma, I don't want to go to college. Fine. Work at your sub shop and have your fling of the month. But now you're on your own, live with a woman my age, don't have insurance, and I'm getting your mail forwarded here that says you haven't made a car payment yet. Not rocket scientist here. You're a grown man and need to adjust to that. I'm not paying your way anymore.

The thing that kills me is that when I called him, it wasn't to do the parent bag thing. It was just...hey, how are you doing? What's going on lately? Just to chat. He couldn't even respond to that. So be it. He will DIE without his cell, and I doubt he has money to start his own account.

Abbey

 

[DDD]

I've raised easy child's. I've raised difficult child's. The MOST stressful is a easy child that turns
into a difficult child. It's so almost impossible to believe!

I'm sorry you are having to transition but I am delighted to read that husband is
on board with you....that's a biggie! Hugs. DDD

 

[DammitJanet]

Im sorry abbey...gosh is this kid going to kick himself in the you know where one day. When he pulls his little head out of her you know what and gets over her and the sub shop gets old and the bills pile up...oh he is gonna so regret losing that full ride.

I am living that regret. I didnt really have a full ride but I had a really high SAT score and my dad would have paid for any college I wanted to go to. But oh no, Janet thought with that thing between her legs and wouldnt listen to anyone! So instead of going to college, I got pregnant, had brats, and lived a very hard and poor life. Oh why didnt I listen? LOL. I regret it so much today. If I had a do over, I wouldnt have had sex till I was 40!!!

 

[susiestar]

I am sorry Abbey. I know you had a lot of hopes and dreams for him. he will regret this, but hopefully he will find a way to cope.

The blackberry and extending the contract was inexcusable. He knew better and thought you wouldn't catch on until too late to cancel the contract. This just stinks.

I think you are handling it well. Glad husband is on the same page.

It is lousy that you couldn't call and just have a nice "catching up" chat.

 

[Lothlorien]

My friend owns a sub shop in NC.....near Wake Forest University. He's always looking for help!

Verizon would never have let him do that.... I can't even make changes on my own darn phone, because it's in husband's name....darn stupid thing!


Back to the subshop thing......I'll go to my corner, now.

 

[Wiped Out]

Abbey,
It's sad easy child is turning into a difficult child but you are handling beautifully.

 

[totoro]

I got some thoughts, but I think they are only appropriate in the corner.
It sounds though, like you have your armor on and ready to do battle! Stand strong. and good for husband...

 

[Abbey]

I was surprised, too, that they would allow this to happen. I think that is why they were so 'helpful' in resolving this. There is probably some sorry sap that is getting his butt whipped over doing this. They're going to have to eat the cost of the Blackberry, or go after easy child/difficult child 2. I'm not going to get involved. I just want the contract over and he can figure out how to pay for his own cell.

Abbey

 

[DammitJanet]

easy child doesnt happen to have close to the same name as husband does he? Or would he be such a difficult child as to use husband's name when he went in to upgrade?

Our Suncom account is in Tonys name but I am an authorized user on the account so I can make any changes. I do all the upgrades and changes because if we left it to him nothing would get done. The poor man can barely use his own phone! Now none of the kids could walk in and do it without knowing our social security numbers and names...but...if they had those and someone didnt know us...I can see that happening. Maybe over the phone? Or internet?

 

[Star*]

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

GETTING CROWDED IN THE CORNER......

PASS THE DUCT TAPE PLEASE!

 

[Abbey]

He called (verified by Cingular) then did it online. I have since changed my password to the site.

Star...corner is this way--------------------->

 

[TerryJ2]

Oh, I am so sorry, Abbey. A full scholarship?
He's got to fast-pedal it to campus pronto.

Reminds me of a quote by Benjamin Disraeli:
"Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret."

 

[Abbey]

Oh, I am so sorry, Abbey. A full scholarship?
He's got to fast-pedal it to campus pronto.

Reminds me of a quote by Benjamin Disraeli:
"Youth is a blunder; manhood a struggle; old age a regret."

Yeah, you can try to get something into his head, but it's not happening. husband and I just got in a scrap about this. After agreeing to suspend his phone, he wants ME to turn it back on. I handed him the phone and said, "Go for it. I don't agree, but if it's what you want, YOU do it." Did it happen? Nope.

Damn. I swear I can't win.

Abbey