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General Parenting
Easy Child is starting to spiral
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<blockquote data-quote="confuzzled" data-source="post: 659685" data-attributes="member: 8831"><p>your post about not wanting to be "that" mom made me burst out laughing...I hear you, completely.</p><p></p><p>at 15 its hard to socially organize them--you can make suggestions, but we can no longer make the playdate with the "nice" kids to manipulate the situation. i'm sure you can suggest activities and maybe she'll be open to them but in my experience, there are losers in the pot smoking group as well as the honor society, just as there are nice kids in both groups.</p><p></p><p>I think the reason some of the more socially awkward kids or lower self esteem type kids gravitate toward the less desirables is because they tend to be more accepting. some of the "nice kid" groups are terribly demanding socially--the list of what you can and cant do is a mile long (you DONT have jack Rodgers sandals? you cant afford to go to hibachi every Friday night?? you didn't realize your faux pas by sitting next to the bff of the bff of the head cheerleader???). it can be hard to navigate--especially if you have moved a lot.</p><p></p><p>I'd probably just keep complimenting her when she makes a good choice and talking about the value of real friendship and what that looks like for her. it might help to find out, from her perspective, what she likes about these girls--if she's honest, her answers might surprise you.</p><p></p><p>but if it helps any, I <em>was</em> you last year....</p><p></p><p>and mine figured it out finally.</p><p></p><p>so there is hope!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="confuzzled, post: 659685, member: 8831"] your post about not wanting to be "that" mom made me burst out laughing...I hear you, completely. at 15 its hard to socially organize them--you can make suggestions, but we can no longer make the playdate with the "nice" kids to manipulate the situation. i'm sure you can suggest activities and maybe she'll be open to them but in my experience, there are losers in the pot smoking group as well as the honor society, just as there are nice kids in both groups. I think the reason some of the more socially awkward kids or lower self esteem type kids gravitate toward the less desirables is because they tend to be more accepting. some of the "nice kid" groups are terribly demanding socially--the list of what you can and cant do is a mile long (you DONT have jack Rodgers sandals? you cant afford to go to hibachi every Friday night?? you didn't realize your faux pas by sitting next to the bff of the bff of the head cheerleader???). it can be hard to navigate--especially if you have moved a lot. I'd probably just keep complimenting her when she makes a good choice and talking about the value of real friendship and what that looks like for her. it might help to find out, from her perspective, what she likes about these girls--if she's honest, her answers might surprise you. but if it helps any, I [I]was[/I] you last year.... and mine figured it out finally. so there is hope! [/QUOTE]
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Easy Child is starting to spiral
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