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The Watercooler
easy child, older friends, drinking. Does this worrying ever end?
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<blockquote data-quote="Star*" data-source="post: 551153" data-attributes="member: 4964"><p>Well - I think we've discussed this hear before and I was NOT (repeat NOT) in the cool parent category........because ......</p><p></p><p>I denied that Dude was out drinking for a long time. My DF scoffed and THAT I think made me even more mad than if I had caught Dude drinking. Which by the way I never did. I will probably never get over things regarding drugs and alcohol because of the abuse we suffered from the fall out due to the abuse of the drugs and booze. So imagine my HORROR when Df suggested that the boys "may be drinking" - I flipped. </p><p></p><p>HE however being an alcoholic was Really REALLY the voice of reason. HE took our son outside and had a man to man talk about drinking, responsible drinking, probably mixed in there - WHAT NVER EVER TELL YOUR MOTHER." and then they came back in and Dude looked me right in the eye and said "Mom, I'm 17......and a lot of my friends party. I don't smoke, but I have tried drinking, and I'm not telling you this to make you angry...but now and then if it's around? I may drink a beer or have a shot." (I think at this point my head was going to explode and I was thinking GOSH STAR you are so cool for sitting here being all one with yourself and your candor of calm) He continued "HOWEVER......I made Dad a promise that I will make you and since I'm trying to be mature here and not lie (for the first time in my life) and he actually said that....I promise you that if I'm ever too drunk or realy drunk I will call Dad - and he said NO MATTER WHAT TIME IT IS.......he will come get me, and our deal is - NO WORDS......just comes, gets me, and I come home, go to bed....and that's it. Then we'll talk about it the next day, okay? Can you live with that?" </p><p></p><p>ANd as I'm looking over at DF - he's nodding slowing......and I exhaled because I think while he was talking I forgot to breathe........and I said "I do." And he freaked out and said "REALLY" and looked at DF and said "WOW you were right" and got up and left. </p><p></p><p>DF said - if he hides it? He may take chances in a car, with someone too drunk to drive......if he wants to come home....and thinks there will be a huge battle? He won't - because that's how he was with his folks and he started drinking in fourth grade.....so.....he knew what he was talking about. Get them home alive......is the most important thing. SOoooo. That was our agreement.......and for the times that he called and told DF he was too drunk (I think three) They talked and agreed he stay put. And he's alive......most important thing. BECAUSE DF also told me if Dude is going to be an alcoholic or dry out like him - it's got to be on his own volition. Whether he's 17 or 50....and as it works out - so far so good and he's 22 - (well yeah he's in jail ------sheesh picky picky picky -------but you get my drift - he's not drunk) lol. (ahhhhhhh the places you find your accolades with your difficult child children......(snort) </p><p></p><p>Hugs & Love </p><p>Youre doing great Mom!!!!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Star*, post: 551153, member: 4964"] Well - I think we've discussed this hear before and I was NOT (repeat NOT) in the cool parent category........because ...... I denied that Dude was out drinking for a long time. My DF scoffed and THAT I think made me even more mad than if I had caught Dude drinking. Which by the way I never did. I will probably never get over things regarding drugs and alcohol because of the abuse we suffered from the fall out due to the abuse of the drugs and booze. So imagine my HORROR when Df suggested that the boys "may be drinking" - I flipped. HE however being an alcoholic was Really REALLY the voice of reason. HE took our son outside and had a man to man talk about drinking, responsible drinking, probably mixed in there - WHAT NVER EVER TELL YOUR MOTHER." and then they came back in and Dude looked me right in the eye and said "Mom, I'm 17......and a lot of my friends party. I don't smoke, but I have tried drinking, and I'm not telling you this to make you angry...but now and then if it's around? I may drink a beer or have a shot." (I think at this point my head was going to explode and I was thinking GOSH STAR you are so cool for sitting here being all one with yourself and your candor of calm) He continued "HOWEVER......I made Dad a promise that I will make you and since I'm trying to be mature here and not lie (for the first time in my life) and he actually said that....I promise you that if I'm ever too drunk or realy drunk I will call Dad - and he said NO MATTER WHAT TIME IT IS.......he will come get me, and our deal is - NO WORDS......just comes, gets me, and I come home, go to bed....and that's it. Then we'll talk about it the next day, okay? Can you live with that?" ANd as I'm looking over at DF - he's nodding slowing......and I exhaled because I think while he was talking I forgot to breathe........and I said "I do." And he freaked out and said "REALLY" and looked at DF and said "WOW you were right" and got up and left. DF said - if he hides it? He may take chances in a car, with someone too drunk to drive......if he wants to come home....and thinks there will be a huge battle? He won't - because that's how he was with his folks and he started drinking in fourth grade.....so.....he knew what he was talking about. Get them home alive......is the most important thing. SOoooo. That was our agreement.......and for the times that he called and told DF he was too drunk (I think three) They talked and agreed he stay put. And he's alive......most important thing. BECAUSE DF also told me if Dude is going to be an alcoholic or dry out like him - it's got to be on his own volition. Whether he's 17 or 50....and as it works out - so far so good and he's 22 - (well yeah he's in jail ------sheesh picky picky picky -------but you get my drift - he's not drunk) lol. (ahhhhhhh the places you find your accolades with your difficult child children......(snort) Hugs & Love Youre doing great Mom!!!! [/QUOTE]
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