easy child (or easy child/difficult child) bullying difficult child

[idohope]

easy child 1 (aka easy child/difficult child) has been bullying difficult child very badly lately. Calling her names and imitating her almost every time she says something. difficult child (until a few days ago) has been much improved over the past couple of years but easy child 1 can not let go of the very difficult times our family had with her and is still trying to "punish" difficult child for tantrums and events that happened years ago. It is almost as if as her tantrums etc have diminished his anger at her has escalated. I worry about both difficult child and easy child 1 as he is hurting her but also destroying himself consumed with anger. difficult child is goes to a therapist but it is slow going in terms of any progress. easy child 1 went to a therapist for a year but then wanted to stop, did not like the therapist and felt it was not helping. We tried having easy child 1 go to difficult children therapist but that was not a good match for him. I will try to get to him another therapist but would welcome any thoughts and advice.

 

[InsaneCdn]

This could be one of those situations where family therapy could help - when a dysfunctional situation has gone on for some time, and then one party starts to make major changes - one or more of the others may sub-consciously try and force that first party back into the old mold - because change is a challenge.

 

[Bunny]

difficult child has made strides to be better behaved, but easy child/difficult child is so used to having turmoil in the house caused by difficult child that he may not know how to function when things are a bit calmer.

How about if you take easy child/difficult child and difficult child to the therapist at the same time? They can work on their relationship and maybe easy child will be able to get his anger out in a place that is safe for him to say the things to difficult child that he feels like he needs or wants to say.

 

[Liahona]

Good luck. I've had other kids in therapy off and on for difficult child issues. Just because easy child stopped a therapy a while ago doesn't mean easy child or whole family can't go now.