easy child son called!

Discussion in 'Parent Emeritus' started by janebrain, Aug 20, 2008.

  1. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Hi All,
    well, apparently difficult child 1 did tell my son he should call me, he called last night. He sounded good, not just what he said but how his voice sounded. He said he is doing much better both physically and mentally.

    I asked him about difficult child and boyfriend being evicted from their apartment and he said that "the guy staying there" (huh, what guy?) put holes in the wall and the landlord came over when he was there. He said it really wasn't difficult child and boyfriend's fault. I let it go, don't want to put him in the middle of my conflict with difficult child. To me, it is difficult child and boyfriend doing the same old thing over and over, no excuses for them.

    He said they have been traveling for several weeks now and walked 15 miles on the Pacific Rim Trail. They had just arrived in Bend, Oregon that day and he has a day labor job lined up for today. He said they might stay there awhile and he might look for a job in the restaurant business.

    I asked about the fishing job and he said he really enjoyed it but the guy who had the boat had mechanical problems and then the season ended.

    He said it has been really good for him to just live day to day. I think he had felt so trapped before he went out to the west coast that he couldn't see any way out and now he is sounding so less stressed to me.

    I asked if difficult child is still with him and the boyfriend and he said yes. I think for my son it is fine for him to be just traveling about, seeing the country, working when he needs to, etc. He isn't expecting a baby! I can't imagine what difficult child and boyfriend will do when they have the baby to take around. Oh well, not my problem. The less I know the better.

    Son promised to be better about staying in touch. I told him I just need to know he's alive now and then.

  2. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    This is good news - I'm so glad you had the opportunity to speak with easy child. And also, I think it's great that you're not discussing difficult child and boyfriend too much with him - it's not his stuff to worry about. I hope he stays in touch!
  3. meowbunny

    meowbunny New Member

    Sounds pretty good. I'm so glad he called you. Sometimes I think that just "bumming" around for awhile is a great thing for kids. Way back when, parents would have their children do the grand tour of Europe before expecting them to come home and settle down to life's realities. A very large part of me thinks something like this should still be around.

    Your easy child is doing exactly what I've suggested to a couple of my friends' boys. One did it for a year, came home and finished college. Said it was the best move he could have ever made -- he was on the verge of dropping out of college. He's now a VP for a major bank and still talks about his 6 months of day jobs and traveling around the U.S.

    I'm not sure I could detach as much as you have with a baby in the picture but I have no doubt you are doing the right thing. Hope your daughter grows up when she has the baby.
  4. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    I'm glad that your easy child called you.

    I agree that taking some time off to just hack around can be such a relief from the daily grind. Sometimes you need time for the world to season you before you're ready to settle down.
  5. HereWeGoAgain

    HereWeGoAgain Grandpa

    Great news! I know you were worried.

    I wish I'd done what he's doing, myself. Instead, I got married right out of college. I fantasized about fishing or being a merchant seaman while I was growing up.

    Watched a movie the other day -- "Into the Wild", I think? -- a true story about a kid who just tramped around looking to find himself after doing everything that was expected of him. He hiked out into the wilderness in Alaska. Hmmm, maybe not the best story to mention, since he died out there... but he found true happiness, at least according to the movie.
  6. janebrain

    janebrain New Member

    Thanks, Everyone , for such positive responses. It means a lot to me. He did tell me he thinks about us (me, his stepdad, and little sister) every day and misses and loves us. Wow--he does not usually express himself like that, so I was very touched. I feel very lucky to have such a nice kid.
  7. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Such great news that you heard from him! Glad you had a good conversation.